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Avocado ([info]white_serpent) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2009-04-17 16:05:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:authorwank, elitism, publishing, special snowflake syndrome

But why isn't your book selling?
It's all the fault of literary agents, who are single-handedly destroying literature everywhere!

Excerpt:

The substantial and nearly unassailable wall that separates you from us has been under construction for decades. You can find the names of its architects and gatekeepers on your telephone-callers list, and in your email in-box. They are the literary agents—that league of intellectual-property purveyors who bring you every new manuscript you ever see, those men and women who are so anxious to gain access to the caverns of treasure they believe you sit upon like some great golden goose that they would likely hack one another’s heads off were they not united by one self-serving mission: to ensure that quality fiction never hits your desk.

Just a tiny bit of entitlement, elitism, and self-delusion.

And some responses...


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[info]kaesa
2009-04-19 12:24 am UTC (link)
(Seriously, the urban fantasy people are going to say "you got science in my werewolf fiction," the SF people are going to say "you got werewolves in my SF," and the medical thriller people are going to be saying "What the shit is this???")
What about the urban fantasy SF people who love biology but can't get into thrillers due to the disturbing lack of werewolves? Do we have to go sit with the English majors and purple?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]agilebrit
2009-04-19 12:34 am UTC (link)
You can buy the book! Or read it on my website, assuming no one else wants to publish it. Eventually.

Also assuming I can actually come up with a title for the thing. This writing shit is hard, man.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]kaesa
2009-04-19 01:12 am UTC (link)
Also assuming I can actually come up with a title for the thing. This writing shit is hard, man.
Dude, tell me about it. You've spent months putting words in order and then, when you're finished, you have to do it again for the title? I should just be able to call my current thing "Lovecraft tries romantic comedy but decides it isn't his thing. Also, there's wizards." Titles suck.

More seriously, I hope the book gets published, because it actually does sound like something I'd like to read. So good luck.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]evilsqueakers
2009-04-19 02:11 am UTC (link)
I have trouble naming my essays. Don't get me started on trying to come up with one for fiction (original or fan).

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]kaesa
2009-04-19 02:21 am UTC (link)
For some reason I am great at naming essays. I think it's because I finish writing them at three AM, when it's hard for me to concentrate on anything other than every stupid play on words and random phrase that might have something to do with what I'm discussing.

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[info]evilsqueakers
2009-04-19 02:23 am UTC (link)
Well, see...all the names I wanna use seem racy or completely school inappropriate so I have to wait until the last minute and can't question myself before turning it in.

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[info]kaesa
2009-04-19 06:37 am UTC (link)
That too! Although I don't end up coming up with the racy titles. I think probably because it's hard to make "there's a shitload of untreated sewage in Russian water, and I am going to talk about why" sexy.

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[info]evilsqueakers
2009-04-19 06:49 am UTC (link)
My last paper was on Emily Dickinson's "Wild Nights."

Racy's rather easy if you're following the feminist views.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]platedlizard
2009-04-19 02:38 am UTC (link)
I have the same problem. Lately I've started taking the main theme of my story and making that the title, which seems to work (but then all I've been writing lately has been fanfiction).

I suppose you could do that, and if you sell it you could just tell the editor that you aren't married to the working title. A lot of times the publisher will rename the book anyways, or so I've heard.

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[info]kaesa
2009-04-19 06:43 am UTC (link)
I too have been mostly writing fanfic lately. Alas, the main themes of the Lovecraft-does-romcom thing seems to be social awkwardness. Which... yeah. But if I end up writing anything original with an acceptably title-y main theme, maybe I'll try it.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]beckyh2112
2009-04-20 08:57 pm UTC (link)
Original comment removed because it occurred to me I was misreading. Still! Interested in Lovecraftian romcom! I offer cheerleading services as necessary to get the story written.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]kaesa
2009-04-20 09:44 pm UTC (link)
I didn't see anything wrong with your original comment, and really wish I hadn't accidentally implied the Lovecraftian romcom was originalfic. It's post-WWII Harry Potter fic, of all things. (All the mains are OCs, though, so there probably won't be much interest. These characters just wouldn't leave me alone.)

It's not really as Lovecraftian as it could be -- the PoV character has this great talent for ignoring things -- but it was the closest approximation I could think of, considering the genresquish involved in "this story is about teenage awkwardness, privilege, and a love triangle," and "this story is about scientific ethics, insanity, and when it is time to stop following orders," and "this story is about fungus monsters, film noir, and maybe there will be time travel."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]beckyh2112
2009-04-20 09:58 pm UTC (link)
Oooooooooooh!

I still want to read. And cheerlead. *pets shinyfic*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]kaesa
2009-04-20 11:18 pm UTC (link)
Eep. Well. I'll try to get it finished/bash it into submission after finals/graduation/ohgodtherealworld.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]beckyh2112
2009-04-20 11:28 pm UTC (link)
Whoo! *hugs*

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]agilebrit
2009-04-19 06:11 pm UTC (link)
Thanks!

Yeah, novel-length is a whole new animal for me. Even when I was writing fanfic I never approached anything of the length of this thing, and marketing it is going to be a new experience too. With short stories, you just send the whole manuscript out and give the title and length in your cover letter. With this, I have to pitch it, and summarize it somehow.

Oh, god.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]notarose
2009-04-19 07:12 pm UTC (link)
I want to read "Lovecraft tries romantic comedy but decides it isn't his thing. Also, there's wizards" so very much!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]kaesa
2009-04-19 08:50 pm UTC (link)
Well, I'm glad someone besides me is interested! If I can ever finish it, and figure out where all the subplots are supposed to fit, I will at least not have to worry about whether any publishers will buy it, because for some reason I don't think JKR would take kindly to a "tribute prequel," even if only one of her named characters is in it.

(But I will draw pictures of everybody. You know, just in case.)

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]negativecosine
2009-04-19 04:32 am UTC (link)
(This is why I'm trying to convince people to let me name other peoples' things in groovetastic ways. Apparently mostly corporations and whatnot go for that shit, especially when it can be explained with fancy linguistic terms, but, oy, I have dozens and dozens of names just sitting around waiting to be glued to something amazing...)

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]singe
2009-04-19 06:07 am UTC (link)
Also assuming I can actually come up with a title for the thing. This writing shit is hard, man.

Bah! If the 'Kitty' and the 'Gingersnaps' books can be about werewolves then you should have no problem naming your own werewolf novel. Call it 'Fuzzy Bunny' or 'Pretty Yellow Duckies' and you'll have it made.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]agilebrit
2009-04-19 05:46 pm UTC (link)
*ponders* You know, there are bunnies in this thing, and a Bunnicula joke begging to be cracked. But they're experimental animals rather than actual characters.

Some play on words with "pack," I'm thinking. I've got until May first to come up with something halfway decent...

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