Pet intelligence wank
The Guardian: Cats outsmarted in psychologist's test.

You can imagine how well this goes with the readers. Besides the predictable flood of pet owner butthurt and anecdotes of clever / stupid cats / dogs / mice / owls, there are plenty of genuinely funny comments as well as a side wank on the validity of test methods and statistics, obligatory calls to talk about world hunger instead or discuss the intelligence of various nationalities, and, naturally, Hitler and his pets make a bonus appearance. I think one could play classical wank bingo in here, but some of the stories make it all worthwhile.

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Cat story!

bobafeis
2009-06-19 06:53 am UTC (link)

So, I just got a new kitten (Kniggy) a month or two ago. I have another cat (Foof), who is now a rather crotchety old man. This is the journal entry I wrote describing their first meeting:

Me: Hey, Foof, meet your new friend!
Foof: *Hisshiss* Oh, what the hell, I don't really care. I'm going to nap, wake me up when it's gone.
Kniggy: Are you my mommy?
Foof: No.
Kniggy: Are you sure? You're an effeminate cat who's orange and several times my size, just like mommy!
Foof: Go away.
Kniggy: Mommy, I'm hungry.
Foof: So what? I can't do anything about - OH MY GOD, DO NOT PUT YOUR HEAD THERE! HAVE YOU NO DECENCY?!
Kniggy: Mommy?! Why are you hitting me?!
Me: Okaaaaay. It's time to separate you two, isn't it?
*Kniggy retires to the bathroom, where he is provided with food and water and milk and toys*
Kniggy: Mommymommymommy!
Foof: *sulk*
Kniggy: MOMMY!
Foof: *snore*
Kniggy: Where is mommy? *escape from bathroom*
Foof: *snoresnoresno-* BAD TOUCH! BAD TOUCH! *hides face in shame*
Kniggy: D:

The only reason things have improved in the past month or so is because Foof now sleeps on his stomach instead of on his side.

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	Re: Cat story! felinephoenix 2009-06-23 10:14 pm UTC (link)
	That was great. :3 Reminds me of how some of our male cats would let kittens "suckle" if their mothers were busy. They were too tired to stop them, I guess. (Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Cat story!

vzg
2009-06-28 09:14 pm UTC (link)

My dogs were similar! We got Mr. Bojangles, whose mother was a Golden Retriever, and still had Farley, who was, yes, a Golden. Bo was convinced Farley was his mother, much to Farley's irritation.

Farley got back at him by being tricksy when rawhide chews came into play, though. He'd pretend he needed to go out, and then when Bo, who loves the outdoors, would run to join him, he'd suddenly decide he didn't need to go out after all and get the remains of Bo's chewie. Bo could never figure it out, though he was pretty smart in other ways.

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