So this one time, in fictionwriters, eggie1978 came in and posted an ad (ETA: all comments deleted, but what's this? Google Cache?) for her Official Author Website. Fictionwriters readers quickly zeroed in on the words 'fanfiction' and 'self-published' on the website, and author quickly started using the delete button on comments.

Luckily, some of the choicer parts have been saved for your amusement.



alankria: I'm British. Deadpan sarcasm is a necessity.

eggie1978: Oh, that explains it. S'okay. I LOVE Brits. Seriously. L-O-V-E. I learned so many words and phrases for my book because some characters are Brits and I had to make their dialogue more authentic. Plus, I love the country.

alankria: >.o

I didn't know being British excused being rude. Awesome!

Also, I'm curious. What parts of Britain have you visited?

eggie1978: It may be incomprehensible to some...but yeah. I let Brits slide with rudeness. I've accepted the fact that it's par of their culture. And depending on the situation, I find it quite entertaining. I'm weird like that w/ Brits. That's all I'm going to say. TMI is not good here. ;)

Anyway, I haven't been fortunate to visit England. I really, truly, hope to God, wish I could. *prays* But I enjoy British films, television shows, musical artists, and literature mostly.

alankria: ........

Inaccurate and slightly creepy Anglophile is inaccurate and slightly creepy!

andalusi: In other words, you find British accents sexy, while the British people you met found you as charming as they find US draft beer, and when they bluntly revealed your admiration was a purely one-way street, you decided that's just the ever-so-quirky UK method of showing affection.

eggie1978: Yes, I find British accents sexy. And I have some online friends who are Brits. There are also Brits at my job. Some are rude and sarcastic like you. And they tell me that's how people are in their country. So I let them slide, they can't really help themselves I guess. Or should I say, we Americans don't know how to take it. It shocked me at first. But when you told me YOU were a Brit, it explained your sarcasm. And FYI, I have a good relationship w/ the Brits I know. They don't tell me my work is 'rubbish'. And because the Brits I know online are my friends, if they don't like something...they give constructive criticism. They don't try to put me down. There's a difference. And I guess they exercise restraint in those instances and ease up on the rudeness.

eggie1978: You're putting your 2 cents in here too? Haven't you had enough too? I deleted my previous comment because I realized I was talking to the WRONG rude person. Do you think I care if people online like me? You don't know me. So I don't care if you or any others like me.


You'd think that'd be the end of it. But oh, you'd be wrong. After the bahleetion and subsequent edit on the fictionwriters post, eggie1978 thinks she just hasn't beat that horse enough yet. ETA: All locked, oh BB!



I've concluded a few things after going back and forth with the trolls and haters at fictionwriters. They are as follows:

1) I'm not really published
2) I'm not a published author
3) My book won't be sold at any major book retailers
4) I won't make any real money from my book
5) My website is unprofessional
6) Issa's design with Tristan as a fake angel is badly photoshopped
7) The 1st chapter of my book is bad
8) The summary of my book is bad
9) The fact that my story originated from fanfiction is bad
10) I've doomed myself and my career as an author by self-publishing

...

They despise me for self-publishing. They think I'm a joke. Wow, I guess all the thousands of people who self-published through Author House, Xlibris, and BookSurge are not really published authors either. They're all jokes.



lytrigian tries to reason with her, but eggie1978 is not having it, refusing advice from anyone who will not disclose the title of their own published book.

There's many more lols to be had when digging through the comment threads, so have at it!
(Credit to winterfox for supplying the caps and anglophile summary)

ETA Random Bonus Lol: eggie1978 gets pissy at someone over Jacob in Twilight ETA: Also locked! and says:
So, the hardcover copy of my book I was sending her is going to someone else.

NOOOOOES!

ETA2: ILU BB XOXOXOXO! Man, I went to a hockey game and missed all this fun :( (ETA again: Getting confused yet? Me too. This was edited from the original (so to speak, anyway. From winterfox, you sexy capper you!) to further vilify me this (thanks cazrolime!), and then locked. Can we make a drinking game out of this yet?)

ETA3: Another cap from winterfox. We are such obsessed haters. Drinking our hater-aid with rude Brits and obsessing like obsessing things.
Another screencap duo (dialup beware!) of the same post, but some extra comments, courtesy of iwanttobeasleep.