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Nicolae ([info]nicolae) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2004-04-13 15:56:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:*sporfle!*

God created the Internet
My first wank! Be gentle... Take me hard.

So, I was poking around christianitysex, as one does, and in between the arguments about oral sex and gay marriage, I came across this gem.

The original poster feels that, on a standard keyboard layout, "sex" and "poop" are typed with different hands, ne'er the twain shall meet.

One person points out that the values in Leviticus aren't generally accepted now. Another is appropriately tongue-in-cheek.

But this reaches its pinnacle with the poster who points out that God didn't invent the keyboard.

(I confess that, before I posted this here, I couldn't help adding my two cents.)

Can you believe that a man can invent such thing as computers and internet? No way, too much for a human.


(Post a new comment)


[info]selene_avis
2004-04-13 09:13 pm UTC (link)
Shall I giggle or headdesk?

Recipe for Wank

1. Add one mistranslated, taken out of context Bible passage that was latter over ruled.
2. Add a crackpot, tinhatter theory involving the formatting of the keyboard.'
3. Claim that God created the keyboard.
4. A pinch of salt, two dashes of sarcasm, and allow to be brought to the notice of a otf_wank member.

But, really, as sex and poop are on opposite sides of the keyboard, doesn't that just say that sex and poop shouldn't be mixed? After all, both the words butt and anal require both hands to type, so you can't deny their mixture.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]pipssister
2004-04-14 01:31 am UTC (link)
1. Add one mistranslated, taken out of context Bible passage that was latter over ruled.

I don't know why, but it always annoys me if someone uses that "well, it was later overruled" argument. I'm pro-gay, but I'm also Jewish. It just seems so bizarre to me. It's like people are saying, "No! Don't hate queers if you're Christian, only JEWS do that." I'm not quite sure what feels wrong about it to me, especially since I don't consider that part of the Bible (and actually, some other parts of it, too) to have a whole lot of merit. But even still, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I can't really put into words why.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]nicolae, 2004-04-14 01:38 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pipssister, 2004-04-14 01:51 am UTC
(no subject) - ataniell93, 2004-04-14 05:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rogue, 2004-04-14 03:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]iczer6, 2004-04-14 07:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]vassilissa, 2004-04-14 10:35 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2004-04-14 01:18 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]pipssister, 2004-04-14 02:01 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]rhi_silverflame, 2004-04-14 02:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]selene_avis, 2004-04-14 03:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]pipssister, 2004-04-14 01:57 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]selene_avis, 2004-04-14 07:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]iczer6, 2004-04-15 12:43 am UTC
Re: - [info]pipssister, 2004-04-15 03:42 am UTC

[info]melange
2004-04-13 09:55 pm UTC (link)
Damn, that community has ten different kinds of crazy. This is my favorite. Especially this: It's bad for society for people to use sex like it's a toy. Sex is a loaded gun. Every shot could make a kid come into this world deprived of a decent father figure.

I wonder how this guy can wank with such a heavy chip on his shoulder.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]nicolae
2004-04-13 10:38 pm UTC (link)
I know wank in the sense of, you know, WANK, but how did it come to mean 'say dumb stuff on the web'?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]melange, 2004-04-13 11:25 pm UTC
Mental Masterbation - [info]deoridhe, 2004-04-13 11:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]apoplexia, 2004-04-14 12:02 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nicolae, 2004-04-14 12:07 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]apoplexia, 2004-04-14 12:20 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]nicolae, 2004-04-14 12:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jaina, 2004-04-14 02:09 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]jrs1980, 2004-04-20 05:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]sagralisse, 2004-04-14 01:16 am UTC

redwarrior
2004-04-17 07:51 pm UTC (link)
*dies laughing*

I bet you anything this poster is male and is thinking about getting his rocks off. "Loaded gun"? "Come"? It can't get any more obvious.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]melange, 2004-04-18 02:47 pm UTC

[info]panthea
2004-04-13 10:11 pm UTC (link)
And once again, the dykes are overlooked. Sniff.

Oh, wait a minute-- I mean, "yay!"

(Reply to this)

(Reply from suspended user)

[info]nicolae
2004-04-13 10:37 pm UTC (link)
Depends on where your hands are for that, I guess.

...man, that sounded wrong.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]bitca
2004-04-14 02:37 pm UTC (link)
WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE DVORAK!!

Or for that matter, those one-handed keyboards out there...

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]smo, 2004-04-14 05:19 pm UTC

[info]eiviiaru
2004-04-13 11:08 pm UTC (link)
I laughed pretty hard at this, up to and including magicalyak's presumption that the inventor of the keyboard must have been homophobic.

(Can't you see it now? The reason "sex" and "poop" are typed with different hands comes down to the evol PR gay-basher conspiracy!)

(Reply to this)


[info]eiviiaru
2004-04-13 11:13 pm UTC (link)
Argh, posting again, yes... but it just occurred to me:

"Sex" is typed entirely with the left hand, "poop" with the right. However, "love" requires both hands.

I think this means that scat fetishists are the only people in society capable of true romance. If you love your girl, buy her a scheisse film!

