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platedlizard ([info]platedlizard) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2008-07-02 18:28:00


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Attention Associates, wank spill in the freezer section.
A bit of a mini wank that's a tad old, fortunately it freezes well.

Life Hacker posts a tip from Lunch in Box about a nifty way to freeze ground meat. Take your ground meat, put it in a gallon ziplock bag, pound it flat, and use a chopstick or ruler to press four lines into it to create nine square patties. Freeze. A nifty little hint that just takes a moment to do, saves bags, freezer space, and makes it easy to watch your portions.

It starts off well, with people posting their own helpful hints, but quickly goes downhill.

lionalbob,
Isn't this precise measuring procedure anal retentive or OCD symptoms?

People respond politely:

johnydover,
Or if you're on a diet and you're counting calories, or you can use the pre-proportions to make sure you don't break yourself off too much red meat at once, etc. It's a way of being aware of exactly how much you're eating.

A lot of people have dietary restrictions due to illness, too. Diabetics don't have to keep too much track of protein, but they're required to have a certain amount to balance out their limited carb consumption


Naturally, this doesn't go over too well:

Deprog Mori,
You don't need this for dietary restrictions. If you can't figure out how to limit your intake of X ingredient just by using common sense, you're screwed.

This is the OCD/AR version of portion control, but it really doesn't convey any sort of advantage to anyone.


Bruce A,
@Deprong Mori: Are you serious? OK, so let me run this by you: which is better? Being able to break off a couple patties which will thaw quickly or having to thaw a whole pound of ground beef when you only needed half a pound? I don't know about you, but I'm going to say option #1 is more advantageous.

Deprog Mori,
Nah, you don't freeze a whole pound of ground beef. Portion it any way you want, but don't be so AR/OCD about the whole thing. Duh.

Just portion your ground beef quickly. Just form a hamburger patty in the size and shape of a hamburger patty. Whether or not it's within 50 grams of a baseline amount is irrelevant.

Jesus, are you folks that fucking lame to not understand this?


And it goes on from there. Good times.


(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]yattara
2008-07-03 03:24 pm UTC (link)
This once, I'll play the vegetarian-card, and say I am glad I gave up eating meat. Because that means people won't be casting aspersions on what I put into my freezer.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]kadath
2008-07-03 04:13 pm UTC (link)
Yes they will. Veggie burgers aren't real food and are an affront to them, personally.

(I had an actual conversation like this with someone who then went on to describe their hamburger in nigh-religious detail.)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]rachelmap
2008-07-03 04:44 pm UTC (link)
I've seen on-line discussions like this; it's like the carnivore assumes the vegetarian doesn't eat meat on purpose to PISS HIM OFF, and therefore must be squished like a bug. So strange.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]doomsday
2008-07-03 09:16 pm UTC (link)
It's not just vegetarians and it's not just on the internet: Last night I got berated for having the gall to prefer my hamburger bun toasted. Shame on me! Don't I know that other people are offended by the idea of crispy bread?

(Reply to this)(Parent)


iwanttobeasleep
2008-07-04 01:59 am UTC (link)
I read that opinion in the local newspaper the other day. Except it was from a chef saying that veggie burgers were trying to trick people into thinking they were eating meat, and if he/she wants a burger, it's going to be beef, damnit.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]xanos
2008-07-04 02:12 am UTC (link)
Um, good for her? Personally I think I'd be freaked out if my veggie burger tasted enough like meat to fool people.

Also I love how that sounds like the veggie burgers are CONSPIRING. The actual burgers, mind, not the companies or the vegetarians or anything. Now I'm picturing the ones in my freezer whispering secretively to each other about how to best their mortal enemy, the bovine...

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]chibikaijuu
2008-07-04 04:23 am UTC (link)
See, I can't eat veggie burgers that attempt to taste like meat, because I like my food not to lie, thanks, and I can't eat "garden burgers" very often because once some very yummy ones and a bout of the 24-hour gastrointestinal upset coincided. All over my bathroom floor.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]bubosquared
2008-07-05 11:41 am UTC (link)
See, I can't eat veggie burgers that attempt to taste like meat, because I like my food not to lie, thanks

Yes, this! The proliferation of veggieburgers that taste just like actual meat makes me a sad hippie, because I can't eat them (my brain is easily fooled, it seems, and paranoid about eating meat now) and so many restaurants seem to be using the fake-meat kind of veggieburgers. :(

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]chibikaijuu
2008-07-05 08:05 pm UTC (link)
Oh, I eat meat. I also eat plenty of not-meat protein. I just prefer it not to masquerade as something it isn't, because, well, it never does it effectively, and I think it's silly - if you're not going to eat meat, why pretend that you are? (I have one exception: Boca Spicy Chick'n Patties are delicious.)

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]mireille
2008-07-04 05:00 am UTC (link)
I've heard that from vegetarian friends of mine, too--that if they wanted something that looked/tasted like meat, they'd eat meat.

Me, I just know veggie corn dogs are marginally less bad for me than the "real" ones.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


iwanttobeasleep
2008-07-04 05:03 am UTC (link)
They make vegetarian corn dogs? Who? Is the corn bread part any good? Because that's the important part and all I care about.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]mireille
2008-07-04 05:08 am UTC (link)
If you're in the US, Morningstar Farms makes them--regular ones and mini corndogs. I am not a connoisseur, really, but to me the breading tastes about the same as your average everyday frozen corndog.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]digigirl132
2008-07-04 07:22 am UTC (link)
You can't freeze veggies that way! >(

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]blackjackrocket
2008-07-04 09:57 am UTC (link)
Oh, I don't know about that. I'm sure there's a whole section of the population who'd string you up for buying frozen veggies rather than fresh ones, or if you make ice out of purified water or not.

And let's not get started on canning!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]platedlizard
2008-07-04 08:10 pm UTC (link)
Alas, you still don't get a free ride here, since the technique in question works with rice, fried rice, and beans, at least as far as I tried.

Also, cream of wheat, but I doubt most people make a patch to freeze like I do. Ah, the weird things I do for my iguana.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


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