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hangingfire ([info]hangingfire) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2008-07-15 14:54:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:Caffeinated
Entry tags:baristas: not sga-related, if only he ordered decaffeinated, no questions will be answered, punching customers in the dick

Coffeewank!
This is an example of the wailing and gnashing of teeth that can ensue when you take coffee too seriously. Or, depending on which side you take, what happens when you don't take it seriously enough.

Jeff Simmermon of the And I Am Not Lying blog wanted an iced triple espresso from Murky Coffee in DC. He's informed that it's against Murky's policy to serve iced espresso, and when he orders the espresso and a cup of ice, he's told that "What you’re about to do … that’s really, really Not Okay." Simmermon takes exception to the barista's attitude, posts about it on his blog, and also shows the tip he left at Murky. The comments explode, some taking sides with Simmermon, others with the barista; the blog post ends up  linked on BoingBoing; and the owner of Murky responds with a highly unambiguous "Fuck you, Jeff Simmermon".

Insert joke here about everyone needing to lay off the caffeine.

ETA—Dear Mod What Added Tags To This Entry: I luff you. ♥!




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[info]mcity
2008-07-16 05:45 am UTC (link)
Still drinking water, over here. Water that I froze in my freezer. At my house. For pennies.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]out_bottle
2008-07-16 06:43 am UTC (link)
Egad! Pennies, you say?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mcity, 2008-07-16 06:45 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]out_bottle, 2008-07-16 06:49 am UTC

[info]ninwhore
2008-07-16 06:37 am UTC (link)
No questions will be answered about the $5 Hot Chocolate (during the months we offer it)

...I'm sorry but what? Is it because it's $5 they won't answer questions? Or do I just lack coffee shop know-how?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]telesilla
2008-07-16 06:44 am UTC (link)
Yeah that bugs me too. No questions? Like, can I get that with low fat milk? Or with or without whipped cream? Fuck that noise.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ninwhore, 2008-07-16 06:50 am UTC

[info]darkrose
2008-07-16 06:40 am UTC (link)
See, this is why I like the Tassimo machine at work. It doesn't talk down to me, it doesn't faint when I put the coffee in the microwave after the milk and non-dairy creamer have cooled it too much, and it doesn't complain when I dump a ton of Splenda and Torani syrup in it so I basically have mildly-coffee-flavored syrup.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]seperis
2008-07-17 12:39 am UTC (link)
That sounds really delicious. I want.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

because someone had to
[info]telesilla
2008-07-16 06:41 am UTC (link)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: because someone had to
[info]seiberwing
2008-07-16 06:26 pm UTC (link)
Is this a general thing or is there something
wrong in that picture?

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]out_bottle
2008-07-16 06:47 am UTC (link)
I worry about the corn visions. Maybe more coffee is not what OP needs.

(Reply to this)


[info]madelfdisease
2008-07-16 06:54 am UTC (link)
The only thing I can think of while reading this wank is Clerks:

"What do you mean there's no ice. You mean I have to drink this coffee hot?"

(Reply to this)

Recipe-- Vodka Expresso
[info]out_bottle
2008-07-16 06:59 am UTC (link)
50ml Vodka
5ml Sugar syrup
10ml Kahlua
10ml Tia Maria
1 short strong Espresso

Pour all ingredients into a shaker, and then add the ice. Shake hard, and then strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with 3 coffee beans, placed into the centre of the drinks surface, and arranged into a flower petal formation.

But if you think you will probably choke on the coffee beans floating in the glass, omit. What the hell.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Recipe-- Vodka Expresso
[info]lyppy
2008-07-16 05:20 pm UTC (link)
When my sister and I were little, we used to try and make "cappuccinos" by mixing chocolate milk and then putting coffee beans and whipped cream on top. We didn't choke on the coffee beans, we just kind of chewed them. It didn't give us quite the coffee taste we desired, but hey. We felt grown up.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Recipe-- Vodka Expresso - [info]out_bottle, 2008-07-16 05:25 pm UTC
Re: Recipe-- Vodka Expresso - [info]vampychick, 2008-07-16 08:38 pm UTC

[info]luthe
2008-07-16 07:08 am UTC (link)
Imma going to be over here, with my delicious, delicious Stash Darjeeling Summer tea.

