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	kagutaba 2008-10-22 09:44 pm UTC (link)
	I had no idea toilet seats were such SRS BUSINESS. I really should know better by now. Everything under the sun, is serious motherfucking business. (Reply to this)

	khym_chanur 2008-10-22 09:54 pm UTC (link)
	Reminds me of this device I saw on TV years ago: it would force the toilet seat to fall if not supported, and could be lifted upright by pressing down on a pedal on the floor. When a man wanted to pee standing up he'd stand on the pedal to lift the seat, pee, and when he was done and stepped away the seat would fall back down on its own. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	issendai 2008-10-22 10:30 pm UTC (link)
	And if his foot slipped? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

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khym_chanur, 2008-10-23 12:02 am UTC

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mercorir, 2008-10-24 12:53 pm UTC

	tree 2008-10-22 11:29 pm UTC (link)
	God almighty, mhael, get off the pot! (Reply to this)(Thread)

	brennalarose 2008-10-23 01:56 am UTC (link)
	Apparently, he feels it's his doody to be a turd. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

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lobsterbomb, 2008-10-23 03:30 pm UTC

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brennalarose, 2008-10-24 03:44 am UTC

	ram 2008-10-22 11:39 pm UTC (link)
	Oh, I don't know. His face towel? Sounds like self-sabatoging to me. That's a face she's going to be kissing at some point in the very near future. (Reply to this)

lied_ohne_worte
2008-10-23 12:03 am UTC (link)

I know someone who alway closes the toilet lid and puts something heavy on top of it because he is scared of rats coming out of the toilet - he has a rat phobia and saw a documentary on how they can run through the pipes and jump out of the toilet, and now he's scared, poor man. Although that solution doesn't really help against the rat jumping out while you are using the toilet...

(Reply to this)(Thread)

	jat_sapphire 2008-10-23 01:20 am UTC (link)
	How did he ever use it then, if he had that phobia? ...wait, I don't need to know. Totally okay here, no reply needed! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	chibikaijuu 2008-10-23 01:32 am UTC (link)
	This happened to me. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

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jkefka, 2008-10-23 04:44 am UTC

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chibikaijuu, 2008-10-23 06:59 am UTC

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tofuknight, 2008-10-23 09:07 pm UTC

	moonjaguar 2008-10-23 12:39 am UTC (link)
	loquaciousquark wins for most amusing short report of 2008, Y/Y? Good lord, all this over a toilet seat? Seat up, seat down, I don't care, as long as it's free of peed-on pooped-on puked-on goo. (Reply to this)

	kaen 2008-10-23 12:58 am UTC (link)
	Everytime I see the "toilet water sprays so-many feet during a flush" statistic, I wonder if I'm the only person in the world who doesn't stand up until after flushing. Until people started talking about that, I never even imagined that other people might. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	sharps 2008-10-23 02:05 am UTC (link)
	I kept on doing that in Germany. For some reason, Germans really love toilets which flush by pressing a large flat button... placed directly at shoulderblade level, so if you lean back, FLUSH!!! It does tend to tickle. And surprise, and horrify. Never will I exit a public toilet so fast as I did the one in a literary restaurant in Nuremberg. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

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zara_zero, 2008-10-23 02:18 am UTC

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bride_of_lister, 2008-10-23 06:01 am UTC

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greenling, 2008-10-24 05:00 am UTC

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insanityprelude, 2008-10-24 09:10 pm UTC

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mary_mac, 2008-10-25 06:04 pm UTC

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dragonfangirl, 2008-10-23 07:26 am UTC

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kalika_maxwell, 2008-10-23 04:39 pm UTC

You win! -

tofuknight, 2008-10-23 09:09 pm UTC

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lots42, 2008-11-26 10:04 am UTC

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caito, 2008-10-23 05:40 am UTC

	totchipanda 2008-10-23 01:04 am UTC (link)
	I just want to know why, if a guy leaves the seat down while he pees, he doesn't wipe his own damn pee drops off of the seat. (Reply to this)(Thread)

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vzg, 2008-10-23 01:48 am UTC

