Entry tags:

internet pseuicide: don't do it, lying liars who lie

wank, glorious wank.
So, the last few years of fandom lurking have spoilt me for quality drama to the degree that my everyday life is now serene and calm and completely devoid of any kind of wank or fuckery. For 99% of the time, that's great, but occasionally, the fanging for some good old fashioned dramz just gets the better of me.

What I really want, I think to myself once in a while, is a real-life wank that has *everything*: phony deaths, a bit of sympathy-scamming, easily verifiable lies, outright batshittery, and it preferably has to happen in Australia so that I have an 'in' on the context.

And like a beautiful, delicate snowflake falling upon the most virgin of blossoms, that wish was bestowed upon me. Not only in Australia, but in my home town, of all places!

Meet Clint Acworth, a some-time teacher now facing the banhammer with the Department of Education for ~~spectacular falsehoods worthy of inclusion in the Msscribe story~~ some creative life writing. His adventures included:

*Inventing a tragic family car accident that left him caring for three orphaned relatives, and being gifted with money and supplies afterwards by his co-workers to help raise the youngin's!

*Inventing a beautiful cop girlfriend who was shot on duty, and according to the Queensland Police, never existed!

*Falsely and publicly claiming to be a counsellor earning $85k per year on the Kid's Help Line - even though they'd never heard of him!

And plenty more!

Former students and classmates are corroborating the spectacular web of lies on reddit (trigger warning for typical homophobic fuckery as one might come to expect over there). I suspect there will be more to come over the next few weeks.

And the funniest/most depressing part? Not a shred of remorse or self-awareness.

Whats even more interesting is that he posted last night that there was some stuff written about him and that it's not true. And I quote "Sadly though, a former fb friend of mine has decided to stab me in the back when I am already down". This is after he deleted all the posts about his dead girlfriend and removed the pic. I think he will continue the charade for as long as he can. Quite sad really.

*Sniff* I salute you, fallen wanker. I salute you.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	visp 2012-01-16 03:44 am UTC (link)
	My opinion on dogs is that you really should have more than one so they can keep each other company when you're not around, but it's just so much work. How'd you end up with 4? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

risha
2012-01-16 06:01 am UTC (link)

It was incredibly cliche, actually.

My ex-husband talked me into a third puppy on the argument that it wasn't too much for two people. Then he up and left me a couple of months after. I was completely blindsided, so I didn't argue hard enough when he took Duncan that night. I held up the divorce for several months in a "custody battle" - he already had possession so I wasn't going to get Duncan back, but I loved my dog and wanted to be able to have him when my ex was out of town and such. (Apparently Phill fought it because he was convinced it was some sort of weird stalking technique or something? He gave up immediately after I laughed in his face at the suggestion.)

During all of this, knowing that I would never have Duncan back for real, I caved in the face of the funny looking dog that looked so sad at one of those Saturday PetSmart pet adoptions. I had already had three dogs before, I figured, so I'd be fine. (Those things are dangerous.)

Then one day Phill asked me to take Duncan for a week or so while he recovered from minor surgery. That turned into two weeks because he was still sore, and then three weeks, and then the entire month, and eventually he offered him to me permanently. I certainly wasn't going to say anything but an enthusiastic yes. But I ask you, what did we fight over him for all those months for?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	visp 2012-01-16 06:05 am UTC (link)
	Heh, weird. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	singe 2012-01-20 11:16 pm UTC (link)
	Those things are dangerous. God, tell me about it. The only thing that saves me when I accidentally stumble across a pet adoption event is my complete lack of money. When I find a better job I'm gonna have ALL THE ANIMALS! Also? Phil's a dick. You're well rid of him. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	risha 2012-01-27 01:31 am UTC (link)
	Also? Phil's a dick. You're well rid of him. Alas, the dickishness was always a given. I just wasn't generally the target. (Reply to this)(Parent)

(Read comments) -