Entry tags:

authorwank, elitism, publishing, special snowflake syndrome

But why isn't your book selling?
It's all the fault of literary agents, who are single-handedly destroying literature everywhere!

Excerpt:

The substantial and nearly unassailable wall that separates you from us has been under construction for decades. You can find the names of its architects and gatekeepers on your telephone-callers list, and in your email in-box. They are the literary agents—that league of intellectual-property purveyors who bring you every new manuscript you ever see, those men and women who are so anxious to gain access to the caverns of treasure they believe you sit upon like some great golden goose that they would likely hack one another’s heads off were they not united by one self-serving mission: to ensure that quality fiction never hits your desk.

Just a tiny bit of entitlement, elitism, and self-delusion.

And some responses...

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julian_black
2009-04-19 08:44 am UTC (link)

Since time began,

I can hear my former history prof heave a sigh of disgust and say, "Never, ever use the phrase 'since time began' if you want to be taken seriously. It's stupid and trite."

...writers have been trying to pass themselves off to their employers as normal human beings with little more than families, hobbies and the occasional domestic crisis or vacation to distract them from their devotion to their work.

Well, we know what she thinks of ~~the common rabble~~ ~~the grubby peons she must endure~~ so-called "normal" people, don't we?

In truth, these driven and beleaguered souls are worn nearly ragged in their attempts to support themselves and their children (and any long-suffering spouses who may still be around) while at the same time bowing to an all-consuming drive — ignored only at their peril — to create drama, poetry and prose. Their pitiful efforts to balance artistic passion with the need to earn a living leads to an emotional disintegration that is characterized by the range of pathologic manifestations of guilt, panic and despair—punctuated by brief and unfortunately unsustainable moments of elation.

Snowflake, there are medications that might be of great help help you. Look into them.

I'm an artist and a writer, which can be like a fully-loaded double-barreled shotgun of crazy. But if anyone sees me slumping wilted in a corner, exhausted from the intensity of my own passion for creation, demoralized at having to live and work among the mundane, unimaginative "normal" people who are satisfied with their dreary, soul-killing day jobs--just fucking shoot me, okay?

NOT ALL CREATIVE PEOPLE ARE SELF-ABSORBED FRUITBATS LIKE YOU. ARRRGH.

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	julian_black 2009-04-19 08:47 am UTC (link)
	*help to you, even. (Reply to this)(Parent)

wallflower
2009-04-19 09:12 am UTC (link)

Since time began,

I can hear my former history prof heave a sigh of disgust and say, "Never, ever use the phrase 'since time began' if you want to be taken seriously. It's stupid and trite."

I remember my freshman year English professor telling us, "If you ever turn in a paper that begins with a phrase like that, your instructor's immediate reaction is going to be, 'Oh great, vague crap!'"

She was awesome.

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	seiberwing 2009-04-19 04:42 pm UTC (link)
	That one and "throughout history". My American History teacher basically said he'd take fifty points off any paper that started that way. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	jupiterpluvius 2009-04-19 06:28 pm UTC (link)
	I used to hand out a list of phrases for students to avoid, including "since time began" and "in today's fast-paced society" and "a wise man once said." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	snarkhunter 2009-04-22 07:58 pm UTC (link)
	I clearly need to do this. Also to be avoided: "from the beginning of recorded/human history." (Reply to this)(Parent)

	tofuknight 2009-04-19 03:29 pm UTC (link)
	I'm willing to bet a pan-full of fresh brownies that she's one of those writers who also thinks that if she got therapy or psychiatric help she'd lose her muse. (Reply to this)(Parent)

the_emo_kitty
2009-04-20 03:45 pm UTC (link)

Since time began,

I can hear my former history prof heave a sigh of disgust and say, "Never, ever use the phrase 'since time began' if you want to be taken seriously. It's stupid and trite."

Man, this reminds me of a convo with one of my ethics professors, in which I was scoping out how he preferred our essays to be written. I innocently asked about introductions.

After a moment in which he looked deeply pained, he pressed one hand to his chest and intoned in an overly-dramatic voice, "Ever since the dawn of time, man has longed to control hand guns." Then he grinned and told me if he saw anything even vaguely resembling that, I'd fail the course completely.

He was odd, but awesome.

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