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tetradecimal (tetradecimal) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2010-05-20 13:36:00


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Entry tags:otf_wank's thoughts on showering, shower wank (not the fun kind)

If you like hot showers, YOU ARE A SNIVELING, WEAK WASTE OF SPACE
Jeffrey Wells is here to tell you that if you take showers that last more than three minutes, you might as well be a drug-addled addict hiding away and shivering in a cave somewhere, wishing only for sweet, sweet death the comforting warmth of your mother's womb.

"I was reminding myself this morning that it's a sign of weak character to take long showers. Anyone who does this is a soft sister -- a person looking to hide inside the warm amniotic fluid of his mother's womb, which is what a nice hot shower feels like. This realization goes back to when I was in my early 20s. If I happened to notice that a roommate or some guy or girl who was staying over was taking ten- or twelve-minute showers (or worse), I would instantly write them off.

Those who take extra-long hot showers are the same people who take extra-long breaks or lunches in order to get away from office drudgery, or who hide away inside an alcoholic or nicotine or drug cave. Your average enterprising, disciplined, hard-working types take four- or five-minute showers, at the longest. If you're really hard-core you've finished in less than three. No exceptions, no excuses -- either you get it or you don't."


ETA: Oh yeah, unrelated but relevant link.



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[info]bigbigtruck
2010-05-20 09:43 pm UTC (link)
So has he actually done anything of merit at some point, or is he just some random asshat? o_o

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]theelusiven
2010-05-20 09:55 pm UTC (link)
He's apparently been in journalism since 1977.
http://www.hollywood-elsewhere.com/about/index.php

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]bobafeis
2010-05-21 08:13 am UTC (link)
I think his claim to fame was that... some Hollywood execs were assholes to him once. And he didn't check his sources. And he got into the press equivalent of a flamewar with Ben Affleck once, but Ben got bored and wandered off halfway through.

One of my coworkers is a retired Hollywood journalist. Apparently this guy's always been a bit crazypants.

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[info]ladyvyola
2010-05-21 01:18 pm UTC (link)
I have a sudden respect for Ben Affleck. That is an awesome reaction to a flamewar.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


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