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platedlizard ([info]platedlizard) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2008-07-02 18:28:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Attention Associates, wank spill in the freezer section.
A bit of a mini wank that's a tad old, fortunately it freezes well.

Life Hacker posts a tip from Lunch in Box about a nifty way to freeze ground meat. Take your ground meat, put it in a gallon ziplock bag, pound it flat, and use a chopstick or ruler to press four lines into it to create nine square patties. Freeze. A nifty little hint that just takes a moment to do, saves bags, freezer space, and makes it easy to watch your portions.

It starts off well, with people posting their own helpful hints, but quickly goes downhill.

lionalbob,
Isn't this precise measuring procedure anal retentive or OCD symptoms?

People respond politely:

johnydover,
Or if you're on a diet and you're counting calories, or you can use the pre-proportions to make sure you don't break yourself off too much red meat at once, etc. It's a way of being aware of exactly how much you're eating.

A lot of people have dietary restrictions due to illness, too. Diabetics don't have to keep too much track of protein, but they're required to have a certain amount to balance out their limited carb consumption


Naturally, this doesn't go over too well:

Deprog Mori,
You don't need this for dietary restrictions. If you can't figure out how to limit your intake of X ingredient just by using common sense, you're screwed.

This is the OCD/AR version of portion control, but it really doesn't convey any sort of advantage to anyone.


Bruce A,
@Deprong Mori: Are you serious? OK, so let me run this by you: which is better? Being able to break off a couple patties which will thaw quickly or having to thaw a whole pound of ground beef when you only needed half a pound? I don't know about you, but I'm going to say option #1 is more advantageous.

Deprog Mori,
Nah, you don't freeze a whole pound of ground beef. Portion it any way you want, but don't be so AR/OCD about the whole thing. Duh.

Just portion your ground beef quickly. Just form a hamburger patty in the size and shape of a hamburger patty. Whether or not it's within 50 grams of a baseline amount is irrelevant.

Jesus, are you folks that fucking lame to not understand this?


And it goes on from there. Good times.



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[info]out_bottle
2008-07-03 02:52 am UTC (link)
Who pissed in your 1/4 pound meat patties?

It's the wank I've always deeply dreaded dreamed of, the wank about MEAT.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

I'm fairly certain we've had yaoi wanks before. nt - [info]mcity, 2008-07-03 03:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]brennalarose, 2008-07-03 05:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]out_bottle, 2008-07-07 12:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]brennalarose, 2008-07-07 01:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]midnight_hawk, 2008-07-04 06:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]aslantabook, 2008-07-05 05:07 am UTC

[info]spawn_of_kong
2008-07-03 02:53 am UTC (link)
Portion it any way you want, but don't be so AR/OCD about the whole thing. Duh.

Sheesh. What did the AR/OCD crowd ever do to Deprog Mori to deserve such ire?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]rennyn_alerothi, 2008-07-03 03:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2008-07-03 11:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]spawn_of_kong, 2008-07-03 02:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jkefka, 2008-07-03 05:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]airie, 2008-07-03 07:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]tyrotheterrible, 2008-07-03 11:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2008-07-04 01:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rganymede, 2008-07-04 02:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kookaburra, 2008-07-06 08:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]catmoran, 2008-07-03 12:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]funwithrage, 2008-07-03 04:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]insanityprelude, 2008-07-03 11:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]vzg, 2008-07-04 04:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]midnight_hawk, 2008-07-04 06:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]omnicrom, 2008-07-12 01:13 am UTC

[info]smashingstars
2008-07-03 03:09 am UTC (link)
What's the deal with hamburger "sandwich"? Did I just time travel to 1936? It's a hamburger. No need for the sandwich.

What's the deal with "sandwich"? Did I just time travel to 1987? It's "sammich".

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]out_bottle, 2008-07-03 03:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]brennalarose, 2008-07-03 05:25 pm UTC

[info]rennyn_alerothi
2008-07-03 03:11 am UTC (link)
MEAT WANK. HOORAY!

(Reply to this)


[info]mcity
2008-07-03 03:18 am UTC (link)
Haven't we had an "instinct > common sense" wank before? Or was that the Harmoanians?

Portion it any way you want, but don't be so AR/OCD about the whole thing.
I do not think that phrase means what you think it means.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2008-07-03 05:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]brennalarose, 2008-07-03 05:32 pm UTC

[info]kadath
2008-07-03 03:20 am UTC (link)
Ah, in response to no one agreeing with him, Deprog Mori has decided to go with the tricky double-pronged "full steam asshole/ain't no thing" approach. I haven't seen anybody successfully pull that one off since the Bleidermeyer-Gonzales match of '93, and, frankly, I don't think Mori's got the skills for it.

What about you, Bob?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]cmdr_zoom, 2008-07-03 03:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kadath, 2008-07-03 03:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cmdr_zoom, 2008-07-03 06:08 am UTC

[info]esther_a
2008-07-03 03:21 am UTC (link)
Caring about how total strangers on the internet package frozen hamburger seems more OCD than anything else here.

(Reply to this)


[info]the__ivorytower
2008-07-03 03:25 am UTC (link)
Wow, what the fuck is HIS problem? He'd have hated my family. We had an old fashioned grocery store scale at the house, and my dad would measure out exact one-pound portions of burger. He'd wrap them, and flatten them so they'd fit more efficiently in the freezer. But my dad was fucking crazy a little anal too, but it seemed like a good idea to me.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]shaysdays, 2008-07-03 06:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ellensmithee, 2008-07-03 09:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2008-07-03 01:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]gunshou, 2008-07-03 09:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2008-07-03 10:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]waitwut, 2008-07-04 03:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2008-07-04 04:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]waitwut, 2008-07-04 01:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bangoskank, 2008-07-04 09:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]evening_rose, 2008-07-05 08:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lirazel, 2008-07-03 03:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]midnight_hawk, 2008-07-04 06:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]greenling, 2008-07-04 02:46 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sudaki, 2008-07-03 05:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]moonjaguar, 2008-07-03 09:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sudaki, 2008-07-04 06:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]moonjaguar, 2008-07-03 09:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]julesnoctambule, 2008-07-03 09:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kookaburra, 2008-07-06 08:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]moonjaguar, 2008-07-06 08:43 pm UTC

[info]frequentmouse
2008-07-03 03:27 am UTC (link)
Huh.

Hell of a lot less trouble/mess/possible contamination of food and food preparation surfaces than making stupid round patties, I say.

Anyway, no assumption that you have to, like, make perfect squares.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]platedlizard, 2008-07-03 03:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2008-07-03 05:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lirazel, 2008-07-03 03:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]made_by_kali, 2008-07-03 03:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2008-07-03 05:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bubosquared, 2008-07-05 11:31 am UTC

[info]doomsday
2008-07-03 03:28 am UTC (link)
If you can't figure out how to limit your intake of X ingredient just by using common sense, you're screwed.

I fully admit that when chocolate bars aren't scored, I cannot limit my intake. Lacking common sense sure is delicious.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]rganymede, 2008-07-03 04:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tangentialone, 2008-07-03 06:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mummimamma, 2008-07-03 10:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2008-07-03 09:18 pm UTC

nam_jai
2008-07-03 04:27 am UTC (link)
I think this jaxun person has an excellent philosophy of life:

Then it's settled. Anytime the discussion thread starts to go south, someone needs to step in and mention cookies.

Frankly, this should be a default global foreign policy. Every diplomat should show up with snicker doodles.

Mmmm, snicker doodles.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]youngcurmudgeon, 2008-07-03 05:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]fuzzybluelogic, 2008-07-03 05:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mcity, 2008-07-03 05:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2008-07-03 09:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]delineated, 2008-07-03 11:36 am UTC
(no subject) - pastri_archy, 2008-07-03 11:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]platedlizard, 2008-07-04 08:06 pm UTC

[info]dragonfangirl
2008-07-03 04:51 am UTC (link)
Just portion your ground beef quickly. Just form a hamburger patty in the size and shape of a hamburger patty. Jesus, are you folks that fucking lame to not understand this?

The ultimate test of intelligence on the internet: Are we freezing our hamburger patties the RIGHT WAY?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ayezur, 2008-07-03 05:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cmdr_zoom, 2008-07-03 06:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]julian_black, 2008-07-04 04:47 am UTC

[info]turante
2008-07-03 05:06 am UTC (link)
Deprog Mori seems very over-invested in other people's meat usage.

...that sounds a bit dirtier than I'd intended.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]b_jellybean, 2008-07-03 05:23 am UTC

[info]melannen
2008-07-03 05:11 am UTC (link)
Doesn't everyone have Tupperware hamburger press thingys like my mom uses? They're basic kitchen equipment! Just like every other bizarre and idiosyncratic thing my mom uses in her kitchen!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - iwanttobeasleep, 2008-07-03 05:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]fuzzybluelogic, 2008-07-03 05:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mcity, 2008-07-03 05:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tyrotheterrible, 2008-07-03 11:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mcity, 2008-07-04 12:26 am UTC
I love Alton but... - [info]izzygal, 2008-07-03 05:09 pm UTC
Re: I love Alton but... - [info]moosecharmer, 2008-07-04 09:36 pm UTC
Re: I love Alton but... - [info]thecheese, 2008-07-06 04:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]stellar_dust, 2008-07-03 06:12 pm UTC

[info]chibikaijuu
2008-07-03 06:25 am UTC (link)
I...

