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hangingfire ([info]hangingfire) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2008-07-15 14:54:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:Caffeinated
Entry tags:baristas: not sga-related, if only he ordered decaffeinated, no questions will be answered, punching customers in the dick

Coffeewank!
This is an example of the wailing and gnashing of teeth that can ensue when you take coffee too seriously. Or, depending on which side you take, what happens when you don't take it seriously enough.

Jeff Simmermon of the And I Am Not Lying blog wanted an iced triple espresso from Murky Coffee in DC. He's informed that it's against Murky's policy to serve iced espresso, and when he orders the espresso and a cup of ice, he's told that "What you’re about to do … that’s really, really Not Okay." Simmermon takes exception to the barista's attitude, posts about it on his blog, and also shows the tip he left at Murky. The comments explode, some taking sides with Simmermon, others with the barista; the blog post ends up  linked on BoingBoing; and the owner of Murky responds with a highly unambiguous "Fuck you, Jeff Simmermon".

Insert joke here about everyone needing to lay off the caffeine.

ETA—Dear Mod What Added Tags To This Entry: I luff you. ♥!


(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]itsirtou
2008-07-16 04:28 am UTC (link)
No modifications to the Classic Cappuccino. No questions will be answered about the $5 Hot Chocolate (during the months we offer it). No espresso in a to-go cup.

Someone please explain the reasoning for all three of these things because I do not understand anything that is being said here.

Why in the hell is the Hot Chocolate five god damn dollars and why will no questions be answered about it? What if I'm in a hurry and I want espresso? What if I want a hazelnut Cappuccino?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]sevendeadlyfun
2008-07-16 04:35 am UTC (link)
Let me see if I can clarify this for you.

Original Text:
No modifications to the Classic Cappuccino. No questions will be answered about the $5 Hot Chocolate (during the months we offer it). No espresso in a to-go cup.

Translation:
I am a pretentious asshat and to further sweeten the deal, I'm an irrational, pretentious asshat. Lucky you.

Does that help any?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]julesnoctambule
2008-07-16 05:01 am UTC (link)
I got the same thing out of that, really. 'Murky' appears to be in reference to their business policies.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]itsirtou
2008-07-16 05:04 am UTC (link)
This makes much more sense. He needs to just say that straight-up so those of us who are confused will understand.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]dez_chan
2008-07-16 05:01 am UTC (link)
Wow. That's a lot of pretension up in there.

$5 hot cocoa? I assume the question there would be, "What the hell is in your cocoa to make it worth $5?" or perhaps, "Do I get a reach around with that?"

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]iamnotyourmuse
2008-07-16 05:47 am UTC (link)
I'd bet the actual answer has something to do with the type of cocoa powder or chocolate they're using, but if so? Why not just make a sign? Kind of makes me think there isn't really a good reason. It's five bucks because they say so.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]dez_chan
2008-07-16 07:11 am UTC (link)
Are they scared? Is the cocoa really rat poo? I dunno about you, but if a food establishment refuses to answer questions about the product, I assume the worst and I don't buy it. Seriously, is this that complicated?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]iamnotyourmuse, 2008-07-16 01:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]willywanka, 2008-07-16 01:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]eldritch, 2008-07-16 07:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bobafeis, 2008-07-17 04:58 am UTC

[info]an_igor
2008-07-16 09:29 am UTC (link)
I was thinking marijuana, but that works, too.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]cmdr_zoom
2008-07-16 07:52 am UTC (link)
Probably it's that they got tired of being asked these things constantly. That's it, we're putting up a sign so we can just point to it from now on.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]rimrunner
2008-07-17 05:23 am UTC (link)
At one of Seattle's best used bookstores, there is a list headed with the following: "Questions That Are Guaranteed to Irritate the Hell Out of Twice Sold Tales Employees".

Most of them are pretty stupid questions, to be fair, and I spent long enough in bookselling that I have no trouble believing they were asked (including the well-known "I'm looking for this book, it has a red cover..." phenomenon).

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]lilpocketnin
2008-07-17 12:15 pm UTC (link)
At my work, we have a sign beside the drink cup display that says, "yes, that's an effin large. Yes, it's 3.75."

Because we get asked that at least twenty times in a five-hour shift. Stupid boss, switching to 20oz larges...

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]phosfate
2008-07-16 02:17 pm UTC (link)
"Is there any poison in the hot chocolate?"

"I SAID GOOD DAY, SIR!"

(Reply to this)(Parent)

This is just an educated guess, mind
[info]caffeine_fairy
2008-07-16 10:38 am UTC (link)
No questions will be answered about the $5 Hot Chocolate

Why is it $5?
Really $5?
US or Canadian?
If I didn't have the milk in it, would it still be $5?
If I didn't have the chocolate in it, would it still be $5?
If I bring my own mug, will it still be $5?
I come here all the time, I can have it for $4, right?
I'm a new customer, I can have it for $4, right?
How about $4.50?
$4.99?
Why isn't it the same price as Starbucks hot chocolate?
Why isn't it the same price as Costa Coffee hot chocolate?
If I buy it for my friend is it still $5?
What about if we share it between us?
What about if I'm a student?
A pensioner?
A dog owner?
What if I don't like hot chocolate?
What if I'm lactose intolerant?
What if I get it with half milk and half cream?
What about if I stand here and whine about it being $5 whilst a huge queue builds up behind me?
and so on.

