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jaythenerdkid ([info]jaythenerdkid) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2008-06-19 01:20:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:cruel shoes, genderblah, godwin's, jokes that don't go over well, parents taking shit too seriously, sexism, shoes for industry!, tags are serious business, think of the children, whining in comments

Wank? In my snark comm?
It's more likely than you think.

So, over at ugly_crap on LJ, the comm members amuse themselves by doing the equivalent of telling ghost stories: finding the ugliest/most tasteless products possible and snarking them. Most of the time, things are pretty quiet there - it's quite rare that commenters disagree with the OP's judgement, and when it happens, it's usually pretty civil.

But when moira_aoibheane posts these high heels for babies, things get a little messy.

We have accusations that commenters have no sense of humour, cries of misogyny, and your standard "This isn't funny!" "That's because you have no sense of humour!" "ZOMG U JUST INSULTED MY SENSE OF HUMOUR U H00R!".

And, because no wank would be complete without it: invocation of Godwin's Law for absolutely no reason at all!

Small, but tasty.



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[info]brennalarose
2008-06-18 07:13 pm UTC (link)
Scotch tape?

My mother needed a way to find me when I got away from her (I was a quick little shit and bald until I was two). Solution? Tape a huge-ass bow to my head.

But, then, I was raised by weirdos.

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[info]watersword
2008-06-18 09:37 pm UTC (link)
Are you my long-lost twin?

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[info]brennalarose
2008-06-18 11:48 pm UTC (link)
Possibly. Did you get lost in damn near every ethnic festival in town?

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[info]hallidae
2008-06-18 09:54 pm UTC (link)
I'm sorry, I LOL'd for almost two minutes straight. Though I think if it wasn't for the fact that I was a hobbit as a child, my mother would have tried the same.

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[info]brennalarose
2008-06-18 11:49 pm UTC (link)
She also had to padlock me into a harness. It was the only way to not lose me in department stores.

I'm convinced one of my ancestors must have had a steamy affair with Hermes.

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[info]hallidae
2008-06-19 12:04 am UTC (link)
My parents tried a toddler leash. I quickly learned that embarrassing my mother (by sitting on the floor and sulking until a passing adult asked me what was wrong, then replying as pissily as possible "I not dog!") was the fastest way to get out of them.

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[info]brennalarose
2008-06-19 01:16 am UTC (link)
You were smarter than I was. Then again, I didn't know a lot of dogs. We had cats.

I unzipped mine. So Mom turned it around. I found something to lean against and shimmied it down. So she sewed d-rings on and stuck a padlock on it. I decided to humiliate her other ways.

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[info]exit_chrysalis
2008-06-18 10:42 pm UTC (link)
My mom continued with the huge-ass bows until I was like 7. This was the early 90s.

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[info]brennalarose
2008-06-18 11:51 pm UTC (link)
Ditto. Though we had to quit it with the scotch tape once I got hair. It was so curly, velcro sat up and begged.

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[info]exit_chrysalis
2008-06-18 11:52 pm UTC (link)
My mom made bows out of massively wide ribbon, empty barrettes, and hot glue. My favorite was an empty plastic one she filled with jelly beans. :D

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[info]brennalarose
2008-06-19 01:13 am UTC (link)
Ditto. But, my favorite was the one she made out of balloons.

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[info]exit_chrysalis
2008-06-19 01:44 am UTC (link)
OMG we were separated at birth. I had one of those.

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[info]brennalarose
2008-06-19 02:23 am UTC (link)
OMG! I'm not alone! *squeal*

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[info]exit_chrysalis
2008-06-19 02:39 am UTC (link)
I told my mom about this thread. She said that she's got the whole bin of them saved for her grandchildren...

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[info]brennalarose
2008-06-19 02:44 am UTC (link)
I'm sure mine does to, right along with my old Daisy Kingdom frocks.

God I loved those poofyass things.

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[info]chibikaijuu
2008-06-19 07:10 am UTC (link)
My mother, a big sewer-crafter, outright refused to to make me any Daisy Kingdom clothing, because she said it nauseated her.

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[info]brennalarose
2008-06-19 09:17 pm UTC (link)
I think my mother tried. I apparently used to throw a very convincing tantrum.

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[info]pantyless_angel
2008-06-19 02:38 am UTC (link)
I read that as huge-ass bowl at first, the mental image was fantastic.

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[info]brennalarose
2008-06-19 02:43 am UTC (link)
Knowing my family, that's an easy mistake to make. I'm sure we've done weirder things and just don't talk about it.

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[info]evilsqueakers
2008-06-19 06:30 am UTC (link)
Yes! I'm not the only bald until 2 kid around. Didn't have teeth either. I also was nice enough at the age of about three to play hide and seek with my mom at Disney World. Without bothering to tell anyone. Oops.

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[info]tofuknight
2008-06-19 04:07 pm UTC (link)
Parents love that game!

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[info]evilsqueakers
2008-06-19 08:59 pm UTC (link)
Well, of course they do! Especially when you're bendable enough to get out of the stroller and they're so damned tired of playing "chase the kid." I'll finish the story as my godmom would: "when we got back to the Holiday Inn, she ran into the bar, hopped up on the barstool, and announced 'This is my mama, her name is Babah, and boy does she need a drink." The kicker being the bartender agreed. I was prone to playing it at least once a day.

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[info]brennalarose
2008-06-19 09:16 pm UTC (link)
AW! I never did it in an amusement park. I did sulk because I didn't get to ride the pink Dumbo. But I was four and had missed my nap. At least you saw to it your mother got a drink afterwards!

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[info]evilsqueakers
2008-06-20 12:30 am UTC (link)
I went to DW like 4 times a year before starting school. They all knew me well. Especially that Holiday Inn. It was the one with the clown. I never sulked over a ride since I usually got my way. Probably why she did need a drink.

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