...what?

(Reply to this)


[info]chibikaijuu
2008-07-03 06:28 am UTC (link)
Also, uh, 50 grams is a lot. Most "serving sizes" are around 30g.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]cmdr_zoom, 2008-07-03 07:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mireille, 2008-07-03 07:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ryuutchi, 2008-07-03 08:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cmdr_zoom, 2008-07-03 09:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cmdr_zoom, 2008-07-03 09:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]doire, 2008-07-04 09:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gunshou, 2008-07-03 09:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]fools_game, 2008-07-03 12:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2008-07-03 03:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]lirazel, 2008-07-03 03:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2008-07-03 04:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]gunshou, 2008-07-03 09:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]gunshou, 2008-07-03 10:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2008-07-04 03:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2008-07-04 03:34 am UTC

[info]tarash
2008-07-03 07:08 am UTC (link)
"Just portion your ground beef quickly. Just form a hamburger patty in the size and shape of a hamburger patty. Whether or not it's within 50 grams of a baseline amount is irrelevant."

How is that any less anal? And what if you don't want hamburgers?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2008-07-03 11:35 am UTC

[info]kagutaba
2008-07-03 07:54 am UTC (link)
Just portion your ground beef quickly. Just form a hamburger patty in the size and shape of a hamburger patty. Whether or not it's within 50 grams of a baseline amount is irrelevant.

That's not really all that different from what's bring displayed. My mom always did that on burger night and it's basically the same concept. I think I like the chopstick idea though. Hmm.

This makes me want to learn how to cook.

(Reply to this)


tree
2008-07-03 09:38 am UTC (link)
I love that evil NOM NOM mermaid.

(Reply to this)


[info]solar_type_star
2008-07-03 12:17 pm UTC (link)
Wank about frozen meat.

... I've seen everything.

Of all the Lifehacker posts that show up on my RSS feed every day, I never thought this one would bring the wank.

(Reply to this)


[info]rowanberries
2008-07-03 12:50 pm UTC (link)
...What the fuck.

Because it matters so much. My god, I've been so blind!

(Reply to this)

Wanka Cliff Notes
[info]airie
2008-07-03 01:45 pm UTC (link)
Frozen Ground Meat = AR/OCD

Milk = Rape

Icing =//= Frosting


Hrm... The more you know!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Wanka Cliff Notes - [info]lirazel, 2008-07-03 04:39 pm UTC
Re: Wanka Cliff Notes - [info]airie, 2008-07-03 04:53 pm UTC
Re: Wanka Cliff Notes - [info]veleda_k, 2008-07-06 06:31 am UTC
Re: Wanka Cliff Notes - [info]anarchicq, 2008-07-03 06:43 pm UTC

[info]yattara
2008-07-03 03:24 pm UTC (link)
This once, I'll play the vegetarian-card, and say I am glad I gave up eating meat. Because that means people won't be casting aspersions on what I put into my freezer.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]kadath, 2008-07-03 04:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachelmap, 2008-07-03 04:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]doomsday, 2008-07-03 09:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - iwanttobeasleep, 2008-07-04 01:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]xanos, 2008-07-04 02:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2008-07-04 04:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bubosquared, 2008-07-05 11:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2008-07-05 08:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mireille, 2008-07-04 05:00 am UTC
(no subject) - iwanttobeasleep, 2008-07-04 05:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mireille, 2008-07-04 05:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]digigirl132, 2008-07-04 07:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]blackjackrocket, 2008-07-04 09:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]platedlizard, 2008-07-04 08:10 pm UTC

[info]ladyindigo
2008-07-03 03:40 pm UTC (link)
What's that, sir? You have an opinion? By all means, rub my face all over its ballsac! I don't mind!

(Reply to this)


[info]demonbean
2008-07-03 10:04 pm UTC (link)
Just portion your ground beef quickly. Just form a hamburger patty in the size and shape of a hamburger patty. Whether or not it's within 50 grams of a baseline amount is irrelevant.

Jesus, are you folks that fucking lame to not understand this?


"I see your point and proceed to ignore it entirely!"

(Reply to this)(Thread)

:-D - [info]rachelmap, 2008-07-04 04:11 am UTC


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