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Wicked One ([info]visp) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2011-10-12 17:10:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:defensiveness ahoy, food, it's not easy wanking green, let them eat cake, otf_wank's thoughts on weight

The Serious Side of Salad
Once upon a time, someone in facebook posted a "Why Geeks Make Better Boyfriends" list. Britney St. Patience felt the need to point out its inaccuracies. She prefaces it with "Sure there are geek guys out there who are great partners. But being a geek does not guarantee that a guy will be a great boyfriend."

It's a pretty standard 'Nice Guy' deconstruction.

The main highlights are:

Myth #3: Geeks are low maintenance
Supposedly geek guys make great boyfriends because they can subsist on pizza, Mt Dew, and your affection. Just wait until you meet one who will ONLY eat pizza and maybe 3-4 other foods, like some sort of overgrown five year old. It took me nearly a decade to get my computer programmer ex husband to eat salad. My Star Wars obsessed ex boyfriend could not be taken to nice restaurants because he refused to wear anything except ripped jeans and nerdy tees and would not eat anything he could not pronounce. LOW MAINTENANCE MY ASS.

and

Myth #6: Geeks appreciate women
This one is, by far, my favorite geek guy myth. The myth of the guy who spent all of high school playing D&D but secretly wanting someone to love and when he finally gets a girl he imprints on her and covers her in puppy-like devotion. OMG WHERE DO PEOPLE GET THIS SHIT? You know what really happens when guys don't get laid in high school or college and spend all their time reading coming books and filling their spank banks with Buffy the Vampire Slayer fanfic? They fill their little nerd brains with unrealistic expectations, waiting around for what one of my gamer friends calls a "magical pixie girl". An unattainably hot woman, who will love the nerd boy not in spite of his nerdiness but because of it and somehow his life will be transformed by her love. And he shall get a job. And he shall move out of his parents basement. And he shall cease to be whatever it is he dislikes about himself because the magical lady doth love him. But woe to any girl who does not live up to his fantasy. She will be treated with the same regard as yesterday's Mt Dew cans.

So, a little harsh, but all in all not a matter for anger, right? Wrong!


It gets posted to Metaquotes, and it starts to get weird.

First, the appetizer of rebuttals that only confirm the post.


The myth of the guy who spent all of high school playing D&D but secretly wanting someone to love and when he finally gets a girl he imprints on her and covers her in puppy-like devotion. OMG WHERE DO PEOPLE GET THIS SHIT?"

They get it from reality. That described me perfectly. It happened. It still happens. She completely ripped out my heart and shit in the hole eventually, and I got over this pattern... but it happens. That's where people get the idea.

The OP is demanding, high maintenance, dissatisfied with all the men out there... and yet continues to put herself into relationships with people SHE DOESN'T LIKE in some misguided attempt to make them into something she does like.

Of course it doesn't work, millions of people can tell you that (and probably did), and now she's bitter as a result of her mistakes, and is shifting the blame onto a large and diverse demographic that, in the aggregate, does NOT actually fit all the stereotypes she is perpetuating about them.

But then Candidgamera shows up and he Does. Not. Like. Salad.

If the girl I was dating was bizarrely fixated on me eating a salad, it wouldn't take me ten years to dump her sorry ass.

Making your husband eat a salad makes you a controlling harpy.

What follows is an extended debate over whether asking your spouse to eat salad is controlling, an act of deepest love for your dearest one, or something in between. Over salad.


(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]melannen
2011-10-13 03:06 am UTC (link)
I had a geek friend who wouldn't eat anything other than burgers (no cheese) and fries and Coke. (And pancakes or waffles for breakfast.) Then he got married, and because he was actually an adult at that point, he willingly agreed to at least try anything his wife cooked for him.

...it took them six months to figure out he was lactose intolerant. And intolerant to rice, of all things. And soy. And about half-a-dozen other common ingredients in grown-up meals.

After that I decided not to judge anyone who chooses a seriously restricted diet, even if they've never actually gotten diagnosed, because they may have learned from bitter experience that trying new things means misery. (But you know what? The result of that with my friend wasn't going back to nothing but burgers - it was the two of them working together to figure out what he could eat and find interesting recipes that worked...)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]iamnotyourmuse
2011-10-13 03:30 am UTC (link)
I really really really want a Food Network (or the like) show about cooking for "picky" eaters or anyone who wants to or has to cut out common things. I hate tomatoes and onions, for example. It's a gigantic pain in the ass to figure out how to redo some recipes without those. And that's just a preference, not a required restriction.

/off topic

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]phosfate
2011-10-13 04:10 am UTC (link)
There's stuff I can't eat because the taste is like getting hit in the face with a softball bat (see: vinegar, miso, kale, or any salad dressing ever), or because it triggers instant barfing (I AM LOOKING AT YOU, BEETS, YOU FILTHY LITTLE COCKBITES). Fortunately for me, nothing in this world requires any of them. But I swear, if they made Futurama-type Bachelor Chow, I would be totally down with that stuff.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]iamnotyourmuse
2011-10-13 04:15 am UTC (link)
My husband has long contended that "dinner cereal" could be a hit if designed/marketed right.

(I'm a supertaster, so bitter foods = ick. Couple that with texture issues like pulpy things? That rules out a LOT)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2011-10-13 05:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]iamnotyourmuse, 2011-10-13 06:06 pm UTC
Re: Sorry for getting all unfunnybusiness...
[info]sandglass
2011-10-13 04:18 am UTC (link)
I need Bachelor Chow. I have no time, energy, or desire to put work into food, and nutrients are so hard to come by when you're lazy! (Salads: Not that healthy. You need to cook most veggies to get the best stuff out of them.)

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]ekaterinv
2011-10-13 04:21 am UTC (link)
ZOMG I have never met anyone else who had an insta-puke food. It's green peppers for me.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sandglass, 2011-10-13 04:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ekaterinv, 2011-10-13 04:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sandglass, 2011-10-13 04:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]anthologia, 2011-10-13 07:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]undomielregina, 2011-10-13 11:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]schrodingerscat, 2011-10-16 06:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eiviiaru, 2011-10-14 01:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]white_tean, 2011-10-13 11:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2011-10-13 05:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]eljuno, 2011-10-13 06:32 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]eleutheria, 2011-10-14 01:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]bemysty, 2011-10-14 02:10 pm UTC

[info]blackflag
2011-10-18 02:58 pm UTC (link)
Rhubarb does that to me. To this day, thinking about it makes me feel ill.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]wankismyfandom
2011-10-13 05:23 am UTC (link)
THANK THE GODS I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO HATES ONIONS

(but I will gladly take those tomatoes off your hands)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]iamnotyourmuse
2011-10-13 12:23 pm UTC (link)
Onion powder is okay, and cooked down they often disappear (like in good chili). But slimy cooked onion strips or ugh, raw? *shudder*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]cmdr_zoom, 2011-10-13 03:58 pm UTC

[info]nursewretched
2011-10-13 04:27 pm UTC (link)
You can have all of my onions and tomatoes too. I'm a bit odd, I can't stand to eat foods if I don't like their texture.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]iczer6
2011-10-13 04:35 pm UTC (link)
I despise them. Horrible vegetable.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]zyna_kat
2011-10-13 05:54 pm UTC (link)
No, I despise onions! Not only are they disgusting, they make me barf. It wouldn't be so bad if they weren't freakin' EVERYWHERE!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]sepiamagpie
2011-10-13 08:33 pm UTC (link)
COMRADE!

I freaking hate onions.

Childhood ~trauma~: My mom would constantly 'forget' I couldn't stand them, and would call me up with 'I've made your favourite!' and I'd come to the table and BAM. Full of onions.

I'm still partially convinced I was an ongoing psychiatric experiment on her part.

Also I'm mentioning this at her funeral.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]zara_zero, 2011-10-13 10:50 pm UTC

[info]librarianmouse
2011-10-14 04:49 am UTC (link)
Onions are the devil. I ordered a sandwich at a fancy restaurant not long ago, and I wasn't aware it came on an onion roll. I was sick for the rest of the day.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]risha
2011-10-13 10:51 pm UTC (link)
Chicken. I loathe chicken, always have, always will, in all forms. This makes life occasionally difficult, as this is the default for people who need to feed a lot of people, because "everyone likes chicken!". See: airplanes (back when they served food), weddings, award banquets, large parties. If given the chance, on a RSVP card or some such, I usually pretend to be a vegetarian.

This can also make family meals difficult. I spent a lot of my childhood skipping some dinners and making my own for others. My ex-husband and I eventually worked out that chicken and pork are usually interchangeable in recipes, so we just cooked both in the same dish.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]risha
2011-10-13 11:02 pm UTC (link)

Also: in before the standard responses.

1. "Even fried chicken?!?" Answer: Yes.

2. "You haven't had my (mother's, grandmother's, great-grandmother's) chicken!" Answer: I have choked down every conceivable form over the years, and it's always equally disgusting. Your family recipe included.

3. "That's un-American!" <- not actually said, but implied. There is no response that can be made to this.

4. "Do you eat turkey?" Answer: this one still baffles me. Turkey and chicken taste no more alike than turkey and ham or steak.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ahiru, 2011-10-14 01:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]risha, 2011-10-14 01:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]re_weird, 2011-10-14 02:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2011-10-14 03:39 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]chibikaijuu, 2011-10-18 11:21 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]miss_padfoot, 2011-10-14 04:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]risha, 2011-10-14 11:32 am UTC

[info]tinmiss
2011-10-15 08:38 pm UTC (link)
I hate chicken too! My family obliges me but mocks.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]risha, 2011-10-15 09:37 pm UTC

[info]sgaana
2011-10-13 11:08 pm UTC (link)
Just commenting in solidarity about the tomatoes, and the way in which that makes standard cuisine really challenging in all kinds of places. For some people, tomatoes are so standard that they don't even think to list them as an ingredient.

