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tetradecimal (tetradecimal) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2010-05-20 13:36:00


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Entry tags:otf_wank's thoughts on showering, shower wank (not the fun kind)

If you like hot showers, YOU ARE A SNIVELING, WEAK WASTE OF SPACE
Jeffrey Wells is here to tell you that if you take showers that last more than three minutes, you might as well be a drug-addled addict hiding away and shivering in a cave somewhere, wishing only for sweet, sweet death the comforting warmth of your mother's womb.

"I was reminding myself this morning that it's a sign of weak character to take long showers. Anyone who does this is a soft sister -- a person looking to hide inside the warm amniotic fluid of his mother's womb, which is what a nice hot shower feels like. This realization goes back to when I was in my early 20s. If I happened to notice that a roommate or some guy or girl who was staying over was taking ten- or twelve-minute showers (or worse), I would instantly write them off.

Those who take extra-long hot showers are the same people who take extra-long breaks or lunches in order to get away from office drudgery, or who hide away inside an alcoholic or nicotine or drug cave. Your average enterprising, disciplined, hard-working types take four- or five-minute showers, at the longest. If you're really hard-core you've finished in less than three. No exceptions, no excuses -- either you get it or you don't."


ETA: Oh yeah, unrelated but relevant link.



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[info]finchbird
2010-05-20 11:57 pm UTC (link)
One of my brothers runs in marathons for charity. I'd like to see this guy tell him this shit.

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