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	wisdomeagle 2009-12-17 07:51 am UTC (link)
	I went to a very earth-crunchy hippie seminary with a large Unitarian Universalist population. Once one of my UU friends was walking across the quad and jokingly ordered the weather to change -- I think she wanted it to be warmer. A professor heard her and, dead-serious, asked, "Do you believe you can control the weather in your tradition?" (Reply to this)(Thread)

major_fischer
2009-12-17 08:32 am UTC (link)

I love the UUs, but sometimes I want to slap them. Out of love. But than again I'm a John Shelby Spong school of Episcopalian so I know there are a lot of people out ther that would view me the same way that I view the UUs.

So I share two jokes told to me by UU ministers...

What do you call an Episcopalian? A Unitarian who likes perades.

There once was a Roman Catholic church that caught fire and the fire department couldn't put it out so they told the priest to go in and get what was most important to his faith and come right back out. He goes in and gets the host. Now this is a city in the north east and lots of the fire fighters are catholic so the loss of the church just makes them want to get drunk and while in the process they don't notice the Jewish synogue catching on fire. They can't save it either, so they tell the Rabbi to go in and get what's most important to his faith and come right back out. He goes in and gets the torah scrolls. And by now they get REALLY drunk because they've lost two holy places in one day and they absolutely don't notice the Unitarian church next door catch fire. They're to drunk to do anything to stop this one so they just tell the minister to go in and get what's most important to his faith and come right back out. He goes in and gets the Mr. Coffee.

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	sorchar 2009-12-17 09:59 am UTC (link)
	BISHOP SPONG FTW! Episcopalianism is Catholic lite - all of the pretty, none of the guilt! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	major_fischer 2009-12-17 05:46 pm UTC (link)
	I love Bishop Spong. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sorchar 2009-12-17 08:55 pm UTC (link)
	He is pretty much made up of equal parts awesome and kickass. If only all our bishops were as cool. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	frequentmouse 2009-12-19 12:32 am UTC (link)
	I love him calmly explaining that Genesis was the best you could expect of people with no telescopes, microscopes, or understanding of the periodic table. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	major_fischer 2009-12-19 06:45 am UTC (link)
	I've personally always throught Genius was a really poetic description of the big bang. But I'm not all literal like some people are. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	lady_ganesh 2009-12-17 04:54 pm UTC (link)
	How do you intimidate a Unitarian? Burn a question mark on their lawn. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	major_fischer 2009-12-17 05:44 pm UTC (link)
	On the road to Heaven there is a fork in the road with a sign. "To Heaven" <--- and "To Discussions About Heaven" ---> All the Unitarians can be found in Discussions About Heaven. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

dragonfangirl
2009-12-18 02:39 am UTC (link)

It's near the end of the day at the Pearly Gates and there are just three people left. The first one approaches St. Peter. St. Peter asks the man his religion and the guy says that he's a Catholic. St. Peter pages through a thick book, reads something and then asks, "Did you go to church every Sunday and receive the sacraments?" The guy says, "Oh, yes," and St. Peter lets him into Heaven.

The next guy approaches and St. Peter asks what religion he is. "I'm Jewish." St. Peter again flips through the book, reads something and asks, "Did you study the Torah?" The guy responds, "Oh yes," and St. Peter lets him into heaven.

The last person approaches and when asked she tells St. Peter that she is UU. St. Peter again flips through his book, looks up and asks, "Did you bring a hot dish to share?"

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	cmdr_zoom 2009-12-17 10:00 pm UTC (link)
	So the joke about agnostics having sex - "Oh my God who may or may not exist!" - applies here too? (Reply to this)(Parent)

dragonfangirl
2009-12-18 02:38 am UTC (link)

He goes in and gets the Mr. Coffee.

....Yeah, actually, that sounds about right. :(

I'd laugh, except I still can't put out of my mind a service I attended when I was ten or so where the minister andmost of the church committee formed a conga line and danced and sang their way around the sanctuary with Mr Coffee at their head, soliciting donations. I am not making this up.

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	major_fischer 2009-12-19 06:47 am UTC (link)
	That ... actually terrifies me. I have a lot of trouble singing in a UU church because I know the hymns with different words. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	dragonfangirl 2009-12-19 06:42 pm UTC (link)
	You should just sing the words you know. Nobody will mind. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	tachikoma01 2010-01-11 07:32 pm UTC (link)
	I wish my UU church was that lively! All we've got is a population of hilarious filkers making UU songs from pop songs. (Not that I'm complaining, they're awesome. But I've never seen an in-church conga line.) (Reply to this)(Parent)

	another from a UU minister thebratqueen 2009-12-18 05:06 am UTC (link)
	What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with a Unitarian? Someone who goes around knocking on people's doors for no particular reason whatsoever. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	aliaras 2009-12-18 11:51 am UTC (link)
	How many unitarians does it take to change a lightbulb? Well, we don't want to be so judgemental as to suggest that the lightbulb needs to change... (Reply to this)(Parent)

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