(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

Re: Might get some negative feedback on this, but...

silrana
2009-08-04 12:25 pm UTC (link)

I don't think saying that someone who eats a very large amount of high calorie food then complains about not being able to loose weight is ignoring their own contribution to the situation is being an asshole.

I have to take a big handful of pills every morning, and one of them causes my body to fight losing weight tooth and nail. My doctor hates having to give it to me, since I'm about eighty pounds overweight, but the other medicines in that same classification make you *gain* weight, so that's the best he can do.

So do I throw up my hands and declare it impossible? No, I've just been trying to make small changes. My salt cravings won't let me pass up potato chips, but I *can* pass up the dip. I can walk up stairs instead of taking the elevator one floor at work. I can have broiled chicken instead of barbecue. And I've been losing about, oh, a pound a month. But that's good enough, because slow changes will work a lot better in the long run than diets, which have never worked in the past. I just spend the whole diet fantasizing about the foods I can't eat and then go nuts after I get off of it. I think a lot of the problem with the issue is that when people say, "I can't lose weight," they mean they can't lose weight fast. I used to have that mindset, too.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Might get some negative feedback on this, but... puipui 2009-08-04 04:27 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you for sharing. Also, "lose" has one 'O'. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Might get some negative feedback on this, but... silrana 2009-08-04 05:50 pm UTC (link)
	Yeah, I shouldn't post first thing in the morning. Typos always slip in. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: Might get some negative feedback on this, but... ariadne484 2009-08-04 04:37 pm UTC (link)
	Clearly, that makes you morally superior to every other fat person, who could be a size 4 if we'd just try hard enough. Never mind what else we might want to do with our time and energy. Enjoy your virtue and wonderfulness! It's its own prize. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Might get some negative feedback on this, but...

silrana
2009-08-04 05:49 pm UTC (link)

See, there's what I was talking about in another post. "Lose weight" somehow automatically gets translated as "Set impossible goal to become model thin."

I think the first thing that needs defining is what kind of weight level are we talking? If someone just looks a little chunky in a swimsuit and sees no reason to change, then it's no big deal. But I think a lot of harm is done by repeating mantras that encourage people who have weight levels that pose a health risk to them to think that they can do nothing to change.

You want to know what my goal is? To lose twenty pounds a year. At that rate I just might have a good shot at living long enough to see my kids get out of college. Fuck models, I'm interested in survival.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Might get some negative feedback on this, but... risha 2009-08-04 06:01 pm UTC (link)
	So what happens when you fail to lose and/or maintain that 20 pounds a year? Is all of your hard work improving your health somehow negated and you drop dead at graduation? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Might get some negative feedback on this, but...

silrana
2009-08-04 07:05 pm UTC (link)

To give your question a serious answer rather than snark at you for being flippant about my health, I hope I don't find out. Because without the weight loss my health won't get any better. All the leafy green veggies in the world won't matter a bit if my damaged heart decides it's really tired of pumping blood for an oversized body. Or if my liver and kidneys are damaged from the pills I have to take for my condition - which would have much lower doses if I weighed less.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Might get some negative feedback on this, but...

risha
2009-08-04 07:18 pm UTC (link)

I apologize for accidentally being flippant about your health and life. I was trying for a serious question, but phrased it in a really snarky way, probably out of habit for this community.

As I said below, I don't think we'll reach an agreement on this, since we're working from a very different base assumption. I hope your health improves, no matter which of us is correct. (I do worry about your mental health if it turns out that I'm the correct one, but I'll drop this now.)

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Might get some negative feedback on this, but...
ariadne484
2009-08-04 06:05 pm UTC (link)

I think the first thing that needs defining is what kind of weight level are we talking?

Whereas I think the first thing that needs explaining is why, whenever someone brings up fatphobia, other people rush in to explain how easy weight loss is, with the clear implication that fatphobia is totally acceptable because weight loss is a choice.

But I think a lot of harm is done by repeating mantras that encourage people who have weight levels that pose a health risk to them to think that they can do nothing to change.

And I know a lot of harm is done by a society that convinces fat people that we're worth less as human beings, and gives everyone else carte blanche to treat us badly.

You want to know what my goal is? To lose twenty pounds a year.

And may that goal continue working for you! I'm not being sarcastic, either. My goal, such as it is, is to be happy, to be a foodie, to not have to eat chicken breasts when I prefer the thighs, to live until whenever I die. For me, constant dieting wasn't living.

