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Cesare ([info]cesare) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2009-12-14 17:45:00


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reviewer's of this ilk
Why should [info]fandom_wank have all the fun? This gem was reported on Dear Author, a romance novel review site, second story in the post.

The action takes place in the comments section on L. B. Taylor's customer review of Electra Galaxy's Mr. Interstellar Feller by Candace Sams. The review is titled "save your money" and concludes, "All over a sad excuse for romance, mystery, and humor. Save your money, you've been warned."

"Niteflyr One" comments on the review: "It looks like this reviewer has something personal against the author. Apparently, he/she doesn't know that most titles of this kind are written to please an editor these days and the editors are sometimes wrong in asking authors to re-write to 'their' specifications. But this review was more a diatribe on a comparison of 'other' stories the reader liked as opposed to reading the title and reviewing based on the new kind of work that it was meant to be."

Read it well, for these leitmotifs will recur for the next fifteen (and counting!) pages of comments: everyone who argues with Niteflyr has a grudge against her-- oh yeah, spoiler alert: Niteflyr is Candace Sams, the author, who'd have seen that coming-- personally and/or professionally; it's all the editor's fault for controlling the book down to the last micron; regardless of editorial tampering, though, people who don't like the book are just idiots.

As Niteflyr further puts it, "Even the lion has to defend himself against flies."

Another highlight comes when Courtney Milan comments, "I am an author--a debut author, no less--and let me assure you, I have control over the content of my book. Lots of it. Sometimes my editor will say, "This isn't working for me," and we'll figure out why and how to make it a better book. But I am the one doing the writing, always, NOT my editor. She edits, and does a darn good job of pushing me to write the best book possible, but I write it."

Niteflyr replies, "Good for you, Courtney...what New York publisher are you with?" and later, "Good for her...come back when she's published thirty novels like me and has done business with Dorchester". Apparently, the more novels you write, the more control the editors exert?

If you read this, get used to those repetitions and ellipses. There are lots of ellipses. And watch for other classic wank maneuvers you'll find along the way, including You're Just Jealous, You're All In On It, and The Lurkers Support Me In Email. Also keep an eye out for the glorious moment when she tells commenters they'd need Hooked On Phonics to be able to read her work.

One last treasure from Niteflyr: "Why not go after ST. Nick since you're all in such a festive mood." Hey, good idea. Has he written any shitty romance novels we can review?


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[info]tangentialone
2009-12-18 10:26 am UTC (link)
Euch. What's 'with' the 'scare quotes'(?) that she litters 'throughout' her comments? At first I thought it was some kind of bizarre way to denote italics (I guess because wiki markup uses '' pairs for italics and I'm used to using it when I edit), but that doesn't quite seem to be the case.

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