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dragonfangirl
2009-03-15 08:55 am UTC (link)

Ooh, it looks like we may get a side wank of "Lettings kids and animals come into contact is DANGEROUS! Don't you realize that lurking under the seemingly harmless interior of every domesticated companion animal is a SAVAGE, MURDEROUS BEAST who is only waiting for the RIGHT PROVOCATION to let its NATURAL BESTIALITY unleash, whereupon it will MUTILATE AND KILL any living being that happens to come near it?? You may THINK you know an animal to be harmless, but YOU ARE WRONG, because you just can NEVER UNDERSTAND the true WILD KILLER INSTICT of an ANIMAL!!!!!!"

That one's a less common nuff to CO than "I hate humans!" "I hate children" and "This animal is being abused!!!!" but I have seen it a few times nonetheless.

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criticalcricket
2009-03-15 11:04 am UTC (link)

See parents. You may think those seamonkeys will provide a moment's fascination for junior, but what lurks in that envelope of freeze dried eggs is horror unimaginable! Leave them alone together for just a second and those little brine shrimp will go apeshit and GORE little junior to death! They're animals! ANIMALS!

When I think of what happened to Jimmy. No, I can't. It's too painful. Who knew that brine shrimp could burrow into your skin, swim through your blood stream and collect in your heart until it BURSTS! Why did you create such a terrifying creature God? WHY?!

Wow...I need sleep.

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marmaladecat
2009-03-15 01:40 pm UTC (link)

You realise that if you posted the above as a "serious" comment on the wank in question you may be mocked but it would also be worth it for the high chance that a few months down the line you'd run into someone who can honestly say, and with a straight face, that you shouldn't let your kids put their fingers in the sea monkey water because didn't you know? Those things can burrow under your skin if you're not careful and you need to go to hospital to get them surgically removed.

I bet you.

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	criticalcricket 2009-03-15 03:01 pm UTC (link)
	I would lol forever. XD Can't you just see it showing up on Snopes? Now I just need a decent write up and I'll fwd it to my mom. The whole world will get that stupid thing by next week XD (Reply to this)(Parent)

	dragonfangirl 2009-03-15 07:01 pm UTC (link)
	They read it on the internets! It must be true! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	sorchar 2009-03-15 08:18 pm UTC (link)
	Don't forget that lurking under the seemingly harmless exterior of every child is AN EVIL ANIMAL-ABUSING HELLSPAWN. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	dragonfangirl 2009-03-15 10:55 pm UTC (link)
	Oh, well, that's a given. (Reply to this)(Parent)

soupspooks
2009-03-16 06:58 am UTC (link)

I have to admit, I'd rather see that sort of thing than the freaking out over the cuddly animals being tortured with Crayola. I've watched kids get dragged into streets and had a friend with facial scars because people didn't respect their dog's predatory instincts and the need to channel them with training.

On a lighter note: there's a woman in my building with a little corgi. The thing seems to love snow, and tends to go proposing in it in the winter time. It's so cute to watch it burrow in, surface, leap to a new spot and continue on. It's like some bizarre land dolphin

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dragonfangirl
2009-03-16 08:46 am UTC (link)

Well, I can see some sense in the argument. The wank I was thinking of, specifically, really got my goat because the guy was insisting that no animal, regardless of temperament or training, was ever safe; that it was impossible to train the 'murderous instinct' out of them; and that it was impossible to for a human to ever be able to read an animal's body language and that people who said they could were just fooling themselves.

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soupspooks
2009-03-16 05:52 pm UTC (link)

Oh, right! The extremist faction. I always forget about those nutterbutters. I think my brain blanks them out in self defence. Did any dudes with guide dogs rip him a new one over his idiocy? Anyone mock him over the idea that earthworms will come and strangle us in our sleep? Because there are a lot of animals out there, and there's a fair number of 'em that are completely harmless.

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	dragonfangirl 2009-03-16 08:47 am UTC (link)
	And eeee corgi! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	risha 2009-03-16 05:07 pm UTC (link)
	My miniture dauchshund does that! He also kind of looks like a land shark when there is no snow, or at least he does from my perspective when walking him. The legs are invisible at that angle, so there's just this long body sinnewing back and forth while simultaneously bouncing up and down. (Reply to this)(Parent)

napalmnacey
2009-03-17 05:09 am UTC (link)

With dogs, I'd agree that you have to be careful around them as even the sweetest dog can have a spaz. I remember my childhood friend dog having a snap at me one time, I don't remember why. It scared the shit out of me, but it was only the once and he was generally a beautiful, sweet-natured dog. Keeping an eye isn't a bad idea, but I think in the long run? The child is the one that can do the most damage.

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