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Like a book club, except with more sex! ([info]notjo) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2008-07-27 13:14:00


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Entry tags:authorwank, dramatic reading, if only he ordered decaffeinated, language, my reputation takes visa, not enough wtf in the world, omg not depressing, pretention, publishing, reviews, small but tasty, uk, won't someone think of the vowels

Sorry to go on. Anger, real steaming fucking anger can make a man verbose.
(But it can't make him use the shift key consistently.)

Giles Coren would like you to know that "a" is very srs bsn:

3) And worst of all. Dumbest, deafest, shittest of all, you have removed the unstressed 'a' so that the stress that should have fallen on "nosh" is lost, and my piece ends on an unstressed syllable. When you're winding up a piece of prose, metre is crucial. Can't you hear? Can't you hear that it is wrong? It's not fucking rocket science. It's fucking pre-GCSE scansion. I have written 350 restaurant reviews for The Times and i have never ended on an unstressed syllable. Fuck. fuck, fuck, fuck.

I am sorry if this looks petty (last time i mailed a Times sub about the change of a single word i got in all sorts of trouble) but i care deeply about my work and i hate to have it fucked up by shit subbing. I have been away, you've been subbing joe and hugo and maybe they just file and fuck off and think "hey ho, it's tomorrow's fish and chips" - well, not me. I woke up at three in the morning on sunday and fucking lay there, furious, for two hours. weird, maybe. but that's how it is.


It's just his letter, but oh, it's so tasty and I love "academic" wank on a Sunday, don't you?


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[info]tangentialone
2008-07-27 07:10 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, I know. And I'm almost willing to bet that until now, absolutely nobody but him knew about his "never end on an unstressed syllable!!!" rule.

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[info]mmanurere
2008-07-27 07:37 pm UTC (link)
Just in case I'd missed something major, I started picking up books in my room (fiction and non-, mostly fairly "literary") and checking the last sentence of each -- and plenty of them end on unstressed syllables.

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[info]breecita
2008-07-27 07:46 pm UTC (link)
Great, now I'm totally going to be doing this compulsively. LOL

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[info]greenling
2008-07-29 08:33 am UTC (link)
Dunno, I vaguely recall that from listening to someone lecture about Cicero's (lengthy) rules for effective speeches. If nothing else, he probably got the idea from that, or from someone who heard it from someone (etc.) who made up something to sound more cool and Latiny.

So, y'know, just nobody in a couple of thousand years who's given half a shit, in a different language.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]bubosquared
2008-07-29 08:26 pm UTC (link)
Hm, that would make sense, actually. Which makes it even more ridiculous, since a) like you said, he's not writing in Latin, and also b) Cicero was a whingy little twerp who needed a good kick up the backside and NO I AM NOT BITTER WHAT.

*cough* Sorry about that. :D

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[info]notjo
2008-07-29 08:29 pm UTC (link)
*GLOMP*

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