I hope you see your kids graduate. I also hope they're not making their fat classmates' lives as hellish as my own grade school experience.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Might get some negative feedback on this, but...

silrana
2009-08-04 06:37 pm UTC (link)

When did I ever say it was easy? I *love* food. I adore food. While I don't have a sweet tooth, I have a huge salt tooth, so no bag of potato chips within range is safe. I completely agree that a life of dieting is no fun at all. What I said was that lifestyle changes are *possible*.

I have found for me, the key is moderation and tweaking. Some things I won't give up. I have yet to find a low-fat cheese that doesn't taste like the wrapper it is in, so I eat the good stuff. I just eat less of it. And I try to be creative. Instead of fried or BBQ chicken wings, I dust them with Season-All and broil them. They're delicious, and a far amount of the fat runs off, instead of more being added. It is a healthy dish? Not really, but it's health-ier.

And I understand what you mean about society. I've been overweight for decades. I've yoyoed so many times I get motion sickness just thinking about it. I grew up with one of those "You'd be so pretty if you lost weight" (translation: you're fat and ugly) mothers. I am not brushing off the terrible pressure people get from society. But when there are bigger pressures - mortality - you see things a bit differently.

Again, I'm not trying to make people who maybe have some love handles feel like dirt for not working tirelessly to make them go away. Live is too short to worry about little things like that. What I'm trying to say is that there are a lot of people who have weight levels and lifestyles that are dangerous to them, if not now then in the long term. As I said in another post, I'm 5'2" and weigh 200 lbs. Nobody would look at me and think I just need to skip the pizza once in a while. I'm in for years of making little adjustments here and there to try to get to something approaching healthy.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Might get some negative feedback on this, but...

mindset
2009-08-05 01:39 am UTC (link)

I hope you meet your goal too. My mother did not lose weight, despite how she tried, and as a consequence developed a hernia that eventually basically killed her. She didn't live to see the weddings of any of her children.

I'm all for fat acceptance when health is not on the line. When it is on the line -- and the line does vary greatly from what is commonly assumed -- I am never going to tell people off for sharing their tips. God knows I'm ranging close to obese myself and it's really starting to bother me, but then I haven't made an effort to get healthy recently either (which also bothers me greatly, but that's my problem).

I might tell people off for sharing their tips in FW, though. Sigh, this community...

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Might get some negative feedback on this, but...

risha
2009-08-04 04:47 pm UTC (link)

Accompanying protip: "lifestyle changes" = "diet and exercise" for 99% of people. (That 99% number is the only one I pulled out of my ass.)

Seriously, I think that I'm starting to come off as an obsessive whackjob in this post. I just hate to see people deliberately set themselves up to hurt themselves down the line. Eating well on average and getting regular moderate exercise equals a reduction of all sorts of risk factors for the so-called obesity related diseases down the line. But far too many people, after they gain the weight back, decide not to do those things anymore because they "failed", with a bonus side of crushingly low self esteem.

Another protip: being fat or not is not a moral issue. Access, time, and inclination to exercise, eat food that is good for you, and get adequate medical care can be political, economic, and social issues, but are also not personal moral issues.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: Might get some negative feedback on this, but... sneer 2009-08-04 06:19 pm UTC (link)
	My salt cravings won't let me pass up potato chips Do you need a minute to figure out why saying this makes you a hypocrite? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Might get some negative feedback on this, but... silrana 2009-08-04 06:42 pm UTC (link)
	How is it hypocritical for me to say how hard it is for me? What would be hypocritical would be for me to act like it's as easy as skipping through daisies when I know full well how much I struggle and fail. But falling down doesn't make the goal not worth working for. It just means I have to dust myself off and get back to trying. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: Might get some negative feedback on this, but... sneer 2009-08-04 07:49 pm UTC (link)
	So choosing to eat potato chips instead of salty foods that are better for you is okay, but someone who says "I cannot lose any more weight without doing stupid, dangerous shit" is just making the wrong lifestyle choices. Gotcha. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Might get some negative feedback on this, but...

silrana
2009-08-04 09:33 pm UTC (link)

The potato chip remark was just a recognizion of hard it is. I'm human, I'm not perfect, and I certainly don't expect other people to be. I make bad choices. Eating potato chips isn't good for me, but it's a step up from eating them slathered in dip, which is what I used to do. I was using that to demonstrate a change. Will it solve all my problems? Hell, no. Is it the best I can do? Nope. But it's a step. You know what they say about the way to eat (or uneat, in this case) an elephant.

I'm not saying that you or anyone else is making wrong lifestyle choices. I'm not talking right or wrong, I'm talking *different* depending on what your goals are. If a person is happy with the way they are, then great. I'm very happy for them. But what started my ranting was people saying it couldn't be done, and I intend to do it.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

(Read comments) -