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seiberwing ([info]seiberwing) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2012-05-22 14:26:00


Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:authorwank, self-published

Author wank, oh boy!
(Thank you to a mouse on wank_report for the following post which I am plagiarizing)

Self-published author Michael Robb Matthias make a self-promotional post in the forums of Fantasy Faction. Fantasy Faction is perfectly okay with authors promoting their work, provided they do it in the proper place, but moves said post into the "self-published and small presses" category where it belongs.

Robb duly takes this for the TERRIBLE INSULT that it is.

I am not a small press. I am an author with 18 titles for sale. That is more titles that some big publishing houses. I have advertising currently running in Locus, Publishers Weekly, Fantasy and Sci Fi, and Revolver magazines. I have blog advertising across the entire blog-o-sphere. I am not a small press or even self published. M. R. Mathias' books are PUBLISHED by Michael Robb Mathias Jr. and should be treated no differently that any big named publishers title. WHY? Because I do my job as a publisher too. Please quit sending my posts into the self published/small press thread. My titles are neither. I have 92k twitter followers @DahgMahn and 10 titles in their genre bestselling list. There is nothing self pubbed, or small, about books written by M. R. Mathias.
Thank you,
M.R.Mathias' publisher, Michael Robb Mathias Jr.


Commenters point out that this is... not really the best way to go about things and are accused of e-bullying, being sick, petty, and "jelous".

The mods close things despite the protests of a crowd of gleeful spectators on Twitter who aren't ready for the drama to end yet. Fantasy Faction posts a follow-up the next day, including a summary of the events on the forum, some mildly worrisome self-glorifying tweets, a few reviews indicating these glorious works of fiction are less than glorious, and Mr. Robb's claims of how we're all just jealous.

The fun continues on Twitter, where among other things, Mr. Robb calls Fantasy Faction Nazis and complains of censorship. He has at least four aliases on Twitter: @Michael_Robb @BookReTweeter @MrStubbs @NocturnMP3. But don't worry, they are, he informs people, all "licensed". Are your twitter handles "licensed," peons? I THINK NOT!

https://twitter.com/#!/dahgmahn seems to be where most of the action is -- but at one point, NocturnMP3 (admitted as being another sock) steps into defend...himself:

@fantasyfaction You suck, but only for banning M.R. He did NOTHING WRONG!

This entire conversation is comedy gold, of course.

@Gollancz I wanted to market my books to faction readers not indie authors. Its basic buisness. I dont want to now. Faction is all BULLIES!

Further highlights include this, to author M.D Lachlan:

@mdlachlan Ah you have publishers? 5th draft? You must suck as a writer. My #bestseller was wriiten with a pen in a prison cell. Two drafts.

WITH A PEN IN A PRISON CELL.

For your pleasure, you may also marvel at the spinning skulls and note the name of the main character of his latest book on his website.




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[info]sandglass
2012-05-22 07:52 pm UTC (link)
Defense attorney Richard King was often ridiculed by his peers for 'Dick-King around.'

If that first sentence is any indication, this book is clearly of a prize-winning quality.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2012-05-22 07:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]full_metal_ox, 2012-05-23 12:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sandglass, 2012-05-23 12:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]caffeine_fairy, 2012-05-23 10:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2012-05-23 03:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]full_metal_ox, 2012-05-24 08:14 pm UTC

[info]ekaterinv
2012-05-22 08:22 pm UTC (link)
He calls "M.R. Mathias" a pen name.

I swear I've heard of this guy somewhere before. He seems really familiar. Even his books seem familiar.

His website is... evocative.

In the first paragraph of his book The Sword and the Dragon: "No one attempted the climb two days in a row before." Oh my.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]seiberwing, 2012-05-22 08:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]northen_light36, 2012-05-22 10:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]librarianmouse, 2012-05-23 04:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]brennalarose, 2012-05-24 12:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]full_metal_ox, 2012-05-24 08:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]brennalarose, 2012-05-25 04:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tangentialone, 2012-05-25 12:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]full_metal_ox, 2012-05-23 12:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ekaterinv, 2012-05-23 01:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]kosaginolegion, 2012-05-24 11:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]full_metal_ox, 2012-05-24 08:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kosaginolegion, 2012-05-24 09:18 pm UTC

[info]phosfate
2012-05-22 08:28 pm UTC (link)
"The prosecution has sickened us with grizzly photographs of the crime scene."

Gold.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]dorothy1901, 2012-05-22 08:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2012-05-23 05:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2012-05-23 05:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tez, 2012-05-23 05:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mirhanda, 2012-05-23 03:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]athersgeo, 2012-05-23 07:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cmdr_zoom, 2012-05-23 03:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]full_metal_ox, 2012-05-24 07:28 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]duraniedrama, 2012-05-25 01:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ymfaery, 2012-05-26 06:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]cmdr_zoom, 2012-05-27 01:51 am UTC

[info]ladybirdsleeps
2012-05-22 09:18 pm UTC (link)
M.R.Mathias' publisher, Michael Robb Mathias Jr.

