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	puipui 2011-11-19 05:30 am UTC (link)
	"I'm still waiting for that resume that proves you know English grammar more than me" More than I, dude. More than I. I can't even parse the rest of grammar in there. All I can say is that it's beautiful. And painful. And beautiful. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	ashenmote 2011-11-19 12:27 pm UTC (link)
	Paintiful? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	the__ivorytower 2011-11-19 04:56 pm UTC (link)
	His bad grammar is a pigment of your imagination. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	feenix 2011-11-20 07:49 am UTC (link)
	So wait, his bad grammar is...purple? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	feenix 2011-11-20 07:50 am UTC (link)
	(Fixed that for HTMFail. Or...err...CSSfail in that case.) (Reply to this)(Parent)

	duraniedrama 2011-11-19 12:43 pm UTC (link)
	I saw this last night. As soon as "IntelligentWriter" showed up, I started howling with laughter. (Reply to this)

	ashenmote 2011-11-19 12:48 pm UTC (link)
	It's like the birth of an inept Super Villain. (Reply to this)

	rowanberries 2011-11-19 02:03 pm UTC (link)
	LOL. Oh, and those auto-playing YouTube vids on their site are both fucking annoying and mildly sinister, given that I hit pause at this exact point: nnaive WHO ARE YOU CALLING (N)NAIVE, PARAGON?! /tinhat (Reply to this)(Thread)

	rowanberries 2011-11-19 02:10 pm UTC (link)
	Also: we already have supporters much like your website willing to post our trends. Does this count as a 'the lurkers support me in email!'? Popcorn (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	jerel 2011-11-19 02:38 pm UTC (link)
	I think so. Because who uses e-mail anymore? What do they think this is, a listserv? ::kicks back with some Mike and Ikes:: (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	rowanberries 2011-11-19 02:47 pm UTC (link)
	Happy sigh This is my favourite sort of wank. It's so cute. (Reply to this)(Parent)

sepiamagpie
2011-11-19 02:40 pm UTC (link)

Hell will freeze before i self-published. Even though i may have to")

Theological disasters: Hell's climate change issues from burning soul emissions, with such far reaching consequences as self publishing.

I'm... not actually sure my sentence made sense, but the ebook I bought is filled with errors (thanks, publishing industry) and I think the broken English is slowly messing up my english comprehension. I'd give up, but I'm pretty sure Snacky will break my knees if I don't finish reading Ballet Shoes.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

	snacky 2011-11-19 03:59 pm UTC (link)
	comes after you with the tire iron (Reply to this)(Parent)

franzen
2011-11-21 03:56 pm UTC (link)

Ballet Shoes as in the children's book in the "Shoe" series? With hot toddies and fairies and Pauline learning not to be a drama queen? Oh, I loved that book as a child.

Though I've noticed that ebooks, even from respected sites (Amazon, I'm looking at some of your Kindle editions) are a bit wonky -- grammatical mistakes, the occasional bit of weird formatting, etc. I'm hoping this is something that sorts itself out as ebooks develop as a product. (I have no idea what the publication process is for these things -- I'm guessing errors slip through more easily...? No clue.)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sepiamagpie 2011-11-21 03:57 pm UTC (link)
	I'm told it's on purpose, to discourage the e-book industry. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	franzen 2011-11-21 07:17 pm UTC (link)
	That's completely depressing but utterly sense-making. Oh, God bless publishers and their idiocy. Sooner or later they're going to realize that you can't sell a digital product and enforce its distribution as if it were a hard copy. The MMPA and RIAA learned THAT one a long time ago. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	jupiterpluvius 2011-12-01 08:18 pm UTC (link)
	Nah. Never attribute to malice what can adequately be explained by incompetence. Doing ebooks right is actually pretty hard; getting them to work perfectly in each format is really, really hard. (Reply to this)(Parent)

AND THEN THERE WAS MORE

rowanberries
2011-11-19 03:34 pm UTC (link)

Page 7:

Rest assured, Richard White's books are shit, they don't sell, he spends his time on these whiny-ass loser sites, he can't market his books, for the life of him, or his pathetic prose; he sucks hind tit as much as his books. He's a loser and suckles the breasts of Ann Crispin and Victoria Strauss; a Writer Beware want-to-be. Yeh, Crispin, you know the one that just "won" that "award." What a joke. Come on Ann, do something real. Impress us Ann. This award is so lame for an author of your stature.

Users fall over themselves with glee, rather than immediately reporting the post.

