Yes, we all know the risks of children drowning UNATTENDED in a swimming pool or other body of water. Should these parents ever decide to actually sit down and learn what parenting means, they may discover that once they have children, they are not supposed to go traipsing off to whatever party or social gathering or whatever they wish to do.

Yes, because God forbid that anyone who's a parent do anything but hover obsessively over their children, screaming in alarm if they run around corners or bounce up and down on trampolines. Babysitters don't exist, and relatives willing to take care of the children are tools of the devil.