Somehow, the fact that he manages to refer to himself in both the first and third person is just so, so fitting.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2012-05-23 03:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]kosaginolegion, 2012-05-24 11:11 am UTC

[info]frenzy
2012-05-23 12:06 am UTC (link)
He used a pen? Rookie. My bestseller was written in blood, only some of which was my own. ONE DRAFT.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sandglass, 2012-05-23 12:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]khym_chanur, 2012-05-23 01:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]spacelogic, 2012-05-23 03:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]librarianmouse, 2012-05-23 04:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ekaterinv, 2012-05-23 05:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]spawn_of_kong, 2012-05-23 11:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2012-05-23 06:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rosehiptea, 2012-05-23 03:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cmdr_zoom, 2012-05-23 03:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladyvyola, 2012-05-25 09:28 pm UTC

[info]ecchaniz0r
2012-05-23 12:13 am UTC (link)
WITH A PEN IN A PRISON CELL.

UPHILL BOTH WAYS

DURING A BLIZZARD

AT NIGHT

COVERED WITH BEES

BAREFOOT

ON A GRAVEL ROAD

IN THE MOUNTAINS

Gods this guy is a lolfest XD

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sgaana, 2012-05-23 03:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]spawn_of_kong, 2012-05-23 11:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]iamnotyourmuse, 2012-05-24 01:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]spawn_of_kong, 2012-05-24 11:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jat_sapphire, 2012-05-23 03:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gerorin, 2012-05-23 04:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2012-05-23 04:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]iamnotyourmuse, 2012-05-23 04:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2012-05-23 05:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2012-05-23 03:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cmdr_zoom, 2012-05-23 04:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ladyvyola, 2012-05-23 02:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]spawn_of_kong, 2012-05-23 06:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2012-05-23 07:36 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]spawn_of_kong, 2012-05-24 06:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]tehrin, 2012-05-24 05:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2012-05-24 06:48 pm UTC

[info]khym_chanur
2012-05-23 01:00 am UTC (link)
And if Stephen King suddenly started King Publishing would he be a self publisher?

I'm pretty sure the answer to that is "yes".

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]yattara, 2012-05-23 02:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]luxshine, 2012-05-23 03:37 pm UTC

[info]dreamworld
2012-05-23 01:02 am UTC (link)
Who the hell designed that website? It's like a wormhole back to Geocities in 1996.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]kitesareevil, 2012-05-23 02:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]mirhanda, 2012-05-23 03:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]jat_sapphire, 2012-05-24 12:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]alya1989262, 2012-05-24 06:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cmdr_zoom, 2012-05-24 09:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]white_tean, 2012-05-24 12:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]alya1989262, 2012-05-24 06:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2012-05-24 07:17 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]white_tean, 2012-05-26 10:33 am UTC

[info]sepiamagpie
2012-05-23 02:31 am UTC (link)
☥ Ɓestselling Єpic Ƒantasy ƛuthor, M.Ʀ.Mathias ☥Award Winning Horror ƛuthor, Michael Ʀobb Mathias & ☥ Master Ɯizard, @ƊahgMahn ☥

Master Wizard, eh? 'I cast magic missile at the glaringly obvious'

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]sepiamagpie, 2012-05-23 02:34 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sandglass, 2012-05-23 02:48 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tehrin, 2012-05-24 09:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sockospice, 2012-05-26 09:00 am UTC

[info]sandglass
2012-05-23 02:46 am UTC (link)
One of Mathias's tweets: @FantasyFaction FACT – My post will have three times the number of hits as you have followers. I broke NO rules! #NAZI #Censorship #InEffect

Oh, that is just delightful! Pageviews means they agree with you? I read the whole thing to laugh at him.

I want to know how I am a small press, if I am outselling Robin Hobb and Terry Goodkind and Tolkien? lmao

He...outsells Tolkein? In what universe?

@mdlachlan @FantasyFaction Only industry people CARE about commas. Everyone else is enjoying the story. You could learn a lot from me.

I CARE ABOUT COMMAS. I super duper capslock care about commas. They are awesome. How else do you make your sentences understandable? ALL HAIL COMMAS.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]khym_chanur, 2012-05-23 03:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]gerorin, 2012-05-23 04:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]risha, 2012-05-23 03:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]bitca, 2012-05-23 07:56 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]singe, 2012-05-25 12:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nifflet, 2012-05-23 10:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sandglass, 2012-05-23 11:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ekaterinv, 2012-05-24 04:31 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]dreamworld, 2012-05-24 12:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]paladin, 2012-05-23 11:02 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]solelyfictional, 2012-05-24 09:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]full_metal_ox, 2012-05-25 12:32 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nightwithmoon, 2012-05-26 05:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]full_metal_ox, 2012-05-26 07:15 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]aewgliriel, 2012-05-29 01:33 pm UTC

[info]iamnotyourmuse
2012-05-23 03:44 am UTC (link)
Oh thank goodness! I needed some good funny wank to read.

