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Like a book club, except with more sex! ([info]notjo) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2009-01-21 21:22:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:at least her mommy loves her, at least it's fun to mock, not racism wank! yay, otf_wank's thoughts on weddings

I have to admit, I don't even know how to sum this up.

Bride - or should I say, former Bride - reveals her theory that Brides are the Center of the Universe

After opening with her credentials to be advising Bridesmaids, she says:

And yes, my dear ladies, being in a bridal party is a job, and I am going to tell you what to do, thus this letter. I am advocate for the Bride in your life.

And then she goes on. And on. And on. With numbering, for easy reference. And then more numbering.

The comments are a fascinating mix of "OMG! you are so right!!!" and "OMG! You are so CRAZY".

The whole thing makes me glad I eloped.
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(Post a new comment)


[info]feenix
2009-01-22 05:44 am UTC (link)
I believe this is relevant to everyone's interests. (WARNING: LJ link, so if you're still boycotting them, don't click.)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]kijikun, 2009-01-22 05:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sgtgeorgecarter, 2009-01-22 06:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonfangirl, 2009-01-22 02:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sgtgeorgecarter, 2009-01-22 04:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]platedlizard, 2009-01-22 07:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sgtgeorgecarter, 2009-01-22 08:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]platedlizard, 2009-01-22 08:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sgtgeorgecarter, 2009-01-22 09:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]platedlizard, 2009-01-22 09:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sgtgeorgecarter, 2009-01-22 10:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]brennalarose, 2009-01-22 06:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]atreyu, 2009-01-22 07:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]agent_hyatt, 2009-01-22 07:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]atreyu, 2009-01-22 09:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]platedlizard, 2009-01-22 07:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]feenix, 2009-01-22 09:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]platedlizard, 2009-01-22 10:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]feenix, 2009-01-23 09:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]delineated, 2009-01-22 08:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]feenix, 2009-01-22 09:38 pm UTC

[info]white_serpent
2009-01-22 05:52 am UTC (link)
If these were not important reasons, she would have just picked the three (or however many) prettiest ladies she knows so the pictures come out really nice. (That was a joke).

It is? My cousin did that.

But weddings are a glorious and happy time, overbrimming with happiness and friendship! :DDD

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]singe, 2009-01-22 06:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]white_serpent, 2009-01-22 07:49 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2009-01-22 07:19 pm UTC

[info]brennalarose
2009-01-22 06:14 am UTC (link)
Wow.

I thought the Knot and Indiebrides could get wanky. Whatever happened to bridesmaids just being kidnapping insurance and morale officers?

(Reply to this)


[info]poisonyoulove
2009-01-22 06:30 am UTC (link)
I’m going to number the next few topics to make this easier reading. Ways you can stress out your bride . . .

Thanks for the handy list of DOs, should I ever get roped into such a farce!

(Reply to this)


[info]caito
2009-01-22 06:38 am UTC (link)
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/bridesmaid#bridesmaids>According to Wikipedia</a>:
The required duties of bridesmaids are very limited.[11] They are required to attend the wedding ceremony and to assist the bride on the day of the wedding. Bridesmaids in Europe and North America are often asked to assist the bride with planning the wedding and a wedding reception. In modern times, a bridesmaid is also typically asked to play a role in planning wedding-related events, such as a bridal shower or bachelorette party, if there are any. These, however, are optional activities; according to etiquette expert Judith Martin, "Contrary to rumor, bridesmaids are not obliged to entertain in honor of the bride, nor to wear dresses they cannot afford."[12] If it is customary in the bride's area to have a bridesmaids luncheon, then it is hosted, and therefore organized and paid for, by the bride.[13] A junior bridesmaid has no responsibilities beyond attending the wedding.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]rachelmap, 2009-01-22 06:47 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sailorcoruscant, 2009-01-22 06:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mydemand, 2009-01-22 11:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]beccastareyes, 2009-01-22 04:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]dreamer_marie, 2009-01-26 05:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]isa, 2009-01-22 08:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2009-01-22 08:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rachelmap, 2009-01-22 11:57 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2009-01-22 12:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]finchbird, 2009-01-23 07:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]caito, 2009-01-22 06:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mpoetess, 2009-01-22 07:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kookaburra, 2009-01-22 10:59 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cleolinda, 2009-01-23 01:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kookaburra, 2009-01-23 05:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]notbulgarian, 2009-01-22 02:19 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2009-01-22 03:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]notjo, 2009-01-22 03:45 pm UTC