Hit post too soon! -

littlest_lurker, 2008-10-23 05:23 am UTC

Re: Hit post too soon! -

chibikaijuu, 2008-10-23 07:07 am UTC

Re: Hit post too soon! -

funwithrage, 2008-10-23 12:41 pm UTC

Re: Hit post too soon! -

lobsterbomb, 2008-10-23 03:33 pm UTC

Re: Hit post too soon! -

funwithrage, 2008-10-23 04:47 pm UTC

Re: Hit post too soon! -

tofuknight, 2008-10-23 09:14 pm UTC

Re: Hit post too soon! -

moosecharmer, 2008-10-24 04:49 am UTC

Re: Hit post too soon! -

platedlizard, 2008-10-24 09:29 pm UTC

	deliciouschaos 2008-10-23 01:16 am UTC (link)
	Flouncing over a toilet debate. My life is made. (Reply to this)

	chibikaijuu 2008-10-23 01:34 am UTC (link)
	This is the most beautifully trivial wank possibly since The Great ~~Frosting~~ ~~Icing~~ ~~Frosting~~ ~~Icing~~ Sugary Cake Topping Debate. (Reply to this)(Thread)

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cmdr_zoom, 2008-10-23 01:39 am UTC

boomchish
2008-10-23 02:16 am UTC (link)

Toilet seat up or down; I couldn't care less. I'm the type who checks if the seat is up/down first before parking my ass down.

Wankage over the toilet seat being up and/or down - both LOL and saddening at the same time.

On the other hand, I'd really like it if my mom would at least close the door when she's taking a dump in the bathroom. Extra points if she could turn on the light too while she's in there when it's dark. I lost count of the number of times (in the dead middle of winter when it's freaking cold out, so I'm wearing like, two layers of long johns) where I'd make a mad dash to the seemingly empty bathroom to relieve myself, only to flick on the light and discover that my mom's already in there, dropping off logs. And then she gets mad at me for suddenly dashing in and flicking on the light without warning her.

*wipes up* Okay, I'm done. *pun intended*

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insanityprelude, 2008-10-24 09:12 pm UTC

	erototoxin 2008-10-23 02:59 am UTC (link)
	How much harder can it be to pee through the seat-lid, than to pee without it? It gives you, what, maybe a 2-inch-smaller target all around? I can see I'm going to have to quiz my husband (who NEVER LEAVES THE SEAT UP) about this. (Reply to this)

	spawn_of_kong 2008-10-23 05:04 am UTC (link)
	This? Is one of the best wank reports. Ever. (Reply to this)(Thread)

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loquaciousquark, 2008-10-23 05:06 am UTC

	aerobot 2008-10-23 06:34 am UTC (link)
	Most awesome bonus of living in a house with only one male: NEVER having to deal with this issue even ONCE in your whole life. Apparently I should expect a bad wake-up call when I have guy room mates/get a boyfriend. (Reply to this)

	theninth 2008-10-23 01:41 pm UTC (link)
	Oh just train the men to pee sitting down. Solves all the problems. (Reply to this)(Thread)

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lots42, 2008-11-26 10:02 am UTC

	zumie_ashlen 2008-10-23 03:12 pm UTC (link)
	Man, those people are really being asses about it. That man's behavior is crappy, but the woman's is downright shitty. Why can they stop being such turds and stop being so pissed off? (Reply to this)(Thread)

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dreamer_marie, 2008-10-26 03:02 am UTC

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zumie_ashlen, 2008-10-27 02:30 pm UTC

	caito 2008-10-23 03:42 pm UTC (link)
	The best part of this wank report is the OP's current mood. (Reply to this)

	queencallipygos 2008-10-23 07:54 pm UTC (link)
	It's been deleted! Huh. (Reply to this)(Thread)

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loquaciousquark, 2008-10-23 09:31 pm UTC

	shaysdays 2008-10-24 01:54 am UTC (link)
	Turns out it was an old routine by Rhonda Shears, arglebargle. (Reply to this)(Thread)

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loquaciousquark, 2008-10-24 04:06 am UTC

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shaysdays, 2008-10-24 02:31 pm UTC

	lots42 2008-11-26 10:01 am UTC (link)
	Oh, toilet seat wank. Not surprising if it causes the death of Earth somehow. (Reply to this)

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