I felt Cheesel’s pain when he had to reveal his dark secret (but hey, he had to - he turned into a gerbil while they were having oral sex - I mean, a girl usually notices when she has a gerbil in her mouth

What does it say about me that my first thought was, "At least their positions weren't reversed"?

Not that discovering I had a gerbil peen in my mouth would be all that fabulous either...