I'm guesisng the Classic Cappuncino rule is because flavoured syrup costs more and they were sick of people asking for "a Classic Cappucino with half a shot of syrup" and then complaining about havign to pay for the syrup...
etc.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: This is just an educated guess, mind
[info]caffeine_fairy
2008-07-16 10:41 am UTC (link)
And clearly, I need more caffeine before attempting to type...

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: This is just an educated guess, mind
[info]chibikaijuu
2008-07-16 08:07 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, the Classic Cappuccino thing bothers me a lot less than NO QUESTIONS ABOUT THE HOT CHOCOLATE, since it's very likely something like that (or the fact that a properly made cappuccino does not actually have much room for syrup, as it is a shot of espresso topped with a bunch of foam).

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: This is just an educated guess, mind
[info]caffeine_fairy
2008-07-17 10:11 am UTC (link)
The first rule of the $5 hot chocolate is, YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE FIVE DOLLAR HOT CHOCOLATE.

I dunno, maybe it's a cultural thing, but if I go into a shop and they have rules I don't like, I just go to another shop - I don't expect them to break the rules just for me. But TBH I found US service a bit over the top, to the point of even being a bit creepy.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: This is just an educated guess, mind
[info]dez_chan
2008-07-17 05:35 am UTC (link)
Yeah all of those questions are annoying, but chances are any question you're asked in the course of your day in the customer service industry (especially in food service) are going to be annoying. It's part of the job. Either suck it up and learn to answer questions (yes even questions you're constantly asked), make a pamphlet about your products (that no one will read), or get a different job. Putting up a sign that says you don't answer questions is not helpful because people will still ask questions. It's what they do; they assume it doesn't mean THEM.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: This is just an educated guess, mind - [info]caffeine_fairy, 2008-07-17 10:05 am UTC
Re: This is just an educated guess, mind - [info]dez_chan, 2008-07-17 05:16 pm UTC
Re: This is just an educated guess, mind - [info]caffeine_fairy, 2008-07-17 06:22 pm UTC
Re: This is just an educated guess, mind - [info]dez_chan, 2008-07-18 04:17 am UTC
Re: This is just an educated guess, mind - [info]caffeine_fairy, 2008-07-18 04:04 pm UTC

[info]meyerlemon
2008-07-16 11:48 am UTC (link)
I wondered ALL OF THESE THINGS. I am very happy that someone else was equally troubled.

I am really hung up on the Hot Chocolate issue. Are they making a Pulp Fiction reference? Are you allowed to ask questions about it during the months it's not offered? What if your question is just, you know, "Can I get that to go?"

???

I'm really cranky that Coffee Shop Guy didn't clarify these issues in his follow-up comment.

(And why can't you have espresso in a to-go cup?!?)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]phosfate
2008-07-16 02:19 pm UTC (link)
Obviously, because you might take it home and put ice on it.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]mer1973
2008-07-16 12:17 pm UTC (link)
I've had the five dollar hot chocolate, and it weren't that good. Actually, Giffords hot chocolate was much, much better.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]luna_hoshino
2008-07-16 04:56 pm UTC (link)
... there is a Gifford's within walking distance of my office. WHY DID I NOT KNOW THIS.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mer1973, 2008-07-16 11:41 pm UTC

[info]nonnyeve
2008-07-16 10:54 pm UTC (link)
I would never pay five bucks for hot chocolate, store bought hot chocolate always tastes like hot water with the tiniest hint of chocolate that you're not sure if you actually taste or if you're just tricking yourself.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

RECIPE TIME!
[info]dez_chan
2008-07-17 05:26 am UTC (link)
Okay, I resisted long enough.

Cribbed shamelessly from Alton Brown, homemade hot chocolate mix:

2 cups powdered sugar
1 cup cocoa (Dutch-process preferred)
2 1/2 cups powdered milk
1 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons cornstarch
1 pinch cayenne pepper, or more to taste (I don't do this part, but YMMV)
Hot water

Combine all ingredients in a mixing bowl and incorporate evenly. In a small pot, heat 4 to 6 cups of water.

Fill your mug half full with the mixture and pour in hot water. Stir to combine. Seal the rest in an airtight container, keeps indefinitely in the pantry. This also works great with warm milk.

So delicious and doesn't taste like chocolate water.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]nonnyeve
2008-07-16 11:00 pm UTC (link)
Also,
First rule of hot chocolate, don't talk about how chocolate.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

This is my first comment as an account-holder. Feel honoured!
[info]the_zaniak
2008-07-21 09:09 am UTC (link)
don't talk about how chocolate

Hilarious typo, or admirably bizarre non-sequiter?

(Reply to this)(Parent)

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