|
|
agilebrit (![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} agilebrit) wrote in ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/community.gif){kind=small} otf_wank, |
Wait a minute...
Is she pitching this thing to agents already? Because, first of all, it's less than 21,000 words, which is novella territory and barely halfway to novel-length. Secondly, it's listed as "incomplete." So, if she's pitching a book that's not done yet to agents, that's kind of the epitome of Doing It Wrong.
Someone needs to sell this woman a clue. Also, badly-written book is badly-written. Less telling, more showing, plz. And present tense? No. Some writers can pull it off. She's not one of them.
*reads further* Omigawd:
It has reached the point where Rita wears the same clothes almost every time she leaves the house now, even though she detests the idea that her mother is still influencing what she wears--and even though when Elvie made the comment, Rita weighed almost fifteen pounds less than she does right now (okay, maybe twenty) so the whole ensemble is getting a little snug as well as a little worn, and even though Elvie said what she did only in the context of trying to persuade Rita to apply for some job that Elvie had decide would help Rita assert her independence, so it probably meant nothing in the first place.
DUDES. I can haz full stop, plz? I mean, okay, I've got one character who is the King of Run-On Sentences, because his brain goes a bazillion miles an hour and he never met a period he liked, but damn. I don't usually do that in the narrative unless I'm deep into POV. She's not doing that here, she's just got a 112-word sentence for no apparent reason.
Is she pitching this thing to agents already? Because, first of all, it's less than 21,000 words, which is novella territory and barely halfway to novel-length. Secondly, it's listed as "incomplete." So, if she's pitching a book that's not done yet to agents, that's kind of the epitome of Doing It Wrong.
Someone needs to sell this woman a clue. Also, badly-written book is badly-written. Less telling, more showing, plz. And present tense? No. Some writers can pull it off. She's not one of them.
*reads further* Omigawd:
It has reached the point where Rita wears the same clothes almost every time she leaves the house now, even though she detests the idea that her mother is still influencing what she wears--and even though when Elvie made the comment, Rita weighed almost fifteen pounds less than she does right now (okay, maybe twenty) so the whole ensemble is getting a little snug as well as a little worn, and even though Elvie said what she did only in the context of trying to persuade Rita to apply for some job that Elvie had decide would help Rita assert her independence, so it probably meant nothing in the first place.
DUDES. I can haz full stop, plz? I mean, okay, I've got one character who is the King of Run-On Sentences, because his brain goes a bazillion miles an hour and he never met a period he liked, but damn. I don't usually do that in the narrative unless I'm deep into POV. She's not doing that here, she's just got a 112-word sentence for no apparent reason.
Post a comment in response:
