Entry tags:

"You are a big rat and a snake with poisenous venom."
BigAl posts book reviews to his book blog "Books and Pals." Recently he posted an honest but critical review of Jacqueline Howett's "The Greek Seaman," giving it a two star rating because of its "numerous proofing, typo, and grammar issues."

Jacqueline Howett is not amused.

You obviously didn't read the second clean copy I requested you download that was also reformatted, so this is a very unfair review. My Amazon readers/reviewers give it 5 stars and 4 stars and they say they really enjoyed The Greek Seaman and thought it was well written. Maybe its just my style and being English is what you don't get. Sorry it wasn't your cup of tea, but I think I will stick to my five star and four star reviews thanks.

She then proceeds to copy-paste three of her favorite Amazon reviews of her book. BigAl responds, letting her know that the formatting wasn't an issue.

Howett responds with this gem.

My writing is just fine!

You did not download the fresh copy.... you did not. No way!

As to annoymous

Al was given the option of a free copy from smashwords the following day to download in any format he preffered.

Look AL, I'm not in the mood for playing snake with you, what I read above has no flaws. My writing is fine. You were told to download a new copy for format problems the very next day while they were free at Smashwords, so you could choose any format you wanted to read it in and if their were any spelling mistakes they were corrected. Simply remove this review as it is in error with you not downloading the fresh copy i insisted. Why review my book after being told to do this, and more annoying why have you never ever responded to any of my e-mails?

And please follow up now from e-mail.
This is not only discusting and unprofessional on your part, but you really don't fool me AL.

Who are you any way? Really who are you?
What do we know about you?

You never downloaded another copy you liar!
You never ever returned to me an e-mail

Besides if you want to throw crap at authors you should first ask their permission if they want it stuck up on the internet via e-mail. That debate is high among authors.

Your the target not me!
Now get this review off here!

She then claims all the anonymous commenters are actually BigAl and that BigAl should remove the bad review or else it's "considered abuse."

She just doesn't know when to stop.

I especially like that last link for this comment: "Well what should I expect of anyone associated to Big ALs snake pit and rat hole. You are a big rat and a snake with poisenous venom. Lots of luck to authors who come here and slip in that!"

And, of course, it ends with a "Fuck off!"

EDIT: I missed the "Fuck off!" Part Deuce. And here's an excerpt of "The Greek Seaman" on her website, if you'd like to read more about Greek seaman.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	cleolinda 2011-03-29 02:42 am UTC (link)
	It's so amazing. I don't know whether I prefer her obsession with "your ball" ("I intend to promote now without your ball," "look at your ball of all of you!") or her invitation to look at the video of her voice reading the book. Also, there are two different "fuck off" comments. I feel like this should be noted. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	juliansinger 2011-03-29 03:01 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, what IS the ball supposed to be? Input, I assume, but... Is there some vernacular I'm missing? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	galletas 2011-03-29 04:19 am UTC (link)
	She may be referring to the phrase "Take your ball and go home." Maybe she thinks every situation has a figurative "ball" in which you can take and flounce out of every situation. In other words, BALLS EVERYWHERE. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	edelweiss 2011-03-29 05:42 pm UTC (link)
	Balls AND seamen? (Reply to this)(Parent)

	puipui 2011-03-29 05:28 am UTC (link)
	I liked R. Doug Wicker's response to the two "fuck off" comments: Well, on the upside, we now know Jacqueline can string together a grammatically correct two-word sentence . . . as long as the sentence starts with an expletive. I guess that's some sort of improvement. Heeeeeee! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	magnolia_mama 2011-03-29 10:08 am UTC (link)
	I think her misspelling of "anonymous" as "annoymous" is my favorite thing about this entire wank. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	fern_on_fen 2011-03-29 03:03 pm UTC (link)
	Heh. If Fandom_Wank turns on anon commenting again, and someone wanks, I'm going to call them an, "Annoymouse." (Reply to this)(Parent)

	ladyvyola 2011-03-29 01:34 pm UTC (link)
	Also, there are two different "fuck off" comments. I feel like this should be noted. Your dedication to precision in wank reportage is something I've always admired about you! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	cyan_aura 2011-03-30 08:34 pm UTC (link)
	balls, snakes, seamen... yeah, sounds like someone's a little preoccupied-- AAAAUGH ~~oh god sudden image of wanky writer typing with one hand AAAGH BRAIN BLEACH PLZ~~ (Reply to this)(Parent)

(Read comments) -