Why, the CLASSICS, of course! For they are CLASSICS. Because someone TOLD HER SO, and reading them makes her look SMART. That's why she has to pace herself, don't you see? There are only so many books left in the world that are pretentious and impressive-sounding enough for her. Pretty soon, she will have read ALL THE BOOKS and those goddamned bastards at NaNoWriMo will still be churning out narcissistic crap! STOP THE MADNESS.

At least, that's the vibe I'm getting from that article.