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tetradecimal (tetradecimal) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2010-05-20 13:36:00


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Entry tags:otf_wank's thoughts on showering, shower wank (not the fun kind)

If you like hot showers, YOU ARE A SNIVELING, WEAK WASTE OF SPACE
Jeffrey Wells is here to tell you that if you take showers that last more than three minutes, you might as well be a drug-addled addict hiding away and shivering in a cave somewhere, wishing only for sweet, sweet death the comforting warmth of your mother's womb.

"I was reminding myself this morning that it's a sign of weak character to take long showers. Anyone who does this is a soft sister -- a person looking to hide inside the warm amniotic fluid of his mother's womb, which is what a nice hot shower feels like. This realization goes back to when I was in my early 20s. If I happened to notice that a roommate or some guy or girl who was staying over was taking ten- or twelve-minute showers (or worse), I would instantly write them off.

Those who take extra-long hot showers are the same people who take extra-long breaks or lunches in order to get away from office drudgery, or who hide away inside an alcoholic or nicotine or drug cave. Your average enterprising, disciplined, hard-working types take four- or five-minute showers, at the longest. If you're really hard-core you've finished in less than three. No exceptions, no excuses -- either you get it or you don't."


ETA: Oh yeah, unrelated but relevant link.



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[info]tehrin
2010-05-20 06:28 pm UTC (link)
Same difference. If you take extra long baths, it's "Mommy, mommy, I feel safe and secure in here...can I stay longer?" You can't be afraid of or avoid the natural sting and chill of life. A strong attachment to feelings of liquid warmth and serenity in a bath or shower is definitely a womb trip thing, and being neurotically attached to prolonging or extending that experience as much as you can means you're a loser, plain and simple.

I take a showers, then baths. Sometimes more than once a day if the weather is really unforgiving (in "the natural sting and heat of life" sense, not "the natural sting and chill of life")or I'm doing something strenuous that involves *dirt* and *sweat.*

I don't have much of an interest in meeting or talking to you either. Eff you and pissy-boy nyah-nyah neghead attitude. People who compulsively take extra-long steamy showers (and I'm not talking about creative-dreaming showers or "boy, did I have a touigh day today or what?" showers) ARE hiders. Sorry to have pushed this basic truism into your head, but it's true.

Well, poo to you too, poo-brain. I wouldn't want to meet you either because you SMELL! >:(

Please put me back in the womb now. So cold. So unforgiving.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]riah_chan
2010-05-20 07:41 pm UTC (link)
I'm from Las Vegas and many times in the past did not have A/C in my car... thus I would take several showers a day FOR AS LONG AS I FELT LIKE!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]evilsqueakers
2010-05-21 09:27 am UTC (link)
I'm in Atlanta and my AC is broken. I have to do a thorough house cleaning the apartment up before I have them come fix it so I'm taking a couple cool showers a day.

Some last a whooping 5-10 minutes to get sweat and grime off.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]bemysty
2010-05-21 01:50 pm UTC (link)
I never had AC before I trolled off to Asia. It was very fun last summer, with up to 40C, on the fifth floor and only a teeny tiny fan. Can only recommend it!

I kid, really, dry heat I don't mind, it's just humidity that kills me. It's, like... as long as I walk or bike, I'm fine, but the SECOND I stop I'm soaked in sweat. I hate humidity :/

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[info]evilsqueakers
2010-05-21 07:30 pm UTC (link)
I'm from the land of humidity, really, and I don't mind it so long as the AC works. Because I'm a prissy bitch and don't like being uncomfortable.

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[info]dragonfangirl
2010-05-20 07:52 pm UTC (link)
Eff you and pissy-boy nyah-nyah neghead attitude.

What, really?

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]bigbigtruck
2010-05-20 07:58 pm UTC (link)
Wait, is that Answerman from ANN in there?

(Reply to this)(Parent)


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