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the last pirate queen ([info]ktnb) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2004-04-22 08:05:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood: annoyed

Yet another [info]knitting wank.
What is it about the [info]knitting community that causes so much wank?

[info]coflower posts to the community asking a question about how to fix the yarn in her current project. Despite her long-winded, swear-word filled ramble, she manages to get a few helpful responses. [info]tashabear even draws her a diagram to explain how to fix her stitches. When [info]coflower bitches about how tight the yarn is, [info]tashabear makes a a throwaway comment about not using acrylic (e.g. cheap) yarn for your projects.

And then the bitch-gloves come off. Some highlights:

"I've been using acrylic yarn for longer than most of you have been alive."

"Fiber snobs make baby Jesus cry."

"Next time I have a problem I won't consult here because yarn snobs really make me want to punch kittens."

"I'm not a snob!" "Are too!" "Am not! No tagbacks!"

The wank continues in various threads as people pop up to defend both [info]coflower and [info]tashabear, along with the usual why can't we all just get along? comments.

[info]tashabear finally decides to leave the sandbox after all the abuse. But literally two hours later, she comes back to the community, linking to a whiny post from coflower's journal and proclaiming that the bitch is back.

Post-wank community entries:

"And I thought Usenet knitters were bad!"

And my favorite:

"Please stop wanking before we get put on LJDrama again!"

Seriously, I thought knitting was supposed to relieve tension, not cause it.


(Post a new comment)


[info]sagralisse
2004-04-22 02:46 pm UTC (link)
It's hard to resolve arguments like that over the internet. I think it's bbecause you can't reach out and yank your opponent baldheaded.

(Reply to this)


[info]smo
2004-04-22 02:54 pm UTC (link)
You know, if "yarn snob" is the worst thing tashabear ever gets called on the internet, she should thank her lucky stars. Also, scanning, cropping and posting a diagram isn't the Sistine Chapel ceiling-painting she makes it out to be, but who's counting?

On the other hand, if coflower wanted to bitch about someone on the same community as she was and not suffer the consequences, she really should have friends-locked that post.

Verdict: this court finds both parties equally wanky. Plaintiff and defendant are hereby sentenced to be strung up by the heels with crappy synthetic yarn and poked with crochet hooks until they agree to act like grownups. Case dismissed.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Punishment
[info]deoridhe
2004-04-22 03:05 pm UTC (link)
Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Can I poke them? Please?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Punishment
[info]smo
2004-04-22 03:07 pm UTC (link)
Have at 'em, Deo-chan!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Punishment
[info]deoridhe
2004-04-23 07:33 pm UTC (link)
Yaaaaaaaaaay!!! *pokes and prods*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Punishment
[info]smo
2004-04-23 08:52 pm UTC (link)
*sets up video camera*

Ooh, shiny.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


(Anonymous)
2004-04-22 06:52 pm UTC (link)
Heh.

I misread that as crotch hooks. I was thinking 'well that's rather harsh....although inventive.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]smo
2004-04-22 07:48 pm UTC (link)
Owwwww. No, no crotch hooks, please and thank you.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]littlest_lurker
2004-04-23 01:55 am UTC (link)
I agree. *winces*

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[info]lurker32
2004-04-22 04:18 pm UTC (link)
It could have been sacred yarn from Jesus for all I care

But he's all out of pubic hairs!

Dude, [info]coflower, go take your meds already.

(Reply to this)


[info]mirabellawotr
2004-04-22 04:26 pm UTC (link)
It could have been sacred yarn from Jesus for all I care

No, no, no. We did that wank already.

And yeah, seriously, I call wank on both sides.

(Reply to this)

My brain just imploded
[info]llama_treats
2004-04-22 05:40 pm UTC (link)
Knitting.

Wank.

Knitting Wank.

Knitting Wank</a>?!

*boom*

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: My brain just imploded
[info]janegraddell
2004-04-22 06:15 pm UTC (link)
There, there. It's always difficult the first time, I know. Have a spork, you'll soon feel better.

Me, I'm still boggling over the Sock Supremacists. And I thought the straight vs. circular needles people were scary....

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: My brain just imploded
[info]queenbead
2004-04-22 08:04 pm UTC (link)
circular needles 4 evah!!!

tee hee

~QB

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: My brain just imploded
[info]khym_chanur
2004-04-23 12:40 am UTC (link)
Sock Supremicists? I missed it; darn.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: My brain just imploded
[info]janegraddell
2004-04-23 03:15 am UTC (link)
It was, alas, in the now-deleted thread about Usenet knitters, which I didn't have the forethought to save. From what I gathered (and I could be misinterpreting, I only read it the one time), there's a mailing list devoted to knitting socks and the members have a variety of nasty names for knitters on other knitting lists. I'm not sure if it's that they think socks are the One True Project, or if they just think their list is that cool and the other lists that lame. Either way....

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: My brain just imploded
(Anonymous)
2004-04-24 03:52 pm UTC (link)
*dies*

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: My brain just imploded
[info]yadda
2004-04-22 09:24 pm UTC (link)
Dude, knitting once brought us (in my humble opinion) The Best Wank Ever. It involved the phrase "God's magic pubic hairs," enough said.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: My brain just imploded
[info]greekhoop
2004-04-23 09:49 am UTC (link)
So great was that wank I even still have the icon. *points*

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: My brain just imploded
[info]rann
2004-04-22 09:25 pm UTC (link)
Keep in mind, this is not only knitting wank... but it's not the first time we've had knitting wank on here.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: My brain just imploded
[info]notjo
2004-04-23 10:07 am UTC (link)
not...the...first...time?

