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tetradecimal (tetradecimal) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2010-05-20 13:36:00


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Entry tags:otf_wank's thoughts on showering, shower wank (not the fun kind)

If you like hot showers, YOU ARE A SNIVELING, WEAK WASTE OF SPACE
Jeffrey Wells is here to tell you that if you take showers that last more than three minutes, you might as well be a drug-addled addict hiding away and shivering in a cave somewhere, wishing only for sweet, sweet death the comforting warmth of your mother's womb.

"I was reminding myself this morning that it's a sign of weak character to take long showers. Anyone who does this is a soft sister -- a person looking to hide inside the warm amniotic fluid of his mother's womb, which is what a nice hot shower feels like. This realization goes back to when I was in my early 20s. If I happened to notice that a roommate or some guy or girl who was staying over was taking ten- or twelve-minute showers (or worse), I would instantly write them off.

Those who take extra-long hot showers are the same people who take extra-long breaks or lunches in order to get away from office drudgery, or who hide away inside an alcoholic or nicotine or drug cave. Your average enterprising, disciplined, hard-working types take four- or five-minute showers, at the longest. If you're really hard-core you've finished in less than three. No exceptions, no excuses -- either you get it or you don't."


ETA: Oh yeah, unrelated but relevant link.



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[info]artimusdin
2010-05-21 03:38 am UTC (link)
WANT. NOW. *grabby hands* ;_____;

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]freezer
2010-05-21 07:47 am UTC (link)
Seconded. The current hacienda has a stupidly shallow tub, exacerbated by a water heater that goes cold when the tub is half full. If I could afford to replace them both, I would.

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[info]bemysty
2010-05-21 01:45 pm UTC (link)
My parents' old tub used to be like that... very snug on me, impossible for my brother and uncomfortable for my father, plus a shitty boiler*. I was the only one who really enjoyed that tub and was sad to see it go.

*in the boiler's defence, it was installed in 1962 and the water went up three floors, with most of the plumbing in the outside walls.

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[info]aliaras
2010-05-23 06:16 pm UTC (link)
Oh man, that is what my apartment is like. It's sad. I should take a bath at my parents' -- it's not great, but it at least gets and stays warm.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


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