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the_villainess ([info]teratologist) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2004-02-24 14:58:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:Blessed
Current music:Playgirl - Ladytron

Catholic wank - no Gibson, no gay marriage.
This gem is small, and rather old, but it's like a wank haiku - a short, restrained, elegant example of the species.

From time to time I nose about a forum for Christian (mainly Catholic) sf/fantasy writers. You get a lot of discussion of how great Tolkien is, and how awful Harry Potter is, but whatever. Most of the posters are pretty well-educated, and literate, and think things through.... although in their own particular paradigm, where the enlightenment is the "endarkenment" and so forth.

Sometimes, though, something really pushes their buttons.

Special points of interest include:

1. Referring to the Virgin Mary as though she were a close personal friend of the OP.
2. Construing a simple action that would appear totally innocuous to most of the modern world as a personal insult.
3. Praying 'at' people instead of 'with' them.


(Post a new comment)


[info]sagralisse
2004-02-24 09:37 pm UTC (link)
The poor dears. It's terrible that they should find such an insignificant thing so offensive. We should definitely write some porn for them.

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[info]yadda
2004-02-24 10:05 pm UTC (link)
I'm thinking bibleslash.

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[info]sagralisse
2004-02-24 10:29 pm UTC (link)
I just realized my earlier comment sounded like those girls that shriek in delight at the thought of shocking some poor uptight schmuck with teh Gay Porn. Which is a funny-at-fifteen thing but not so much when you're forty*mumble*.

But it you wrote a little secret story about them going AFT with Aslan and Galadriel and Galadriel brought her strap on and then you just kept that story between you and God, it'd be something like a prayer, wouldn't it?

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[info]yadda
2004-02-24 10:35 pm UTC (link)
... um, sure, why not. I'm going to back away slowly now.

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[info]vengeance_bean
2004-02-24 11:00 pm UTC (link)
But are you praying with God or at God?

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[info]sagralisse
2004-02-25 12:46 am UTC (link)
At, I think. No wait! With! Definitely With.

If God created everything, didn't she create kinky sexual fantasies too?

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(Deleted post)

[info]sagralisse
2004-02-26 02:25 pm UTC (link)
::claps with delight:: Thanks, your holiness!

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[info]smo
2004-02-25 04:41 pm UTC (link)
Is that Quatre and Trowa in your icon? They're so cute!

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[info]vengeance_bean
2004-02-25 08:17 pm UTC (link)
It is indeed Quatre and Trowa! And I SO want to snuggle your icon!

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[info]smo
2004-02-25 08:25 pm UTC (link)
So does mine. ;)

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[info]teratologist
2004-02-24 11:04 pm UTC (link)
Certainly. For all values of God where God = me.

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[info]coyotegirl
2004-02-25 08:33 am UTC (link)
It - um - er - am I a bad person that I still take a wicked sort of delight in the thought of a Very Very Religious Person who would yell and scream at me if she found out what I believe and like running across some happy fun yaoi and fainting?

I understand it's immature, but it makes me feel better after I've been screamed at to have little fantasies about shocking the pants off them.

*looks up at previous sentences* In other words: I'm ten years old today, and my sentences are so run-on that they win the 100-meter sprint.

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[info]sagralisse
2004-02-25 01:58 pm UTC (link)
I guess I saw the bad side of that with all the Domlijah tinhat crap. I think it was kittypantz who was horribly offended with someone who said Dom and Elijah weren't gay, and decided that the best revenge would be to jam a lot of porny Domlijah slash under their hotel room door when they went to C4. Some of her friends talked her out of it, but she honestly seemed to think that would make some impact. I thought the whole idea showed that she had an insufficient grip on reality.

If you're getting screamed at then fantasize away, by all means. The religious people gave up on me years and years ago so I don't have much of an excuse.

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[info]lots42
2004-02-25 12:03 pm UTC (link)
Crossover Bible slash! Jesus/Wolverine!

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[info]phosfate
2004-02-25 06:25 pm UTC (link)
*ka-SPORFLE!*

Oh, God. Oh, pain.

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(Deleted post)

[info]sagralisse
2004-02-26 02:34 pm UTC (link)
It'd be kinda cool, I think. Wolverine could open up a can of whoop-ass on the Romans and he and Jesus could run off hand-in-hand (sort of). They could happily ever after in a little house where they'd raise chickens and milk goats.

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[info]rann
2004-02-25 12:06 am UTC (link)
*headdesk*
... There there, baby Naga... someday, the stupid people will be dead, and God will Uncle-thwap them.

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[info]mirabellawotr
2004-02-25 12:08 am UTC (link)
Gah! That's obscene! Give 'em unholy whatfor, Bern! And pray for him!

Wow. When did praying for someone start meaning "Dear God, please send this person to BURN IN HELL FOR THE DISGUSTING OBSCENE SINNER HE IS!!"?

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[info]visp
2004-02-26 02:25 am UTC (link)
Umm... since the beginning of time?

...and grant me thy power, that I might blast mine enemies into tiny bits!

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[info]princessdot
2004-02-25 01:05 am UTC (link)
What is still boggling my ikkle brain is that their smilies are so....MAD. I thought they were above such "worldly" manifestations of negative emotion.

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[info]iczer6
2004-02-25 01:22 am UTC (link)
The paranoia on these people. I guess it's impossible that the seller simply grabed a piece of paper for wrapping without looking at it. It must be she's trying to convert them!

I guess this means that when I got those doujinshi wrapped in old Shonen Jump pages, it must mean the seller really wants me to watch Fist of the North Star.

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Fist of the North Star
[info]deoridhe
2004-02-25 03:38 am UTC (link)
Just read the first graphic novel. The rest isn't worth much, but the initial story kicks ass. 8)

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"You are already dead!"
[info]gorogoro
2004-02-25 03:56 am UTC (link)
Exploding heads for everyone!

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Re: "You are already dead!"
[info]deoridhe
2004-02-25 02:46 pm UTC (link)
*claps and cheers* Not to mention relationship angst!!!

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Re: "You are already dead!"
[info]iczer6
2004-02-25 07:05 pm UTC (link)
"You are already dead wanked"

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[info]rogue
2004-02-25 04:21 am UTC (link)
... Uhm.

What, exactly, is birth control propoganda going to do to them? Hurt them? Yell at them? Steal their babies? Change their beliefes?

My brain hurts.

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[info]apoplexia
2004-02-25 06:46 pm UTC (link)
My miraculous medal
wrapped in birth control
propaganda. That's obscene!

I'd better go and take back
my pile of diatribe!
Somewhere a wanker laughs.

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[info]kijikun
2004-02-25 08:34 pm UTC (link)
although in their own particular paradigm,

Pair of dimes?
/Guybrush


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[info]visp
2004-02-26 02:29 am UTC (link)
these offenses-to-the-eye-and-human-nature.

Because 10 squalling brats on a dirt floor is so much more visually appealing.

(Reply to this)

  
   
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