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Ilpalazzo ([info]ilpalazzo) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2009-08-18 23:53:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:my kingdom for a link

Seattle vs. Bad PR: FIGHT!
Ah Seattle, my wanky home.

This one's just a little niblet, but it is a wank so perfectly formed in miniature that I can't help but show it off.

fuzzinit makes a post in the Seattle comm advertising his little home-based business featuring high-tech spy equipment and self-defense weapons and, apparently, chastity belts. Screencap here.  fuzzinit, in so doing, breaks a handful of comm rules and is told so, and begins deleting comments which harsh his groove willy-nilly. O noes! Post swiftly disappears.

Helpful community member creates second post where people can freely discuss fuzzinit. With breathtaking efficiency and elegance, fuzzinit goes through the Seven Stages Of Wank straight through I DIN' DO NU'IN to a really nifty double flounce in about five posts. But hey, despite doing everything wrong, he got hits! And hits are what's important, right?

...The Seattleites are still chewing on him a bit, since despite the fabulous flounce he's still trying to cling to the moral high ground. And on that moral high ground is a big ol' knife and night-vision goggles!

ETA: Huzzah, I post this and then go off hiking for a day and come back to discover I've completely failed! Links should be fixed, on the off chance that you have not already taken advantage of helpful commenters covering my ass.

ETA 2: HOLY CRAP THERE'S A SEQUEL! More like a parody. Maybe an homage. At any rate, stutts whips it out and the love flows like wine. Our city-hopping small businessman is revealed to be a true nationwide phenomenon!



(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]white_serpent
2009-08-19 05:09 pm UTC (link)
Well, here's the second post.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]persona
2009-08-19 06:33 pm UTC (link)
Man. That was classic. Is it in the water? I seem to remember a few Seattle wanks along these lines...

Why doesn't the Chicago community ever get epic fights like this? The most we get is the moderator yelling at people who forget to tag their posts. Not nearly as entertaining.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]atreyu
2009-08-19 08:16 pm UTC (link)
I think it's because every Seattleite believes something slightly different and we all think everyone else is nuts.

Well, they are.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]doomsday
2009-08-20 03:45 am UTC (link)
That's seriously your take on the matter? Psh, weirdo.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]evilsqueakers
2009-08-22 09:37 pm UTC (link)
Well, the Atlanta comm is mostly overrun with a couple of trolls that derails any important post in order to be an asshole.

You can have ours.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]spacelogic
2009-08-20 04:44 am UTC (link)
Ahahaha, he posted it in the Las Vegas and Kansas City comms too?

Friendly Local: you're doing it wrong.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]somnambulicious
2009-08-21 01:05 pm UTC (link)
Oklahoma City, too.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


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