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	kittikattie 2008-08-28 04:46 am UTC (link)
	My thing is, he didn't mention who it was or anything. He just said a quick vignette. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sorchar 2008-08-28 04:50 am UTC (link)
	nods Yeah, but...trying to figure out how to explain what I'm thinking Like, he didn't put her name on it or anything, but even so, it's still tacky. Not as tacky as if he'd named names, sure, but tacky. Oddly, I don't think I'd think so if he'd been talking about someone who wasn't on LJ and was really unlikely to see it. I have no explanation. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

velvet_mace
2008-08-28 05:16 am UTC (link)

But people post relevant personal experiences all the time in discussions. We aren't stalkery enough to go private-eye and figure out who the vignette is about. The vignette was appropriate to the subject, so I don't see anything wrong with it. If it was just random or more detailed I'd raise a brow, but it's just a personal experience that happened to include another person.

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	sorchar 2008-08-28 05:51 am UTC (link)
	Eh, I know. It still just rubs me wrong, regardless of the girl's brand of crazy. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	ram 2008-08-28 06:31 am UTC (link)
	I agree. She seems to not be particularly bright, but he comes off as an arrogant jerk. There's a surprising amount of Lose floating around for a wank so small, straight down to the person who felt the need to metaquote his lackluster comment. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sorchar 2008-08-28 11:48 pm UTC (link)
	Right? I mean, what was funny or insightful about it? (Reply to this)(Parent)

	jat_sapphire 2008-08-28 08:35 pm UTC (link)
	But it's not really all that appropriate to a post about characters bonding deeply very quickly, not people who had known each other for a long while entering a doomed relationship because one is in love and the other lukewarm. He wants to come off as some sort of victim of his own broadmindedness, but he just looks opportunistic to me. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	velvet_mace 2008-08-28 08:42 pm UTC (link)
	He was replying to someone who had a date confess love on the first date to say, "yeah it happened to me, too." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	velvet_mace 2008-08-28 08:46 pm UTC (link)
	We going to condemn the chibikaijuu too? She did the same thing. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	alya1989262 2008-08-28 11:33 pm UTC (link)
	Well, confessing your deep feelings to someone you've been friends with for a long time is not the same thing as 'falling in love' with someone on the first date. I personally don't find it entirely unreasonable. I don't know, it looks to me like he said that where he knew she'd read it intentionally to rile her up. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

velvet_mace
2008-08-29 01:29 am UTC (link)

Woah... did we read the same thing? He's having a sideline discussion with someone who has been through a similar experience. Why is no one getting on her case about the things she said about her boyfriend?

Unless he linked her to it, there is no reason he meant this as anything other than a conversation with the person he was talking to. Fanficrants is a fast moving community, and no one reads every single post down to the comments.

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jat_sapphire
2008-08-29 05:19 am UTC (link)

Except, I'm saying, what happened to him was different. So then it looks like he's grabbing the chance to complain about the awfulness of having someone love him that he didn't find all that compelling.

For all I know, she is twice as socially inept and creeptastic as he portrayed her as being, and she certainly didn't do herself any favors pouting around the perifery of the discussion, but if the discussion is about 1st-date-glomp then an anecdote about just-a-friend-glomp is just not the same thing.

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herongale
2008-08-28 06:11 am UTC (link)

I think I know what you mean. It says something about him that he's so willing to discuss personal business like that with complete strangers, and I don't think that what it says is exactly savory.

That was not a flattering little vignette about his ex. If he cared at all about her as a person, he wouldn't say something like that in a place where she could possible see it. It doesn't matter if the whole world doesn't care. She obviously does, and I think it was also obvious that he knew her well enough that he could have predicted that reaction. It felt like he was kind of baiting her from a position of affected innocence.

Even if it was simply thoughtlessness, it's a bad habit to go around saying negative things about people you know to random strangers on the internet.

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	lady_ganesh 2008-09-20 09:30 pm UTC (link)
	Would you have read it as unflattering if you'd just read it cold, though? I thought it was pretty neutral, and unless you knew both players well enough to already know the story, I don't think you would've realized who he was talking about. It's not like 'she was my first real girlfriend' was part of the conversation until she'd brought it up. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	made_by_kali 2008-08-28 02:58 pm UTC (link)
	It's like being at a cocktail party you and your ex are invited to and telling a story about your ex loudly. Sure, the people you're talking to may not know who it's about, but it's still tacky, rude and slightly passive-aggressive if your ex could overhear it. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sorchar 2008-08-28 11:48 pm UTC (link)
	Yes! Also, ICON LOVE. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	funwithrage 2008-08-29 04:10 pm UTC (link)
	Yeah. Which--I guess it depends on whether you know your ex is invited or not. I mean, I've certainly told some stories about people I know or dated or whatever on the Internet, but not on communities I knew they belonged to. Do we know whether he had reason to think ChickBabe would be on ffr? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	chibikaijuu 2008-08-30 02:05 am UTC (link)
	I've seen her there a lot. I've only seen him there recently, or at least he's only registered on my "posts at FFR on a regular basis" radar recently. (Reply to this)(Parent)

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