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tetradecimal (tetradecimal) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2010-05-20 13:36:00


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Entry tags:otf_wank's thoughts on showering, shower wank (not the fun kind)

If you like hot showers, YOU ARE A SNIVELING, WEAK WASTE OF SPACE
Jeffrey Wells is here to tell you that if you take showers that last more than three minutes, you might as well be a drug-addled addict hiding away and shivering in a cave somewhere, wishing only for sweet, sweet death the comforting warmth of your mother's womb.

"I was reminding myself this morning that it's a sign of weak character to take long showers. Anyone who does this is a soft sister -- a person looking to hide inside the warm amniotic fluid of his mother's womb, which is what a nice hot shower feels like. This realization goes back to when I was in my early 20s. If I happened to notice that a roommate or some guy or girl who was staying over was taking ten- or twelve-minute showers (or worse), I would instantly write them off.

Those who take extra-long hot showers are the same people who take extra-long breaks or lunches in order to get away from office drudgery, or who hide away inside an alcoholic or nicotine or drug cave. Your average enterprising, disciplined, hard-working types take four- or five-minute showers, at the longest. If you're really hard-core you've finished in less than three. No exceptions, no excuses -- either you get it or you don't."


ETA: Oh yeah, unrelated but relevant link.



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[info]queencallipygos
2010-05-20 06:06 pm UTC (link)
I had a roommate who took long hot showers. However, she was taking long hot showers because that soothed her muscles after each of her Japanse iaido sword classes.

I think my roommate would be tremendously amused to hear that the study of a Japanese martial art was leaving her with "a weak character."

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]tehrin
2010-05-20 06:34 pm UTC (link)
I used to take kendo. Long showers/baths and a giant plateful of spaghetti afterward were my regimen.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]come_love_sleep
2010-05-21 12:07 am UTC (link)
Haha, the running joke at my kendobu is that the three things you really need in life are kendo, beer, and a good hot shower.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


ariadne484
2010-05-20 06:53 pm UTC (link)
If you could introduce your roommate to this guy that would be awesome. Tell me the time and place and I'll bring popcorn.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]queencallipygos
2010-05-20 07:01 pm UTC (link)
Alas, she had to set that aside because of some serious knee issues. :-(

Plus, she also lives in Australia now. Where I think she's unofficially responsible for most of the Top Gear fanlove in Brisbane.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]evilsqueakers
2010-05-21 09:20 am UTC (link)
Where I think she's unofficially responsible for most of the Top Gear fanlove in Brisbane.

Wait, is this a bad thing?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]queencallipygos
2010-05-25 04:43 pm UTC (link)
Oh, not at all. What I meant was that if there's a Brisbane TOP GEAR fan club right now, she either started it or her sheer enthusiasm gave it WAY more exposure just through osmosis. (Her TOP GEAR fan-status is part of her charm.)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]evilsqueakers
2010-05-25 06:52 pm UTC (link)
Oh, good. Because I was gonna say, "How is Top Gear anything ever bad?" That's like saying Primeval's not full of fluff dinosaur hunters.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]laerwen
2010-05-20 10:11 pm UTC (link)
Damn. Much props to your roommate - iaido is a very beautiful (and deadly) art. o.o

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]finchbird
2010-05-20 11:57 pm UTC (link)
One of my brothers runs in marathons for charity. I'd like to see this guy tell him this shit.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]seca
2010-05-21 03:43 am UTC (link)
I used to be in the army and after the annual 20k ruck march that you had to do in under four hours there was nothing more blissful that taking a shower to get rid of the sweat and grime and then a nice warm bath for your feet.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]cereta
2010-05-21 03:28 pm UTC (link)
From what he's written, I don't think he would count your roommate. When he talks about "people," I think he means "men." Women are, you know, women, and therefore don't count.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]queencallipygos
2010-05-25 04:44 pm UTC (link)
...Which probably means he'd have a beef with her taking Iaido anyway, come to think of it, because she's a girl and all...

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]amy_wolf
2010-05-23 08:11 am UTC (link)
I'm pretty sure his idea of proper showering behavior would involve running around all smelly with sore muscles after each class instead.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


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