My ex liked to complain only half-jestingly for many years about trying to cook stuff we'd both eat. (Even though I'll eat anything... except tomatoes.)

It's even harder in a way because I KNOW it's purely psychological. I've spent a lot of time thinking about what its origins could be. I tend to say, "I was savaged by a tomato as a small child" (and in fact I have a very vivid memory from when I was VERY small of my grandmother -- who could not believe that anyone would not like lovely meaty Jersey Tomatoes -- holding out a giant slimy slice towards my face).

But because it's purely psychological, as I've gotten older I've been able to put limits on it. Pizza sauce? Just fine (usually; chunky need not apply). Many other sauces, okay. When my ex peeled and seeded the tomatoes, I totally ate them in the cilantro salsa she made. So it's kind of a texture thing, I think -- the goop and the seeds and the rubbery skin and the slimy flesh.

But it's also something I try really hard not to let interfere with being polite. If I am over eating at a friend's parents' house or something and they serve up a big ol' dish o' tomatoes with tomatoes on the side, and there is absolutely no way to escape, I can succeed with mind over matter. Plus really, even most Italian restaurants feature non-tomato options.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]iamnotyourmuse
2011-10-13 11:20 pm UTC (link)
I know it's a texture thing for me. Tomato paste in things? No problem whatsoever. Thin tomato sauce? Sure. But if that tomato pulp gets near me? Hell no.

Even worse? The side of my family that lives near me? Italian. We do lasagna and meatballs with chunky homemade sauce for EVERY holiday.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]ahiru
2011-10-14 12:55 am UTC (link)
Much agreed. I can't stand onions either, and I mostly only like tomatoes in sauce. My other big issue besides onions is actually cheese. I like most Italian cheeses I've tried (ricotta and mozzarella and I love Parmesan) but I can't stand cheddar cheese, American, Swiss, Colby, etc. People are always shocked that I don't like it. I get weird looks at restaurants a lot when I have to specify that yes, when I say "plain hamburger" I do in fact mean "plain hamburger," as in "meat and a bun."

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]thoms
2011-10-14 02:45 am UTC (link)
Solidarity on the onions and tomatoes, and also chiming in with corn. If I eat any kind of corn, I get so nauseated I can't sit upright.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]iamnotyourmuse
2011-10-14 02:50 am UTC (link)
And corn's fucking ubiquitous. I like it, but man, it's be hard to avoid.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]thoms, 2011-10-14 05:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]librarianmouse, 2011-10-14 04:56 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]thoms, 2011-10-14 05:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]frequentmouse, 2011-10-15 04:32 am UTC

[info]shark
2011-10-15 04:44 pm UTC (link)
<unsolicited advice>

Leeks (white and light green parts only, cooked until they disappear, or chives (not scallions which aksjfhsdf are sometimes more oniony than onions I swear) can substitute for onion if you're doing something like soup or pasta sauce, or cooking a mirepoix. Also if your primary dislike is textural.

Red bell peppers substitute very well for tomatoes in my experience, especially in things like sauces but also in other dishes. They have a sweeter flavor profile, so you might want to add a splash of cooking acid of your choice to make up for it.

</unsolicited advice>

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]iamnotyourmuse, 2011-10-15 04:56 pm UTC

[info]rhrsoulmates
2011-10-16 05:35 am UTC (link)
After that I decided not to judge anyone who chooses a seriously restricted diet, even if they've never actually gotten diagnosed, because they may have learned from bitter experience that trying new things means misery.

I want to thank you for *getting it* re: your friend's food intolerance. I have an intolerance to an extreme number of foods. I used to eat them anyway, not making the connection that I wouldn't experience extreme gastrointestinal reactions if I simply STOPPED eating those foods. (I know that sounds like a duh statement but I don't know, I thought it was something I had to live with.)

Now, I've cut almost everything out, which really sucks for me because I was a "picky" eater to begin with but if I don't want to be sick for hours or days, it's what I must do. My friends know my "deal" but when dating, this becomes very stressful but it's pretty difficult to avoid the going-out-to-eat thing.

Anyway, it was just nice reading someone who is understanding of this situation.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]jerel
2011-10-18 12:23 pm UTC (link)
I always feel a bit sorry for the server when our group goes out to dinner. Collectively, we have 3 allergies (tomato, seafood, chocolate) and two restricted diets (gluten-free and kosher*.) Chocolate is the easiest one to avoid, but you would not believe how many things have tomato in them. Anything red is automatically suspect.

*won't eat pork or meat/dairy in combination. If she had to eat strict kosher in this town, she'd starve.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

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