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Re: Might get some negative feedback on this, but...

silrana
2009-08-04 07:21 pm UTC (link)

First off, not trying to be snarky, but you don't know my medical history, or my doctor, who is one of the best in my area. And I would say that the head of the endocrinology department of the Mayo Clinic is up on his reading, too.

And second, I think we may have different definitions for weight loss. If you only define it as dieting and strict regimens, then I agree with you, most people will fail. But I do not buy that permanent weight loss is not possible through incremental lifestyle changes. If I did, I might as well put a bullet in my head now because losing a portion of my excess body fat is the only way I'm going to survive very long.

As for your other points, I can only give you my purely anecdotal experiences. I had to have emergency surgery in college, and it happened right after I had lost about thirty pounds. The surgeon told my parents that if he had had to take the time to cut through the fat layers (I am one of those people who carry most of their fat on their belly) I probably would have died. And of my relatives, the ones who are thin tend to live to around 80, the overweight ones to their early to mid sixties. As I said, purely anecdotal, but that's the way it has been.

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	Re: Might get some negative feedback on this, but... sneer 2009-08-04 07:55 pm UTC (link)
	You don't know any of OUR doctors or medical history either. I'm just sayin'. (Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Might get some negative feedback on this, but...

darkrose
2009-08-05 11:09 am UTC (link)

And of my relatives, the ones who are thin tend to live to around 80, the overweight ones to their early to mid sixties. As I said, purely anecdotal, but that's the way it has been.

If we're talking anecdotal evidence, then I can point to my family as the opposite: no one on my father's side of the family, which is the skinny side, has lived to 65. My father was 49 when he died. My mother's 73, and while she has plenty of health issues, I think that a lot of them are rooted in the fact that she yo-yo dieted all throughout my childhood.

I'm heavier now than when we last saw each other. My blood pressure's also lower; my sugar's good, and I'm not banging my head into walls. I was 100 pounds lighter than I am now when I was regularly recording blood pressure counts of 160/115. Not coincidentally, that was around the time I had a full-on nervous breakdown. For me, the real killer isn't weight--it's stress. I'd like to be in better physical shape and to generally be a little more active, and maybe eat a little better, but the minute I start thinking "I have to lose weight", I get stressed, and the downward spiral starts.

I know you've had medical hell, and for you, weight loss may be the top priority for helping you stay healthy. But that's not going to be true for everyone, and that's why comments that imply that a) being fat is the worst thing ever and is going to lead to my imminent demise and that b) anyone can lose weight if you just get off your fat lazy ass and exercise touch a nerve.*

(*I'm not saying that's what you said, BTW--but when so much of the discourse around weight is fat-shaming and framing weight as a moral issue, I know I hear that sometimes even when it's not intended.)

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Re: Might get some negative feedback on this, but...

silrana
2009-08-06 03:23 am UTC (link)

I'm heavier now than when we last saw each other. My blood pressure's also lower; my sugar's good, and I'm not banging my head into walls. I was 100 pounds lighter than I am now when I was regularly recording blood pressure counts of 160/115. Not coincidentally, that was around the time I had a full-on nervous breakdown. For me, the real killer isn't weight--it's stress. I'd like to be in better physical shape and to generally be a little more active, and maybe eat a little better, but the minute I start thinking "I have to lose weight", I get stressed, and the downward spiral starts.

I'm heavier too, though I'm not sure by how much. Geez, I just realized how long it's been. Back then both my girls could sit in your lap, and now Daughter No. 1 is a head taller than I am. But I know how much you've had to fight stress, and the last thing you need is more. I'm at a different point on the loop - when I get stressed, my instinct is to turn to food, which sure doesn't help anything.

I know you've had medical hell, and for you, weight loss may be the top priority for helping you stay healthy. But that's not going to be true for everyone, and that's why comments that imply that a) being fat is the worst thing ever and is going to lead to my imminent demise and that b) anyone can lose weight if you just get off your fat lazy ass and exercise touch a nerve.*

(*I'm not saying that's what you said, BTW--but when so much of the discourse around weight is fat-shaming and framing weight as a moral issue, I know I hear that sometimes even when it's not intended.)

*sigh* No, it wasn't intended, but reading over my comments with the clarity of a handful of painkillers in my system, I sure sound like that's what I meant.

I do think that it's possible to make lifelong changes. But I mean that in the same way as saying that climbing to the top of a mountain is possible. It's not something that everyone should do or needs to do or will derive any benefit in doing. And I don't see a moral difference between a mountain climber, someone who doesn't want to climb any mountains, and someone who says, "screw that, it's dangerous." One is not a better person than the other.

But that analogy has an obvious flaw. In the real world, except maybe in a family of sherpas, nobody gets flack from their family and society about, "Why aren't you climbing any mountains? You could if you just applied yourself. Why can't you be more like (insert name of sibling who doesn't need to climb and can float to the top)?"

And I confess I wasn't thinking about that. My medical issues have been so all-consuming the past few years that things like body image and social pressure have sort of disappeared off my radar. But that's not the way it is for most people. In forgetting that and seeing things only through the prism of my own concerns, I was insensitive to other people's problems and struggles. I'd like to apologize for that. Everyone who was pissed off at me, you had every right to be, because I was coming off as a clueless prat.

The only defense I can make for myself is the last few days I've been going through a particularly nasty pain spell, and when that happens I can sometimes get a little nuts. I swear, I think somewhere deep in my brain the crazy part thought, "Home? No, love family. Work? No, need job. Flail idiotically on the internet? That's it!"

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