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]beccastareyes
2004-04-13 11:31 pm UTC (link)
Well it just occured to me that I am a hunt-and-peck typist... so does that mean I am an immoral pervert who is goign to hell? Or just someone who needs to learn to type?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]apoplexia, 2004-04-13 11:55 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]eiviiaru, 2004-04-14 05:08 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ecchaniz0r, 2004-04-14 01:27 pm UTC

[info]jyuu
2004-04-13 11:47 pm UTC (link)
One says, dad and mom are on opposite sides of the keyboard

Replied, which is why they should be different people, not dad and dad.

Whassa?

So poop and sex are on different sides of the keyboard and so shall not mix.

Mom and dad are on different sides of the keyboard and this means they are supposed to mix (as opposed to dad and dad because OMG it's only done on one side)?

Brill. XD

And "My fallacious argument brings all the ladies to the yard" is making me giggle like WHOA.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Logic
[info]deoridhe
2004-04-14 12:40 am UTC (link)
They've practiced logic in a religious context - which translates to "I've decided what is correct. Now I shall interpret all data to support that."

It's amusing... but oh so sad!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Logic - [info]nicolae, 2004-04-14 01:03 am UTC
Re: Logic - [info]deoridhe, 2004-04-14 01:48 pm UTC
Re: Logic - [info]jyuu, 2004-04-14 01:16 am UTC
Re: Logic - ataniell93, 2004-04-14 05:14 pm UTC
Re: Logic - [info]gal_montag, 2004-04-14 06:50 pm UTC
Re: Logic - [info]selene_avis, 2004-04-14 07:16 pm UTC
Re: Logic - [info]puipui, 2004-04-15 07:16 am UTC
Re: Logic - [info]gal_montag, 2004-04-15 05:02 pm UTC
Re: Logic - [info]cpip, 2004-04-15 08:20 pm UTC
Re: Logic - [info]gal_montag, 2004-04-16 01:10 am UTC
Re: Logic - [info]gal_montag, 2004-04-14 06:49 pm UTC
Re: Logic - [info]deoridhe, 2004-04-14 07:21 pm UTC
Re: Logic - redwarrior, 2004-04-17 07:54 pm UTC

[info]ecchaniz0r
2004-04-14 01:29 pm UTC (link)
Icon adoration no jutsu! :D

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]moonjaguar
2004-04-14 12:06 am UTC (link)
Leviticus=Autowank.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]apoplexia
2004-04-14 12:24 am UTC (link)
You think? I find it's great for all occasions. Someone asked me what I thought about combined washer/dryers and I quoted 19:19 at them. Well, it wasn't exactly 19:19, but there were similar sentiments. I mean, really, just the thought of it makes my skin crawl. It's unnatural.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Cotton/polyester blend - [info]deoridhe, 2004-04-14 12:42 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]moonjaguar, 2004-04-14 02:34 am UTC

[info]moonjaguar
2004-04-14 12:13 am UTC (link)
IDIOT GIRL! YOU MAKE BABY JESUS CRY!

Nah... just makes him a li'l cranky.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]nicolae, 2004-04-14 12:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]moonjaguar, 2004-04-14 12:20 am UTC

[info]vassilissa
2004-04-14 01:31 am UTC (link)
Bread and milk are on opposite sides of the keyboard, therefore God says you should never have bread with milk! I'm a genius theologian!!!!!1one!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]nicolae, 2004-04-14 01:42 am UTC
OT - [info]lurker32, 2004-04-14 02:30 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]fiatincantatum, 2004-04-14 03:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]vassilissa, 2004-04-14 10:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]fiatincantatum, 2004-04-14 12:33 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]vassilissa, 2004-04-15 02:14 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]vassilissa, 2004-04-14 10:36 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]lemone, 2004-04-14 04:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]vassilissa, 2004-04-14 05:17 am UTC

[info]lurker32
2004-04-14 02:29 am UTC (link)
...

...

"Sex" and "feces", however, are on the same side of the keyboard, proving that the only people who should have anal sex are those who are old enough not to say "poop".

Wow, you can prove anything this way.

(Reply to this)


[info]shoiryu
2004-04-14 03:10 am UTC (link)
...*just... posts with new icon*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]panthea, 2004-04-14 03:22 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]puipui, 2004-04-15 07:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]panthea, 2004-04-15 09:57 am UTC
Hmmmm...
[info]llama_treats
2004-04-14 05:31 am UTC (link)
Based on the OP's friends list, I can't tell whether they're actually a troll or simply a moron.

(Reply to this)


[info]ruaki
2004-04-14 06:10 am UTC (link)
Best argument against homosexuality yet OMG! I must tell all that the keyboard is the new Bible!

No, really, what the shit.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]crickets, 2004-04-15 07:51 pm UTC

[info]gal_montag
2004-04-14 06:48 pm UTC (link)
*laughs uncontrollably*

All these people who want to live by the rules laid out in Leviticus should check out Duteronomy. There is some crazy shite in there.

(And I've been talking to a pastor lately who believes that it's immoral to speed and not pay taxes. It's fascinating...)

(Reply to this)


[info]guinevere33
2004-04-15 06:52 am UTC (link)
So, I was poking around [info]christianitysex, as one does...

Orange juice. In my keyboard. All your fault.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

(no subject) - [info]apoplexia, 2004-04-15 03:42 pm UTC

  
   
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