Pet intelligence wank
The Guardian: Cats outsmarted in psychologist's test.

You can imagine how well this goes with the readers. Besides the predictable flood of pet owner butthurt and anecdotes of clever / stupid cats / dogs / mice / owls, there are plenty of genuinely funny comments as well as a side wank on the validity of test methods and statistics, obligatory calls to talk about world hunger instead or discuss the intelligence of various nationalities, and, naturally, Hitler and his pets make a bonus appearance. I think one could play classical wank bingo in here, but some of the stories make it all worthwhile.

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harukami 2009-06-20 06:17 am UTC (link)

Obligatory cat story: This one time, many years ago, I was downstairs with my cat, and my mom came to the door of my room and said, "I bought the cat some new mouse toys. If you want to give him some later, they're in the top left drawer in my desk." And then she headed off. About five minutes later, my cat gets up and trots off with obvious purpose. I wasn't doing anything, and wondered what got him so interested, so I followed him. He noticed me, but didn't slow. He beelined for my mom's office (on the second floor; my room was in the basement), went to the desk, and pawed at the top left drawer of the desk. When he couldn't get it open, he went behind the desk, pushed the top left drawer out from behind (not touching any other drawer), got the bag of mice out, and got to work on tearing it open. They weren't catnipped or otherwise obviously scented, and they were still sealed in plastic and... you tell me, honestly. (He also would occasionally steal things from bags and then close the bag behind himself, but that was a little less totally bizarre. He still obviously demonstrates a very clear understanding of human language, but with the selective hearing cats are so good at. But if my arms are full and I need him to not go out, I'll ask him to please just sit and wait and he will.) (Reply to this)(Thread)

caffeine_fairy 2009-06-20 09:32 pm UTC (link)

I once made the mistake of saying in front of my cat "Oh. Lenny never catches anything." He got up, left the room, returned 5 minutes later with a live, uninjured pigeon, which he spat out with what I can only think of as a "Ptooie" noise. He gave me a look as if to say "Let's see you do better" and retired to the top of a bookcase to enjoy the show of me trying to catch it. To bring it to the living room he had to go down four steps, down a corridor, down a flight of spiral stairs, out through the utility room, through the catflap, into the garden, over a 10 foot wall, into the park where the pigeons hung out, and then back again. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	harukami 2009-06-21 04:16 am UTC (link)
	That is one smart kitty. And he sure showed you XDDD (Reply to this)(Parent)

also_not_a_pipe 2009-06-20 05:33 pm UTC (link)

My cat understands curtains. When he wants to look out the window, he'll sit on the desk in front of the window and pretty much grope them until he finds the divide, and then he pulls one to the side with his paw until it gets pinned back by the computer monitor. He could go under them or in from the side, but no, he wants to open the curtains. My other cat once got his back foot stuck in his ear firmly enough that he couldn't get it out again without help. So. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	telegramsam 2009-06-22 09:41 pm UTC (link)
	My other cat once got his back foot stuck in his ear firmly enough that he couldn't get it out again without help Okay I'm despirately trying not laugh out loud at this image, lest my co-workers discover I'm dicking around on the net rather than working ATM. XD (Reply to this)(Parent)

	kefanii 2009-06-21 04:50 pm UTC (link)
	Obligatory cat story: My cat is usually a bit of a doofus, but he has a sadistic streak. He's learned the best way to get my dad awake and out of bed (though he often gets tossed off the bed for it): go into the litter box, scratch around loudly, then jump up on the bed and gently touch my dad's lips with his paw. It always gets a response! (Reply to this)

	taktuk 2009-06-24 03:35 pm UTC (link)
	This is the most awesome set of comments I've read in ages! ...and I'm allergic to animals. I swear, the Great DM in the Sky hates me. Or maybe it's my Player. 's not like I got extra feats or merits out of all my flaws. (Reply to this)

	redwarrior 2009-06-29 10:15 pm UTC (link)
	I think that deep down that this is a test of social intelligence, which humans and dogs are good at. The cats had to pick up on cues from the experimenter, sounds like. And we all know that that is not a cat's strength. Cats are loners, almost (in human terms) autistic. (I don't know of a better word, so please don't throw Internet tomatoes at me.) (Reply to this)(Thread)

	ilpalazzo 2009-07-16 04:34 pm UTC (link)
	So what you're saying is that they interrogated those cats from the wrong perspective. (Reply to this)(Parent)

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