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madam_marozi ([info]madam_marozi) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2008-07-24 09:02:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Frankly, Even Canton, Ohio Is Not All That Glamorous
...or, how a throwaway line by Stephen Colbert sparked a debate on rural homozygosity.

On his July 21st show, Stephen Colbert mentioned that John McCain was going to visit Canton - "Not the crappy Canton in Georgia, I'm talking about Canton, Ohio!" The president of the Historic [crappy] Canton [in Georgia] Homeowners Association posted a snarky response on Colbert's message board daring Stephen to try and show his face at the "Mint Julep Party on the Porch" now. A few surprisingly earnest Colbert fans responded defensively and got poked with irony sticks, and a good time was had by all.

Flash forward a few days.

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution posts a brief item headlined "Stephen Colbert disses Canton." And many of the respondents here take the question of Canton, GA's crappiness very seriously indeed.

Bubba from Buckhead is quick to comment: Canton, GA? Who cares. Just a bunch of trailers out there anyway. They just got a McDonalds last week.

Canton residents find Bubba much less amusing than Stephen Colbert:

Becca: Bubba - Canton was producing a governor, printing newspapers and county seat to the northern half of Georgia when Buckhead was a wide spot in the road with a deer head on a tree. And BTW we’re “up here” not “out there” - I guess you’re directionally challenged as well as plain ignorant.

saywhat: I (and many others) would live in Canton well before I would live in Buckhead, even if they offered free housing. Besides - real bubbas don’t live in Buckhead - I know that because I used to work in that area. So I say - come to Canton - it’s much better. And no, I do not live in a trailer - but a 4,000 sft home that is a quarter of the price of one in Buckhead.

Stand Tall brings the TLDR:

We are proud Cantonians, and I will not stop until we replace all the hate that is spewed in our direction. Oh and do not forget the rich history here, we once were the silk capital of the US, hence the name Canton, as in the Canton province in CHINA! We had such quality silk that the name was a tribute to the best silk manufacturers in the world in the Far East. So Bubba, read a little history, or have someone read it for you, or better yet find one of those “pitcher books” and let your brain absorb something for a change. It may prove to be educational, but then again, in your one horse town they probably haven’t discovered books yet. So to recap, if your daddy would have just gotten off your sister, there would be one less “Bubba” to contend with, a welcome change indeed!

This final riposte raises the serious issue of whether Cantonians are more or less inbred than other residents of Georgia, and Bobby argues the contrary side:

Thank You Johnny Reb for proving my point you stupid Inbred. Go back to your inbred family in Canton and have realtions with your mom or sister, we all know its the same person anyway.

Johnny how is your sister I mean mom I mean Aunt I mean Grandmother doing. Wow how do you keep up with who your mother is with that 3rd grade education you got in Canton. Good luck this weekend at the white trash inbred cook off. I know your family is the favorite.

The Reverend Gary Lamb takes a Christian view: I pastor a church in Canton that will Rock you face off! I love this place and Steven Colbert you are no longer welcome in my town! Revolution Church Rocks!

In Town counters with a cryptic reference to arson: Canton is ignorant, redneck and lost in time. It’s that mentality that has caught up with us and why our country is falling apart. “I can do what I want how ever I want without regards to anyone else” Thanks for burning the country down, fools.



katie just wants us to know: Whatever, I grew up in canton it does suck.

ETA: He apologized! He meant Canton, Kansas. No response as yet from the Topeka paper.


(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]ladyindigo
2008-07-24 04:00 pm UTC (link)
'You dislike my city for unknown reasons so I bar you from it entirely based on my made-up authority! Look at how Christian I am! :D'

What's beautiful here is I'm sure Colbert's knowledge of Canton extends to 'oh there are two Cantons? no one has heard of either of them so let's diss the one McCain isn't in.' Good job, everybody.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]beachlass
2008-07-24 04:09 pm UTC (link)
I'm really trying to imagine a scenario in which I would say "My church rocks! GTFO my lawn!!" all in one sentence.

Y'know, that didn't involve lesbian robots.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]brennalarose
2008-07-24 08:19 pm UTC (link)
Where is your icon from? That's absurdly funny.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]beachlass
2008-07-24 08:33 pm UTC (link)
Why that would be Naruto Abridged, Episode 18.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]brennalarose
2008-07-24 08:41 pm UTC (link)
*snerk* That's amusing. Thanks!

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[info]aristaea
2008-07-24 04:44 pm UTC (link)
Everyone except maybe the HHOA president fails at getting it. His response was pretty cool. I hope it starts an official feud. That'd be awesome.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]jupiterpluvius
2008-07-24 06:26 pm UTC (link)
What's beautiful here is I'm sure Colbert's knowledge of Canton extends to 'oh there are two Cantons? no one has heard of either of them so let's diss the one McCain isn't in.'

Do you know how Stephen Colbert's comic persona actually works? Hint: you're not supposed to be laughing with him.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]ladyindigo
2008-07-24 06:29 pm UTC (link)
Well, I meant during his time at the writing table, during which he'd reason "gee, wouldn't it be just like alter-ego me to grandstand about two cities no one cares about in order to make McCain look better?" Trust me, I'm an avid Colbert viewer and I heart the man. :)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]jupiterpluvius
2008-07-24 07:52 pm UTC (link)
Got it. I misunderstood.

There's a Canton in Massachusetts, too.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]theladyfeylene
2008-07-24 10:57 pm UTC (link)
There's a Canton in Massachusetts, too.

And it's not that great, either! *grew up ten minutes away from it*

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]missa
2008-07-25 03:39 am UTC (link)
There's one in Connecticut, too!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]rimrunner
2008-07-25 06:21 am UTC (link)
So basically it's like Springfield, then?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]lirazel
2008-07-25 02:53 pm UTC (link)
Pretty much. Wikitravel.org yeilds Cantons in 20 states.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]freezer
2008-07-24 08:43 pm UTC (link)
I only know of the one in Ohio because that's where the Pro Football Hall Of Fame is.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]miss_padfoot
2008-07-25 02:56 pm UTC (link)
I love your icon so, so much. Sadface!Romo has been a source of laughter for me and my friends for years (we're Eagles fans).

(Reply to this)(Parent)


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