People after our own hearts!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

	Re: AND THEN THERE WAS MORE cleolinda 2011-11-19 03:40 pm UTC (link)
	... Ew. Heh. For the record, this poster is then identified as It's "Nick Caruso". Check his previous posts. A.K.A. Bouncing Bobby Fletcher of Strategic Books and Write Agenda. So it seems to be a pile-on, rather than a second ParaDon sockpuppet. ("Write Agenda" is the site created to harass Absolute Write.) (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: AND THEN THERE WAS MORE cleolinda 2011-11-19 03:41 pm UTC (link)
	Or rather, to harass Writer Beware. DAMN LACK OF COMMENT EDITING. http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/012966.html http://whatever.scalzi.com/2011/10/03/writer-beware-and-the-write-agenda/ (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: AND THEN THERE WAS MORE rowanberries 2011-11-19 03:57 pm UTC (link)
	Facepalm Tagalong wanking, how lovely. Still, looks like ParaDon at least managed to flounce successfully, if they haven't been back yet! (Slight stumble on the exit notwithstanding.) (Reply to this)(Parent)

	Re: AND THEN THERE WAS MORE visp 2011-11-19 10:17 pm UTC (link)
	Also, I'm not sure how saying that someone likes boobs is supposed to be an insult. "He's such a loser! He's got two women-friends who are writers and he's always playing with their breasts! I hate that guy!" (Reply to this)(Parent)

	lady7jane 2011-11-19 09:38 pm UTC (link)
	Wow. They have a guest book on their page. The future really is here. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	theninth 2011-11-19 11:25 pm UTC (link)
	If Geocities still existed, it would be there. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	cygnia 2011-11-19 11:42 pm UTC (link)
	With MIDI. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	brennalarose 2011-11-20 04:44 am UTC (link)
	And gifs of blooming roses. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	spawn_of_kong 2011-11-20 07:34 pm UTC (link)
	For a moment, I read that as "gifts of blooming roses." (Reply to this)(Parent)

	ecchaniz0r 2011-11-21 12:05 am UTC (link)
	And Comet Cursors that get little sparkles all over everything. And the MIDIs would totally be the autoplay kind you cannot effing turn off. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	ekaterinv 2011-11-21 02:35 am UTC (link)
	And completely inappropriate. Phantom of the Opera music or something. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	franzen 2011-11-21 03:59 pm UTC (link)
	Don't forget the Comic Sans MS and the centering of all text. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	ladyvyola 2011-11-21 09:59 pm UTC (link)
	Oh, no! This is a totally classy site. Papyrus all the way, baby. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	seca 2011-11-22 05:10 am UTC (link)
	Would that be with a star field background image or a photo that hasn't been adjusted in some way to be able to see the text over it? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	zara_zero 2011-11-22 09:55 pm UTC (link)
	Even better, a "Don't hotlink!" image. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	franzen 2011-11-21 03:58 pm UTC (link)
	Fuck you, I FTP'd my guestbook files and then CHMODed (I so miss saying that) the files so that it would work PERFECTLY. Your worth is directly related to the number of entries you have! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	major_fischer 2011-11-19 11:48 pm UTC (link)
	Alas... for a minute there I thought the Richard White in this wank was Professor Richard White of Stanford, one of the most respected historians of our times. Whose books probably sell about as well as doctor who tie in novels... Too much time in grad school for me... (Reply to this)(Thread)

	wankaholic 2011-11-20 01:06 am UTC (link)
	If it makes you feel any better, I thought the same thing. :) (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	major_fischer 2011-11-20 01:42 am UTC (link)
	I only realized I was wrong when I followed a link to the post involved and was like "that's not Richard White...." But given that this seems to be the year for people to attack the giants of environmental history (a la William Cronon and the Wisconsin Republican Party), I plead academic paranoia. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	spawn_of_kong 2011-11-20 07:35 pm UTC (link)
	...Doctor Who tie-in novels don't sell well? :( (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	phosfate 2011-11-21 03:48 am UTC (link)
	News to me. They're even reprinting old ones now. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	major_fischer 2011-11-23 11:01 pm UTC (link)
	I meant that the best academic historian in the united states probably doesn't cell as many books as doctor who tie in authors do. That's what i get for writing on not enough sleep. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	platedlizard 2011-11-20 01:20 am UTC (link)
	Vanity publisher wank is the best wank, I swear. Right up there with knitting wank. (Reply to this)

	librarianmouse 2011-11-20 03:33 am UTC (link)
	I love my wank with a side of grammar-fail. So tasty. (Reply to this)

	mooncalf 2011-11-29 09:38 am UTC (link)
	I note that Absolute Write has been running slowly for me all day and is now completely down. I wonder if he did it! (Reply to this)

	jasonvermilion 2012-01-29 03:16 pm UTC (link)
	There is a connection between the possible and the imaginary and all that separates them is our mind. For all there is to know a about the world, today we know this much - our strive is a trip without an end. Ever so far we have dug into the unknown, that it becomes more and more a rare occurrence. (Reply to this)