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"You are a big rat and a snake with poisenous venom."
BigAl posts book reviews to his book blog "Books and Pals." Recently he posted an honest but critical review of Jacqueline Howett's "The Greek Seaman," giving it a two star rating because of its "numerous proofing, typo, and grammar issues."

Jacqueline Howett is not amused.

You obviously didn't read the second clean copy I requested you download that was also reformatted, so this is a very unfair review. My Amazon readers/reviewers give it 5 stars and 4 stars and they say they really enjoyed The Greek Seaman and thought it was well written. Maybe its just my style and being English is what you don't get. Sorry it wasn't your cup of tea, but I think I will stick to my five star and four star reviews thanks.

She then proceeds to copy-paste three of her favorite Amazon reviews of her book. BigAl responds, letting her know that the formatting wasn't an issue.

Howett responds with this gem.

My writing is just fine!

You did not download the fresh copy.... you did not. No way!

As to annoymous

Al was given the option of a free copy from smashwords the following day to download in any format he preffered.

Look AL, I'm not in the mood for playing snake with you, what I read above has no flaws. My writing is fine. You were told to download a new copy for format problems the very next day while they were free at Smashwords, so you could choose any format you wanted to read it in and if their were any spelling mistakes they were corrected. Simply remove this review as it is in error with you not downloading the fresh copy i insisted. Why review my book after being told to do this, and more annoying why have you never ever responded to any of my e-mails?

And please follow up now from e-mail.
This is not only discusting and unprofessional on your part, but you really don't fool me AL.

Who are you any way? Really who are you?
What do we know about you?

You never downloaded another copy you liar!
You never ever returned to me an e-mail

Besides if you want to throw crap at authors you should first ask their permission if they want it stuck up on the internet via e-mail. That debate is high among authors.

Your the target not me!
Now get this review off here!

She then claims all the anonymous commenters are actually BigAl and that BigAl should remove the bad review or else it's "considered abuse."

She just doesn't know when to stop.

I especially like that last link for this comment: "Well what should I expect of anyone associated to Big ALs snake pit and rat hole. You are a big rat and a snake with poisenous venom. Lots of luck to authors who come here and slip in that!"

And, of course, it ends with a "Fuck off!"

EDIT: I missed the "Fuck off!" Part Deuce. And here's an excerpt of "The Greek Seaman" on her website, if you'd like to read more about Greek seaman.

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(Post a new comment)

	northen_light36 2011-03-29 11:25 pm UTC (link)
	Absolute Write has it too, and they're not impressed. http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=209200 (Reply to this)

	scenicandserene 2011-03-29 11:33 pm UTC (link)
	Review: is only two paragraphs long and really tries to bring up the good parts of the book, which is obviously shit, despite its numerous issues Howett: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRBBBBBBBBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL I love author wank. :') (Reply to this)(Thread)

	paladin 2011-03-30 02:46 am UTC (link)
	I was originally unimpressed by Howett's writing style, but now I find it kind of impressive given that she's apparently a murloc. (Come to think of it, it's fun to imagine lot of wankers as murlocs desperately banging random letters on their keyboards.) (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	etcetera_cat 2011-03-30 01:49 pm UTC (link)
	Picturing this pleases me (and now I'm going to mentally find-and-replace all the given murloc names next time I'm grinding rep in Northrend) (Reply to this)(Parent)

	moongazingfae 2011-03-31 11:52 am UTC (link)
	Frankly, I'm just proud I didn't sporfle loudly just now. Closing tab before I lol in earnest... (Reply to this)(Parent)

	chienne 2011-03-30 12:02 am UTC (link)
	I keep hearing everything Jacqueline Howett says in Mojo Jojo's voice. (Reply to this)(Thread)

cmdr_zoom
2011-03-30 02:10 am UTC (link)

So you are saying that Jacqueline Howett has a tendency to repeat herself, to employ redundancies, to say the same thing again and again using different words, in the manner of Mojo Jojo? Am I correct that this is the behavior that you have observed in Jacqueline Howett? I wish to be clear, precise, and certain of your opinion regarding Jacqueline Howett and her method of communication.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	evilsqueakers 2011-03-30 02:53 am UTC (link)
	And that reminds me of Word Girl. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	singe 2011-03-30 03:08 am UTC (link)
	And ONCE AGAIN I'm getting a Misery vibe. You never downloaded another copy you liar! You did not download the fresh copy.... you did not. No way! AL is a cockadoodie Don't-Bee! (Reply to this)(Thread)

	mindset 2011-03-30 05:38 am UTC (link)
	Whereas this is what I'm getting. Not sure which is more disturbing. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	singe 2011-03-31 02:00 am UTC (link)
	Definitely your option. That's just...weird. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	singe 2011-03-30 03:13 am UTC (link)
	And why am I not published again? Because I haven't written anything? Oh. But when I finally do I promise I won't behave like that. (Reply to this)

	cyan_aura 2011-03-30 08:29 pm UTC (link)
	omg. I am out of popcorn. (Reply to this)

cyan_aura
2011-03-30 08:42 pm UTC (link)

omg, the most "helpful" review on Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/review/R38MPVGR1SDJMI/ref=cm_cr_pr_viewpnt#R38MPVGR1SDJMI

I've traveled the world and can understand the author's attraction to Greek Seaman. Although, I have never experienced Greek Seaman, I consider myself an expert in Seaman from around the world. I have been exposed to warm Seaman, cloudy Seaman, forceful Seaman, drippy Seaman and salty Seaman. I have received Danish Seaman, Russian Seaman, Japanese Seaman and even countries that couldn't provide Seaman. Obviously, I love Seaman. I'm always looking for any chance to experience Seaman. Thanks to this author, I know now that Greek Seaman is something I have to have. The desire for Greek Seaman is so intense that I can almost taste it. Please read this book. I guarantee that you'll want to have as much Greek Seaman as possible. This book is excellent but don't read it as much. I don't want you to choke on Greek Seaman.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

	cmdr_zoom 2011-03-31 06:11 am UTC (link)
	is twelve XD (Reply to this)(Parent)

	phuck_u 2011-03-31 11:45 pm UTC (link)
	Note the reviewer's handle: "Dunning Kruger." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	cyan_aura 2011-04-01 10:14 pm UTC (link)
	is drawing a blank google XD awesome (Reply to this)(Parent)

	vzg 2011-03-31 11:14 pm UTC (link)
	And Red adept get out of this! So she first accuses the reviewer of anon-socking, and then when someone else comes in against he problem with anons she tells them to get out of it. Delightful. (Reply to this)

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"You are a big rat and a snake with poisenous venom."
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2012-01-10 12:51 pm UTC (link)
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2012-01-31 08:17 am UTC (link)
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"You are a big rat and a snake with poisenous venom."
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2012-02-16 01:15 pm UTC (link)
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