His delusion is beautiful. It really is.

(Reply to this)


[info]yattara
2012-05-23 02:02 pm UTC (link)
Twitter has a bestselling list?

*laughs herself sick at the delusion*

(Reply to this)


[info]arionhunter
2012-05-23 03:31 pm UTC (link)
Bonus fun: His Reader's Favorite "award" is from an online award mill.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ekaterinv, 2012-05-23 08:33 pm UTC

[info]mirhanda
2012-05-23 03:38 pm UTC (link)
That website reminds me of something from geocities circa 1997. hahaha

(Reply to this)


[info]cmdr_zoom
2012-05-23 03:54 pm UTC (link)
I am a SERIOUS AUTHOR u gaiz!

(Reply to this)


[info]alya1989262
2012-05-23 04:50 pm UTC (link)
From an interview he did:

Are you a traditionally published author or indie? I am a self published author.

...

Other highlights include:

What made you decide this route? I had been querying, and I received a response stating that my work was great, but my criminal record scared them.

What was your biggest resource of information as an indie author? Honestly? The Thesaurus and the Dictionary that work in MSWord.

If you were a superhero what would your name be? Captain Corn Flake… I don’t know, probably The Dragon!

My favorite writing snack is wine and fruit snacks, do you have a favorite? Tortilla chips, with queso, or Cheetoes, always with crystal light lemonade.

He's like an overgrown nerdboy!

And an excerpt from his next fantasy novel, emphasis mine:

Hyden rose and shoved himself away from the table. His chair went tumbling over behind him with a force that startled the others. “No,” he yelled. “The silver skull is my responsibility, and I swear I’ll get it back from her.” He heaved a heavy breath. Putting his closed fists on the table, he leaned over and looked High King Mikahl directly in the eyes. “You use the power of that sword to get Phen and the princess out of harm’s way. I will fix the follies of my family like I should’ve done long ago.”

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]tiye, 2012-05-23 05:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]cmdr_zoom, 2012-05-24 12:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]full_metal_ox, 2012-05-24 07:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]librarianmouse, 2012-05-23 07:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]mirhanda, 2012-05-23 07:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ekaterinv, 2012-05-24 04:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]tehrin, 2012-05-24 06:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]full_metal_ox, 2012-05-24 10:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]sandglass, 2012-05-25 12:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]phosfate, 2012-06-04 12:24 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]librarianmouse, 2012-06-04 02:35 am UTC

[info]paladin
2012-05-23 11:05 pm UTC (link)
Out of the whole thing, the part I find most impressive is that he thinks major publishing houses have fewer than twenty titles in their inventory. It's like he's never even seen a bookstore, in real life or on the internet.

(Reply to this)


[info]b_jellybean
2012-05-24 10:29 am UTC (link)
I find myself really, really curious as to what he was in prison for.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]life_on_mars, 2012-05-24 01:07 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]paladin, 2012-05-25 04:56 pm UTC

[info]brennalarose
2012-05-24 12:18 pm UTC (link)
I am not a small press or even self published. M. R. Mathias' books are PUBLISHED by Michael Robb Mathias Jr.

...I just laughed myself dizzy...

(Reply to this)


[info]tangentialone
2012-05-25 12:30 am UTC (link)
I do like how he makes a public post and then gets snippy when people other than mods inevitably read and comment on it. Because only MODS were supposed to look! :(

(Reply to this)


[info]ahiru
2012-05-25 01:15 am UTC (link)
M. R. Mathias' books are PUBLISHED by Michael Robb Mathias Jr.

M. R. Mathias' books are also edited by his editor Michael R. Mathias, and are accepted for publishing with help from his agent Michael R. M. Each book is of course dedicated to his biggest fan, the mysterious M.R.M. Jr.

(Reply to this)


[info]duraniedrama
2012-05-25 01:20 am UTC (link)
Few things are more wearying than dealing with a writer who has not yet crossed the Dunning-Kruger Threshold.

(Reply to this)


[info]octavia
2012-05-25 01:30 pm UTC (link)
Who would have the audacity to question all those five-star reviews when so many of them are clearly so well deserved?

(if you check out some of these reviewers, there's a definite pattern)

(Reply to this)


[info]octavia
2012-05-25 03:03 pm UTC (link)
The trilogy I wrote in prison for drugs has been a Kindle bestseller for 23 months straight.

He wrote it for drugs.

"You want pot? Only for a Dick King story."

(Reply to this)


[info]lied_ohne_worte
2012-05-25 03:33 pm UTC (link)
Oh, the irony. He has published The First Ten Steps: Ten proven steps to build a solid foundation for your ebook using free social networking. I wonder how that's working out for him.

(Reply to this)



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