Pet intelligence wank
The Guardian: Cats outsmarted in psychologist's test.

You can imagine how well this goes with the readers. Besides the predictable flood of pet owner butthurt and anecdotes of clever / stupid cats / dogs / mice / owls, there are plenty of genuinely funny comments as well as a side wank on the validity of test methods and statistics, obligatory calls to talk about world hunger instead or discuss the intelligence of various nationalities, and, naturally, Hitler and his pets make a bonus appearance. I think one could play classical wank bingo in here, but some of the stories make it all worthwhile.

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evilsqueakers
2009-06-19 06:47 am UTC (link)

Well, there's my cat Teyla.

My power went out a couple months and I needed, to you know see, so I just went to my mom's. So I ended up with only cat carrier since I'd never taken both anywhere before. I've got Noelle in one and so I find a box because it's getting dark and the power's out. I get a box, put Tey in, thinking she couldn't get out. Get them and me all loaded up. I bookended the box so she could breathe since I was out of tape in a another box.

Okay, so we're on our way in traffic hour. I get not 10 minutes from my house when I hear her getting out. Well shit, I might as go since it's only about 15 minutes more. Except my cat, smart one that she is, thinks it's more fun to go wandering. In a moving car. I was stopping suddenly because of traffic hour. Okay, 10 more minutes and I'll be there. I couldn't get there. I started to worry when she was climbing over everything and sitting in the windows, watching the world go by. I had to turn around and leave her there overnight in the dark while I took my other cat and myself to some place I could see in.

The cat had perfect balance over a big cat carrier (made for a medium sized dog), laundry bag, laptop carrier, weird backseat positions. And the whole time, she's just completely chill, chirping at the people flying by.

I have special children, I do.

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