[info]iamnotyourmuse
2009-01-22 07:16 am UTC (link)
I love how she keeps responding "It's a rant! Not meant to be taken seriously! These are 'traditional duties' for bridesmaids!"

Even as a rant it has some pretty ridiculous expectations/instructions. 'Save your pennies' so you can buy whatever jewelry the bride wants you to wear? Yeah, no.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]eilisliana, 2009-01-22 10:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]iamnotyourmuse, 2009-01-22 03:23 pm UTC

[info]bobafeis
2009-01-22 07:45 am UTC (link)
Holy shnikeys, I was a bridesmaid in October and I did none of that. Most of my responsibilities involved "Show up to the wedding" and "You see that bridge? Go walk over to it and then stand there and smile."

I did not buy her jewelry. I didn't remember to bring pins or tampons. I didn't even show up to the shower or rehearsal dinner. I am truly a failure as a bridesmaid.

Of course, I did wear underwear, so it wasn't a complete failure.

(Reply to this)


[info]dawnswalker
2009-01-22 08:02 am UTC (link)
Does anyone else think that rant could be the script for a 1950s PSA about Wedding Etiquette?

Specifically, the kind of 1950s PSA about Wedding Etiquette that could have been savaged by Joel, Mike, and the Bots?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]napalmnacey, 2009-01-22 08:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dragonsong12, 2009-01-22 03:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]iamnotyourmuse, 2009-01-22 03:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2009-01-22 10:13 pm UTC

[info]airborne_rodent
2009-01-22 08:06 am UTC (link)
I think Miss Manners needs to slap a bitch.

(Reply to this)


[info]aerobot
2009-01-22 08:40 am UTC (link)
Frankly, 99% of this shit wouldn't happen if so many women didn't think that their weddings were going to be the BEST DAY OF THEIR WHOLE LIFE OMG. Perspective, get you some.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]kookaburra, 2009-01-22 11:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]caffeine_fairy, 2009-01-22 06:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]issendai, 2009-01-22 04:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cat_mcdougall, 2009-01-22 05:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]aerobot, 2009-01-23 05:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]plazmah, 2009-01-22 06:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jupiterpluvius, 2009-01-23 02:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]aerobot, 2009-01-23 04:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bubosquared, 2009-01-23 10:41 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sparkysrevenge, 2009-01-23 05:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bubosquared, 2009-01-23 06:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hickorydickory, 2009-01-23 07:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bubosquared, 2009-01-23 09:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]laurelin_kit, 2009-01-25 09:44 am UTC

[info]demonbean
2009-01-22 08:41 am UTC (link)
it’s now about your Bride (and her Groom etc).

Also, does this make anyone else think of the capitalization used in BDSM talk? No? Just me?

*slinks off*

(Made the article a great deal more amusing, though ... )

(Reply to this)


[info]munchkinott
2009-01-22 08:43 am UTC (link)
I'd laugh, but I've just been through most of that crap with a funeral.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]kookaburra, 2009-01-22 11:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]munchkinott, 2009-01-22 10:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2009-01-22 03:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]caffeine_fairy, 2009-01-22 06:04 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]munchkinott, 2009-01-22 10:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2009-01-22 10:41 pm UTC

[info]ghyste
2009-01-22 10:08 am UTC (link)
If her family has the ribbon plate be a bouquet not a hat, don’t make her wear it.

