Your bushes look like stupid lollipops
If you need to borrow money from your neighbor but didn't get along with him too well, would you:
(a) Catch him on the street and ask him politely if he'd lend you a few bucks
(b) Knock on his door with a nice big slice of pie
(c) Tear out a sheet from your notepad and write a rambling, incoherent note to him in which you call him a whore and insult his shrubbery?

Link to the original note!

A transcript:

Carl

You make me sick. Your fancy house all that driveway, wowwy so long. Vacation wherever you want. Your bushes look like stupid lollipops, who does that anymore other than spoiled jerks with no taste.

I thought we were friends, when I had a job, right? I asked you to lend me money you said no. I was drinking, so what. I wasn't using so much drugs anymore. So what I had tires on my yard whats wrong with that? Those girls weren't hookers, they were friends much better friends than you, you're just a whore, a male whore. A more.

I can't stand you. You make sick.

~~Please~~ I still need the money. Will you lend it to me? I will remove the tires, also the dishwasher.

Your ~~friend~~ friend
Steve

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duende
2009-10-22 10:53 pm UTC (link)

This note actually reminds me of HOWL.

ah, Carl, while you are not safe I am not safe, and
now you're really in the total animal soup of
time
and who therefore ran through the icy streets obsessed
with a sudden flash of the alchemy of the use
of the ellipse the catalog the meter & the vibrat-
ing plane,
who dreamt and made incarnate gaps in Time & Space
through images juxtaposed, and trapped the
archangel of the soul between 2 visual images
and joined the elemental verbs and set the noun
and dash of consciousness together jumping
with sensation of Pater Omnipotens Aeterna
Deus
to recreate the syntax and measure of poor human
prose and stand before you speechless and intel-
ligent and shaking with shame, rejected yet con-
fessing out the soul to conform to the rhythm
of thought in his naked and endless head,
the madman bum and angel beat in Time, unknown,
yet putting down here what might be left to say
in time come after death,
and rose reincarnate in the ghostly clothes of jazz in
the goldhorn shadow of the band and blew the
suffering of America's naked mind for love into
an eli eli lamma lamma sabacthani saxophone
cry that shivered the cities down to the last radio
with the absolute heart of the poem of life butchered
out of their own bodies good to eat a thousand
years.
and by the way, Carl, you chicken shit
I will sacrifice those lawn decorations, let them be
martyred on your behalf, you fucking Caiaphas of
the dishwasher which is an heirloom you know,
and I will crucify those tires if you will lend me
the dough.
Love and kisses, Steve

(Reply to this)(Thread)

	dragonfangirl 2009-10-23 12:49 am UTC (link)
	...what on earth is that? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	theelusiven 2009-10-23 01:42 am UTC (link)
	Allen Ginsburg + a lot of pot. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	duende 2009-10-23 04:31 am UTC (link)
	A really, really, really obscure reference no one else reading this thread is likely to understand, much less find funny. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	wankaholic 2009-10-23 06:10 am UTC (link)
	Aww, I giggled! :D (Reply to this)(Parent)

	theelusiven 2009-10-23 06:19 am UTC (link)
	It's not that obscure; I totally got it. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	rachelmap 2009-10-23 06:34 am UTC (link)
	I got it. But then, I like They Might be Giants. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	atropos_lee 2009-10-23 12:05 pm UTC (link)
	I laffed. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	lady_ganesh 2009-10-23 03:32 pm UTC (link)
	I laughed. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	wankismyfandom 2009-10-23 07:51 am UTC (link)
	I SHRIEKED laughing. Where would you like your internets shipped? (Reply to this)(Parent)

	bienegold 2009-10-23 12:05 pm UTC (link)
	You are amazing. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	bigbigtruck 2009-10-23 03:25 pm UTC (link)
	sends you an FTD bouquet of internets (Reply to this)(Parent)

	deadrose 2009-10-25 04:10 pm UTC (link)
	I got it and laughed. Of course, when we had to memorize and recite a poem in high school, I did one of Ginsberg's shorter poems, "A Supermarket in California." Teacher thought it was a nice change from hearing all the thumping iambic pentameter, got an A on it. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	chibikaijuu 2009-10-27 05:43 am UTC (link)
	Oh God, I laughed until I choked. (Reply to this)(Parent)

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