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Author wank, oh boy!
(Thank you to a mouse on wank_report for the following post which I am plagiarizing)

Self-published author Michael Robb Matthias make a self-promotional post in the forums of Fantasy Faction. Fantasy Faction is perfectly okay with authors promoting their work, provided they do it in the proper place, but moves said post into the "self-published and small presses" category where it belongs.

Robb duly takes this for the TERRIBLE INSULT that it is.

I am not a small press. I am an author with 18 titles for sale. That is more titles that some big publishing houses. I have advertising currently running in Locus, Publishers Weekly, Fantasy and Sci Fi, and Revolver magazines. I have blog advertising across the entire blog-o-sphere. I am not a small press or even self published. M. R. Mathias' books are PUBLISHED by Michael Robb Mathias Jr. and should be treated no differently that any big named publishers title. WHY? Because I do my job as a publisher too. Please quit sending my posts into the self published/small press thread. My titles are neither. I have 92k twitter followers @DahgMahn and 10 titles in their genre bestselling list. There is nothing self pubbed, or small, about books written by M. R. Mathias.
Thank you,
M.R.Mathias' publisher, Michael Robb Mathias Jr.

Commenters point out that this is... not really the best way to go about things and are accused of e-bullying, being sick, petty, and "jelous".

The mods close things despite the protests of a crowd of gleeful spectators on Twitter who aren't ready for the drama to end yet. Fantasy Faction posts a follow-up the next day, including a summary of the events on the forum, some mildly worrisome self-glorifying tweets, a few reviews indicating these glorious works of fiction are less than glorious, and Mr. Robb's claims of how we're all just jealous.

The fun continues on Twitter, where among other things, Mr. Robb calls Fantasy Faction Nazis and complains of censorship. He has at least four aliases on Twitter: @Michael_Robb @BookReTweeter @MrStubbs @NocturnMP3. But don't worry, they are, he informs people, all "licensed". Are your twitter handles "licensed," peons? I THINK NOT!

https://twitter.com/#!/dahgmahn seems to be where most of the action is -- but at one point, NocturnMP3 (admitted as being another sock) steps into defend...himself:

@fantasyfaction You suck, but only for banning M.R. He did NOTHING WRONG!

This entire conversation is comedy gold, of course.

@Gollancz I wanted to market my books to faction readers not indie authors. Its basic buisness. I dont want to now. Faction is all BULLIES!

Further highlights include this, to author M.D Lachlan:

@mdlachlan Ah you have publishers? 5th draft? You must suck as a writer. My #bestseller was wriiten with a pen in a prison cell. Two drafts.

WITH A PEN IN A PRISON CELL.

For your pleasure, you may also marvel at the spinning skulls and note the name of the main character of his latest book on his website.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	ecchaniz0r 2012-05-23 12:13 am UTC (link)
	WITH A PEN IN A PRISON CELL. UPHILL BOTH WAYS DURING A BLIZZARD AT NIGHT COVERED WITH BEES BAREFOOT ON A GRAVEL ROAD IN THE MOUNTAINS Gods this guy is a lolfest XD (Reply to this)(Thread)

	sgaana 2012-05-23 03:05 am UTC (link)
	IN A CAVE. WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	spawn_of_kong 2012-05-23 11:13 am UTC (link)
	You called? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	iamnotyourmuse 2012-05-24 01:29 am UTC (link)
	Oh goodness. May I yoink? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	spawn_of_kong 2012-05-24 11:34 am UTC (link)
	Go right ahead. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	jat_sapphire 2012-05-23 03:18 am UTC (link)
	BARTENDING IN THE DAAAAAAAAAAARRRRK! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	gerorin 2012-05-23 04:17 am UTC (link)
	WHILE OUTWALKING A HURRICANE (Reply to this)(Parent)

puipui
2012-05-23 04:26 am UTC (link)

He had to get up in the morning at 10 o'clock at night, half an hour before he went to bed, eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day writing his first draft and pay the prison warden for permission to write in his own blood, and then when he got released, his publisher, who was also him, would kill him and then dance about on his grave singing "Hallelujah" before forcing him to write out his second draft longhand in the dirt with the tip of his own tongue!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	iamnotyourmuse 2012-05-23 04:43 am UTC (link)
	But you try and tell the young people today that... and they won't believe ya'. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	puipui 2012-05-23 05:05 am UTC (link)
	<3 (Reply to this)(Parent)

	ecchaniz0r 2012-05-23 03:59 pm UTC (link)
	I just almost spat generic cola everywhere. This wins XD (Reply to this)(Parent)

	cmdr_zoom 2012-05-23 04:01 pm UTC (link)
	Perfect. :) (Reply to this)(Parent)

	ladyvyola 2012-05-23 02:52 pm UTC (link)
	A good glass of Château de Chasselas for you! (But you'd probably be glad just to have the price of a cup of tea, right?) (Reply to this)(Parent)

	spawn_of_kong 2012-05-23 06:22 pm UTC (link)
	COVERED WITH BEES As an apiphobe, all I can say is: D: D: D: D: D: (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	ecchaniz0r 2012-05-23 07:36 pm UTC (link)
	ACK! sorry about that. FTPs beverage of choice I run yowling from bees too so yeah. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	spawn_of_kong 2012-05-24 06:31 pm UTC (link)
	The zoo I started volunteering at apparently gets visited by huge bees and wasps during the summer. It'll take all my nerves not to run away screaming if/when they come. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	tehrin 2012-05-24 05:58 am UTC (link)
	By pen, he means his penis. There is a lot of snow in the mountains. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	ecchaniz0r 2012-05-24 06:48 pm UTC (link)
	WITH HIS PEN-15! (Reply to this)(Parent)

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