Admittedly I haven't been a bridesmaid since I was 5 years old, but that makes no sense at all to me and Google isn't helping.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sevendeadlyfun, 2009-01-22 02:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]beccastareyes, 2009-01-22 04:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sevendeadlyfun, 2009-01-22 05:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ghyste, 2009-01-22 04:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sevendeadlyfun, 2009-01-22 05:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]caffeine_fairy, 2009-01-22 06:06 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ghyste, 2009-01-22 07:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chikane, 2009-01-22 10:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sevendeadlyfun, 2009-01-22 10:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chikane, 2009-01-22 11:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sevendeadlyfun, 2009-01-22 11:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]notjo, 2009-01-23 03:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2009-01-23 07:14 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]notjo, 2009-01-23 03:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rewil, 2009-01-22 05:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]doyle, 2009-01-23 01:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]munchkinott, 2009-01-23 03:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ghyste, 2009-01-23 07:34 pm UTC

[info]vzg
2009-01-22 10:27 am UTC (link)
Etiquette Hell already convinced me that being a bridesmaid cannot be much fun. I need not be told the entire enjoyability of the reception relies on my being the Perfect Bridesmaid.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]vzg, 2009-01-22 10:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]julesnoctambule, 2009-01-22 05:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]waitwut, 2009-01-22 06:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]julesnoctambule, 2009-01-22 08:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]notjo, 2009-01-22 08:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]julesnoctambule, 2009-01-22 09:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bubosquared, 2009-01-23 10:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]julesnoctambule, 2009-01-23 04:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bubosquared, 2009-01-23 06:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]julesnoctambule, 2009-01-23 10:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rimrunner, 2009-01-23 04:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]vzg, 2009-01-23 04:57 am UTC

[info]harpie84
2009-01-22 10:36 am UTC (link)
Wow. just wow. I'm getting married in a few months and I wouldn't dream of asking my bridesmaids to do most, if not all, of that. Of course, I'm past 50 and am planning the Most Simple Wedding Evar - with the $25 wedding dress I found at Goodwill, etc. I don't expect my bridesmaids to spend more than I would :-) If they show up in jeans, so be it.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]notjo, 2009-01-22 03:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2009-01-22 10:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bubosquared, 2009-01-23 10:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]notjo, 2009-01-23 01:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bubosquared, 2009-01-23 01:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]notjo, 2009-01-23 01:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bubosquared, 2009-01-23 01:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]notjo, 2009-01-23 01:38 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ikuko, 2009-01-22 05:51 pm UTC

[info]mydemand
2009-01-22 11:08 am UTC (link)
Er, am I the only one here that thought it was funny and useful? I'm going to be the bridesmaid for my sister's wedding - first time being a BM ever, and I can't do anything pre-wedding because she's in Bristol and I'm hopping between Australia and Malaysia. According to her I'm the "go-to girl" for the day - i.e. the girl everyone's gonna annoy while she's getting married.

At least some of her stuff is good to know (like the survival kit). And I can see where the frustration's coming from - it's not the bridesmaids that are being married here, so (barring anything major) they should be more accommodating instead of "entitled".

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Reposted for HTML fail - [info]dragonsong12, 2009-01-22 03:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]iamnotyourmuse, 2009-01-22 03:33 pm UTC

[info]caffeine_fairy
2009-01-22 11:22 am UTC (link)
Dear Lord, how much money does she expect a bridesmaid to _spend_?

She's actually managed to go a step beyond Bridezilla and place unreasonable expectations on weddings which are nothing to do with her.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]tachikoma01, 2009-01-22 09:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bigbigtruck, 2009-01-23 03:29 am UTC

[info]tarash
2009-01-22 12:06 pm UTC (link)
Wow, am I glad my sister and my sister-in-law had weddings with none of these shenanigans. None of this 'designated' Best Man and Bridesmaids and Maid of Honour stuff, just a bit of 'okay, you carry the rings, you be the go-to person for problems', that sort of thing.

(Reply to this)


[info]dragonfangirl
2009-01-22 02:21 pm UTC (link)
I'm going to be the bridesmaid for my sister's wedding. Given that I'm in Washington and she's in Boston, all I'm expected to do is show up to one rehersal. It'll be fun!