*hates everything coffee-related (with the exception of Kahlua, the alcohol of the gods)*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]utahraptor, 2008-07-16 07:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]shaysdays, 2008-07-16 06:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]insanityprelude, 2008-07-19 05:38 am UTC

[info]aerobot
2008-07-16 07:14 am UTC (link)
Wow, I wish I had a job where people defended me for telling customers that their requests were Not Okay, even if they were an awful idea. Clearly you're only allowed to get away with it if your profession is pretensious enough.

Dammit, why can't graphic design be like that? :/

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ellensmithee, 2008-07-16 07:44 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cmdr_zoom, 2008-07-16 07:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]aerobot, 2008-07-16 08:38 am UTC

[info]tehrin
2008-07-16 08:02 am UTC (link)
Whoever tagged this entry with "punching customers in the dick" wins at life.

(Reply to this)


[info]overlord_mordax
2008-07-16 03:00 pm UTC (link)
I swear to god I'm going to call them up long distance just to ask about their hot chocolate.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]athersgeo, 2008-07-16 06:41 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]overlord_mordax, 2008-07-17 02:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dreamer_marie, 2008-07-16 08:35 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pfflyernc, 2008-07-17 02:55 am UTC

[info]demonbean
2008-07-16 07:32 pm UTC (link)
Maybe the barista should have offered the guy an Americano as an alternative?

What surprises me is that, even in the face of extreme adversity and stress, the customer was able to write out such a calm and well-reasoned article, devoid of over-reactions or immature insults.

OH WAIT ...

(Reply to this)


[info]sewingmyfish
2008-07-17 01:58 am UTC (link)
http://www.rainbowbrite.freehomepage.com/images/murky2.gif Who'd drink this guy's coffee anyway?

(Reply to this)


[info]fuzzytowers
2008-07-17 03:02 am UTC (link)
If I asked you to sculpt or paint something for me, would you then throw a bucket of acid on it because "that's the way i like it" thereby ruining your creation?

Okay, I realize that the entire thing is blown way out of proportion. But, seriously, does this guy have any common sense?

It is a little like Rashomon. Only with coffee instead of, you know, a dead Samurai.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]darkrose, 2008-07-17 05:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dez_chan, 2008-07-17 05:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kermit_the_sock, 2008-07-18 08:15 am UTC

[info]singe
2008-07-17 04:49 am UTC (link)
Mmmmm, tea. Delicious, strong, sweet, cancer-preventing, beautiful, beautiful tea.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]out_bottle, 2008-07-17 05:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2008-07-17 11:29 pm UTC

[info]queencallipygos
2008-07-18 02:29 am UTC (link)
The thing is, though -- as good as 100% correctly-prepared-according-to-the-pronuncements coffee tastes, it's not like deviating from that a little makes coffee instantly taste like a licked shoe. It may not be the gustatory orgasm you aspire for, but it will still taste good.

(Reply to this)


[info]turante
2008-07-18 03:16 am UTC (link)
Damn, I love MF right now:
Murky's new front sign.
Hee.

I'm so glad I don't drink coffee.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]fairy_tale_echo, 2008-07-22 07:17 am UTC

[info]ashes
2008-07-19 11:37 pm UTC (link)
I know I'm late, but I love the owner's No questions will be answered about the $5 Hot Chocolate (during the months we offer it). policy. What if I have a food allergy? I mean, does he really mean absolutely NO questions?

(Reply to this)


[info]knightrider
2008-07-20 12:32 am UTC (link)
There would appear to be another response from Murky here: http://www.boingboing.net/2008/07/19/murky-coffees-owner.html#comments

God, this thing just won't die down, will it? Especially if they keep poking one another.

(Reply to this)


[info]snarkhunter
2008-07-20 03:35 am UTC (link)
My favorite thing about this wank is the sheer creativity of what people are threatening to put in their coffee. So far, I've seen a Thermos full of lime jello, raspberry Kool-aid, mustard, salt, and, of course, piss.



(Reply to this)



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