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dana
2009-06-07 09:23 am UTC (link)

Oh yeah, try reading the english translation of 'Ai no Kusabi' (a fairly popular Japanese gay romance, heavy on BDSM) which was adapted to a reasonably interesting OVA. I love the story, but the sex,, the bad writing (I've just randomly opened a page, and oh look)

The scrupulously ingrained sexual response rippled and bloomed, like a bud of spring bursting into the sunlight...But enough that the tip of his hard shaft oozed honey. The precum welled up. The furrows in his brows deepened. Iason grazed Riki's glans with the pads of his fingers, coating them with sexual juices

I could go, it continues with phrases like 'honeyed tip', ''hidden bud, 'ripe rift of his hidden flesh', 'soft inner walls', 'burning bonfires', 'rock-hard appendages' - my favourite bit is 'Riki's member, swollen to an arc, scattered drips of bliss about his feet'.

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	lollercoaster 2009-06-07 12:55 pm UTC (link)
	how sad it is that I remember which scene that last line came from (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	dana 2009-06-07 12:58 pm UTC (link)
	Haha. It's bad, and yet I can't stop reading it. I have an urge to re-write entire sections, and to edit entire sections, or just, knock out a lot of scenes which aren't needed. I'm not a writer, I wouldn't consider myself that great at it, but I'm confident I could do those sex scenes better, and that's very scary. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

lollercoaster
2009-06-07 01:11 pm UTC (link)

I've been obsessed with ai no kusabi for years now and I was so damn excited when I heard they were licensed! These books are so difficult to read, though. I could never figure out if it's a problem with the original Japanese, the English translation or both.

I'm pretty sure that if I wasn't already familiar with the story I wouldn't make it through the first book and that one didn't even have any sex scenes!

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	dana 2009-06-07 01:15 pm UTC (link)
	I heard it was fairly bad in Japanese as well, it's just the storyline that saves it, OK maybe the universe, it just need a lot of editing to cut all that rambling. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	lollercoaster 2009-06-07 01:29 pm UTC (link)
	that makes sense. After all, the disorienting and abrupt time/POV changes can't really be blamed on a bad translation. I already adore AnK but a heavily edited, non rambly AnK would blow my mind. I wish the AnK universe would be used in other works :/ (Reply to this)(Parent)

	adevyish 2009-06-07 08:44 pm UTC (link)
	I picked up the Only the Ring Finger Knows books (which was licensed by the same company as AnK), and I ended up putting those books up on BookMooch because they read like average fanfic. No sex scenes either, but bad writing + Times New Roman = ew no. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	lollercoaster 2009-06-08 01:41 pm UTC (link)
	ugh yes. The presentation is so bad. They really shouldn't be charging $9 for these things. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	adevyish 2009-06-08 09:27 pm UTC (link)
	It's really too bad, because DMP's manga division seems to have better taste. I'd been looking forward to novel translations. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	mcity 2009-06-07 02:29 pm UTC (link)
	Great. Now I'm going to be giggling all through church, and I can't tell anyone why. (Reply to this)(Parent)

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