(Reply to this)


[info]missdaisy
2009-01-22 03:48 pm UTC (link)
The second time I got married, my husband, two daughters and I planned to walk down the aisle together instead of the whole procession thing. Only my youngest daughter, who was 3, had convinced herself that we were having a wedding so she could marry her best friend and when reality set in, she started crying and wouldn't go with us. So we have these funny pictures of my husband and older daughter going down, hand in hand, all story-book like, and me lugging a crying three year old on my hip behind them.

(Reply to this)


[info]danceswithelvis
2009-01-22 04:21 pm UTC (link)
Dear God. I am soooo happy we went to Vegas to get married. (Sidenote: as fate would have it, we got married during the Adult Entertainment Awards and porn convention weekend. XD )

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]singe, 2009-01-22 10:24 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]risha, 2009-01-22 11:34 pm UTC

[info]eldritch
2009-01-22 05:18 pm UTC (link)
While we're sharing personal wedding stories, my father informed my sister and I years ago that if we just eloped, he'd give us whatever money he would have spent on our weddings.

I always figured this was a good deal.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]mary_mac, 2009-01-22 06:20 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]misswitch, 2009-01-23 02:33 am UTC
While we're sharing personal wedding stories - [info]bigbigtruck, 2009-01-23 03:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]quinctia, 2009-01-24 10:56 am UTC

[info]hallidae
2009-01-22 05:40 pm UTC (link)
This sounds a lot like one of my cousins. I spent an assload in both money and grief (For example, having to drive up from Savannah for a day in the middle of finals to get fitted for the dress, because she'd "forgotten" the fact that if she'd waited one more week, I would have been home for spring break anyway, and insisted there was no way to reschedule), because I was expected to pay for the dress and the shoes and help with the preparation, only to get cut from the wedding party because she decided she wanted one of her new college friends to be a bridesmaid, and if she added her, the number of bridesmaids and groomsmen wouldn't be even. So I was stuck with a dress, shoes, and corsage I was never going to wear (I gave the corsage to the other chick, but the shoes and dress didn't fit her), and out over $300. Nobody in the family was happy about the decision, and though I kept my mouth shut (except to rant on LJ), she got bawled out but good by the other women in the clan, including her mother and sister, for that one.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]singe, 2009-01-22 10:25 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sparkysrevenge, 2009-01-23 05:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]hallidae, 2009-01-23 05:49 pm UTC

[info]indis_earfalas
2009-01-22 05:43 pm UTC (link)
Heh. I must be getting soft or something. Most of it is excessive, sure ... but I can't help agreeing with parts.

Ultimately, is NOT about the bridesmaids, and the amount of times I've heard "I with NOT wear *whatevercolour*" ... its annoying.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]vzg, 2009-01-22 06:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]waitwut, 2009-01-22 06:50 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]funwithrage, 2009-01-23 02:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mary_mac, 2009-01-23 11:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sparkysrevenge, 2009-01-23 05:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mary_mac, 2009-01-23 05:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sparkysrevenge, 2009-01-23 05:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mary_mac, 2009-01-23 06:05 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sparkysrevenge, 2009-01-23 06:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mary_mac, 2009-01-23 06:26 pm UTC
(no subject) - ariadne484, 2009-01-23 03:35 am UTC

[info]sadisticferret
2009-01-22 07:56 pm UTC (link)
This is why, should I ever get married, I'm having a combination wedding/Halloween party, with everyone in the costume of their choosing and an open bar before, during and after the ceremony. My maid of honor will be whoever wins the drinking contest, be they male or female. Also, the ceremony will be performed by my mom as Nanny Ogg, because seriously, how cool would that be?

Also, I'm wondering what kind of traumatic experience must have led to Bridezilla here adding that underwear requirement to her list.



(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]singe, 2009-01-22 10:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chikane, 2009-01-22 10:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]anatalya, 2009-01-25 10:30 pm UTC
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