What? It's KNITTING! Gah, it's not like they're knitting Harry Potter scarves. Are they?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: My brain just imploded
[info]bastet
2004-04-23 07:39 pm UTC (link)
BWAH!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]sarajayechan
2004-04-22 06:59 pm UTC (link)
...
I'd forgotten about the last knitting wank. Now another one pops up. O_o;; Jeez, this really says something about human nature if people get snippy over KNITTING and who's used acrylic yarn longer.

(Reply to this)


[info]queenbead
2004-04-22 08:03 pm UTC (link)
*snicker* this is too funny. tashabear is an invaluable resource when it comes to knitting and other fiber arts, I mean, she knows her stuff and usually is more than willing to help. However, sometimes she does come across as a wee bit harsh if she feels the person is being incompetent. It's times like these that remind me why I stay out of knitting and stick to the smaller knitting communities.

~QB the pseudo-fiber snob, but only because I have expensive taste ;-)

and p.s., I agree with the posters on the homespun issue. It's a bitch to knit with. I am currently making a sweater out of some of it and as God as my witness, I shall never attempt it ever again.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]janegraddell
2004-04-22 10:29 pm UTC (link)
I agree with the posters on the homespun issue. It's a bitch to knit with. I am currently making a sweater out of some of it and as God as my witness, I shall never attempt it ever again.

Euw. Homespun. That stuff is nasty. I've never even tried to knit with it because it feels so yukky when I touch it on the shelf. I love Lion Brand's Cotton-Ease, though. Soft and joyous on the needles, washable and inexpensive. I wouldn't use it for *really* nice stuff, but it's good for baby things that will be quickly outgrown.

My favorite material to work with is 100% wool, which sucks if one happens to live in the South. My compromise is Dalegarn's Baby Ull, which is whatever weight that comes between sport weight and sock weight. Fingering? Baby? Anyway, it makes fairly lightweight garments and is soft and lustrous and gorgeous and doesn't pill or fuzz. It also costs the freakin' earth. :)

(Reply to this)(Parent)


(Anonymous)
2004-04-26 10:01 pm UTC (link)
tashabear is an invaluable resource when it comes to knitting and other fiber arts, I mean, she knows her stuff and usually is more than willing to help. However, sometimes she does come across as a wee bit harsh if she feels the person is being incompetent.

Yeah, well, you should hear the things I don't say. ;-D (I cut my posting teeth on some extremely academic mailing lists, the sort of places that would make the average poster to knitting run away and cry.)

Even I thought I was being over-dramatic with the "I'm leaving!" "No I'm not!" stuff, but what can I say. It was 4am.

Tashabear

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]queenbead
2004-04-27 12:38 am UTC (link)
Yeah, well, you should hear the things I don't say

oh, I believe you :-) Part of why I'm not on knitting is due to the huge amount of beginner/repetitive knitting questions. I am thankful that a place like that exists for beginners to get the info they need so they can progress to a higher state of knitting. However, it's not the community for me :-)

~QB

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]smo
2004-04-22 08:09 pm UTC (link)
Post-wank community entries:

"And I thought Usenet knitters were bad!"

This entry has been deleted!

Anyone got a tissue?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]alpheratz
2004-04-22 11:30 pm UTC (link)
I only have one, and I already cried in it. :(

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]littlest_lurker
2004-04-23 02:00 am UTC (link)
I had one too, but I um...used it already.
...
What?

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]smo
2004-04-23 03:02 pm UTC (link)
Aw, pookie. *comforts you* Don't worry, there'll be another wank.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]mirabellawotr
2004-04-22 09:15 pm UTC (link)
I would like to propose that anyone over the age of seven who uses the phrase "potty-mouth" and means it be sentenced to spend the rest of their natural lives collecting kitty plates and Precious Moments figurines while clad in bright orange flower-print muumuus.

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[info]starfish
2004-04-23 12:29 am UTC (link)
But ...

how is that different from what they'd be doing anyway?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]smo
2004-04-23 07:06 pm UTC (link)
Word. Like, make them paint their walls black, dress like Morrissey, and collect piercings in odd places. Now THAT, to them, would be a punishment.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]janegraddell
2004-04-23 03:22 am UTC (link)
Thank you so much. You just gave me the mental image of Dolores Umbridge in a muumuu. That one's going to leave a scar.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]ladybirdsleeps
2004-04-23 07:05 pm UTC (link)
That reminds me of the time my mom and I got into a swordfight over which direction a proper cross stich should be in ...

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[info]smo
2004-04-23 07:07 pm UTC (link)
Like, with actual swords, or with needles of some sort?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]ladybirdsleeps
2004-04-24 06:12 am UTC (link)
Oh, real swords. I had to be taken to the emergency room for blood loss after she stabbed me in the thigh.

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[info]smo
2004-04-24 11:52 pm UTC (link)
...

Wow.

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[info]notjo
2004-04-23 08:30 pm UTC (link)
Your mom sounds very cool.

Unless of course they weren't real swords.

I must get into a sword fight with a parent soon.

Hmm... that could make dealing with the parents here a lot easier.

"My child is very smart! And good at English!"

"Don't make me get my sword, ma'am."

(Reply to this)(Parent)


(Anonymous)
2005-02-13 07:23 pm UTC (link)

Please check out some relevant pages dedicated to...

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