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Pyrate Jenni ([info]pyratejenni) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2008-08-21 14:08:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:authorwank, baleeted, books, defensiveness ahoy, internet lawyers, magic 8 ball sez: wank again later, miss cleo told me i'm special, passive-aggressive smileys, publishing, reviews

Bad Review Tempertantrums -- Not Just for Amateurs Anymore
Over on Dear Author, Jane posts about an author overreacting to bad Amazon.com reviews

The author's fans are quick to point out that Jane is just jealous, a meanie, has no life, etc. And the author herself responds. The comments have been deleted, but [info]breecita saved them



————————————————————————-
Post 1 - Victoria Laurie

Wow! Do you need a hug, honey….you sound like the dog that got kicked and wants to bite someone just to feel better. Poor thing. Ah well, perhaps in your next lifetime you’ll come back as someone with a better outlook! :)

Oh, and in referring to your review above, not all of the clues come from the ghosties - obviously in that hour you skimmed a lot! Most of them, in fact, come from the living, (Detective Muckleroy, Nickie, Dory, Maude’s sister and the list goes on and on…really, how did you miss them? Or maybe you were just having fun whth the thrashing you were giving me?) And who specifically in my novel said, “There’s so much chemistry between you two!” Seriously, if you’re going to quote my text, it would be nice if you actually QUOTED my text! :)

Anyway, best of luck to you, doll, I’m sending you a mental hug cuz I’m pretty sure you need one. :)
————————————————————————-
Post 2 - Donna D

Also, “J”, if you disliked it so much, how on earth did you manage to read the entire book in an hour? It sounds as though it must have been quite engrossing! I, for one, thoroughly enjoyed Demons:)

Donna
————————————————————————-
Post 3 - R Golden

J. Kaplan, your review says more about you than this book. I couldn’t disagree with you more. I was sad when I reached the last page. I want to hang out more with MJ and the gang!

-Rose
————————————————————————-
Post 4 - Jenni B

I am curious as to why both reviews you have posted are negative. It would be very helpful if you had a few reviews of books you enjoyed so a person could get an idea of where you are coming from. Right now, it just sounds like you are being unnecessarily spiteful and mean. Or that you have really bad taste in books, picking “bad” ones over and over again. Again, I am interested in seeing what you qualify as a good book. Oh, and the reviews that are obviously bitter are not helpful. Negative reviews can be helpful, just when they are done in a more constructive, knowledgeable and balanced way. Thanks!
————————————————————————-
Post 5 - J Rose

I was going to try this book, but I’m always put off when I noticed the author retaliate against someone that gave her a bad review. That has turned me off from a few authors. That is really tacky. Ignoring it would have been much classier. Then I noticed that this author commented on this reviewer’s other review. This author is creepy, and not in a cool author of horror kind of way. I’m writing down the author’s name so when I hear it again I will remember to warn others.
————————————————————————-
Post 6 - Victoria Laurie

Ha ha ha ha ha!!!! Oh, J Rose! This made me laugh! I love that you’re going to write down my name and “warn others”! Ha ha ha ha! That is too precious for words! (I am just imagining you in a bookstore with a list of authors to warn people about…hilarious) I looooove it! Thanks for the giggle, girl! hee hee! :)
————————————————————————-
Post 7 - J Rose

Bitter authors are a laugh to me, so cheers!
————————————————————————-
Post 8 - Victoria Laurie

Rosey-dosey….are you cuckoo for cocoa puffs or what? :)

Oh, and dear, it’s spelled “whatsoever” not “what so ever”. Might want to grab a dictionary the next time you decide to write a one-star review - that’s right everyone - Rose likes to award the onre star to books she’s not read all the way through too! So, me thinks that her (over) reaction above was because she was feeling a tad bit self-conscious. Maybe you and J Kaplan should form a Negative Nellie’s club! Ooo! You can trade your list of authors back and forth and “warn” people the world over! “Alert! Alert! This author responds to mistruths and misquotes! Gasp! It’s the begining of the end for us allllll!” Ha, ha, ha! Yep…that still cracks me up! It’s comic gold! :)



Whiny pros! Whinier fans! Passive-aggressive smilies!

All we need is a flounce, a sobbing vow to Never Write Again, and/or a pseudocide.

ETA: Thanks to [info]carlanime, a prequel of sorts.

ETA2: Crap, wrong link, wrong potential post. If anyone wants to write up about possibly fraudelent conniving, lying, soul-bonding-is-my-religion! roommates from hell, drop a line.



(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

What Victoria Laurie might say to otf_wank
[info]caito
2008-08-22 05:33 am UTC (link)
Oh, this wank report is just too cute for words! I can imagine all you little girls, tying away furiously to each other all day over the internet! I'll send you mental hugs, my dears, because if this kind of thing is what you do in your spare time, you obviously need them. You all sound like you have sand in your vaginas, you poor dears. You need to be much more positive! It's like you're all dogs tearing apart a pillow just for fun and for spite. Maybe in a few days you'll all feel better, and come back to this, and regret how bitchy you were, and then you'll come back to me and apologize, groveling at my feet and promising to spread the news far and wide about how excellent my writing is and what a lovely, forgiving person I am. But noooooo, I shan't forgive you, nooooo, not you, you vicious bitches, you blasphemers, you bloated cows. Noooo, I don't need the likes of you to build me up after tearing me down. I will grind you under my heel, like ants, like the vermin you are, and then you will rue the day you ever thought less than flattering of me! I AM AUTHOR, I AM GOD. IT IS MINE, THE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVENESS, AND MINE ALONE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

And then I'm gonna go snuggle a puppy.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: What Victoria Laurie might say to otf_wank
[info]ellensmithee
2008-08-22 06:56 am UTC (link)
And then she'd write us all into her novels as villains, which would totally make my day.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: What Victoria Laurie might say to otf_wank
[info]brennalarose
2008-08-22 02:19 pm UTC (link)
Seconded. I have never been so glad my mother gave me a weird name.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: What Victoria Laurie might say to otf_wank
[info]dragonfangirl
2008-08-22 08:03 am UTC (link)
That... was beautiful.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: What Victoria Laurie might say to otf_wank
[info]out_bottle
2008-08-22 10:04 am UTC (link)
Tearing apart pillows is how I spend my weekends. Trufax!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: What Victoria Laurie might say to otf_wank
[info]shadowkitty
2008-08-22 06:17 pm UTC (link)
We know, Edward.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: What Victoria Laurie might say to otf_wank
[info]feenix
2008-08-23 03:38 am UTC (link)
He doesn't just do pillows, though! He does headboards! Couches! Amniotic sacs made out of vampire tissue!

A real Renaissance man, that Edward.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: What Victoria Laurie might say to otf_wank
[info]brennalarose
2008-08-22 02:20 pm UTC (link)
caito, I want to bear your offspring. You complete me.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: What Victoria Laurie might say to otf_wank
[info]pandabonzai
2008-08-23 02:43 am UTC (link)
Hearts! So many hearts for you! Both out of love and because they are the fallen enemies you've skewered with that!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


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