(Post a new comment)

	ladybirdsleeps 2004-04-27 03:50 am UTC (link)
	As someone who's having considerable difficulty going to college because of chronic health problems, I really, really want to kick the people who automatically assumed that this girl isn't going to her classes because she's lazy. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	tempslut 2004-04-27 04:11 am UTC (link)
	Me, too. My mental health problems, pre-current diagnosis, nearly caused me to flunk out of school. Given what I went through, it's a miracle I'm even graduating at all (next Saturday, after five years)! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	big_bad_wolf 2004-04-27 09:32 am UTC (link)
	RAH! Completely OT congratulations. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	tempslut 2004-04-27 07:08 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	nevadafighter 2004-04-27 04:56 am UTC (link)
	In all fairness, she never said that. She came across in her post as one of those "college is so hard so I'll just sleep in until noon" types and that's what people were reacting to. If she'd mentioned at the outset that it was health problems and other things preventing her from attending classes I doubt anyone would have jumped on her. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

ladybirdsleeps
2004-04-27 02:23 pm UTC (link)

A lot of people don't like sharing that type of information. If you've ever been chronically ill, you know that it can be very very uncomfortable for the other person, and therefore very tiresome for you.

As for her coming across as a lazy college student, there's nothing in her post that gives any clue as to why she isn't going to classes. People leapt to conclusions, as they often do.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	phosfate 2004-04-27 02:43 pm UTC (link)
	If you've ever been chronically ill, you know that it can be very very uncomfortable for the other person, and therefore very tiresome for you. Oh, Goddddddd, yes. (Reply to this)(Parent)

nevadafighter
2004-04-27 04:05 pm UTC (link)

True, but she didn't have to give full disclosure--just a hint; "I haven't been going to classes because of other issues" or something like that.

I'm not in any way excusing the jumping to conclusions, but the folks in the community have nothing to go on except what she writes, and "i dont go to classes" infers a conscious choice not to go, etc. and now I'M being the wanky one. >.<

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

iczer6
2004-04-27 07:57 pm UTC (link)

I'm not in any way excusing the jumping to conclusions, but the folks in the community have nothing to go on except what she writes, and "i dont go to classes" infers a conscious choice not to go, etc. and now I'M being the wanky one. >.<

I agree. She doesn't have to paste her medical records on the site, all she had to do was mention that she was some medical trouble.

And a part of me can't help but wonder if what's she saying is true, or if she's making a pity play.

Icz

(Reply to this)(Parent)

janegraddell
2004-04-27 05:00 am UTC (link)

Part of me agrees. I mean, my first thought when I read her post was that she sounded like someone who was getting overwhelmed, and who needed to take a break. I only got through my BA myself with the aid of a semester off and six months of Xanax. :)

In retrospect, though, I found it a bit odd that in her initial post she didn't give a reason, any reason, for not going:

im not doing so well in college. by 'not well' i mean i dont go to classes. thats kinda mock worthy itself.

After reading the whole thread, I'm afraid I'm now a little suspicious that she came up with all those problems with her parents and health insurance and hospital visits only after being criticized for "wasting" her education. I mean, why would health problems be mock-worthy?

*sigh* I've just seen way too many damn liars on the internet. Makes me not trust people.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

ladybirdsleeps
2004-04-27 02:31 pm UTC (link)

I don't think she'd shared that story yet when I left my previous comment.

But even though you're suspicious, you don't sound like you've automatically assumed that she's lying, like the people on that thread automatically assumed that she's a lazy bint. I suspect she's lying now as well, but that doesn't rule out the possibility that she's overwhelmed and coping with it poorly.

All of that said, it's not unheard of for someone with chronic health problems to brush them off like that. It can be an attempt to keep people from asking about their health (which is annoying), or it can be because they hate themselves for it, which may not be rational, but is certainly possible. I've probably written similar things in the past.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

janegraddell
2004-04-27 05:00 pm UTC (link)

All of that said, it's not unheard of for someone with chronic health problems to brush them off like that.

This is true. If she'd had to explain her problems six billion times already, I can understand her wanting to avoid the whole issue. And I can understand not wanting to admit that they can't afford insurance without her being a full-time student, especially if she's feeling guilty because she's not doing well in school. I can well remember feeling at that age that it would be the end of the world to take incompletes and make it up later. Even if she is making up the health issues, I can see her doing it because she doesn't feel that getting burned out is a good enough reason to drop out, and doesn't want to risk anyone making her feel guilty for it. Which is too bad, because I think that getting burned out is a damn good reason to take some time off.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

(Anonymous)
2004-04-27 05:31 pm UTC (link)

Which is too bad, because I think that getting burned out is a damn good reason to take some time off.

God, yes. My sister didn't take time off when she started to burn out and ended up severely depressed and failing all her classes. She was eventually asked to leave, she got a job, and 8 years later, finally went back to college, where it was incredibly hard for her (not the least because she now had car payments, other loans, etc.). And I'm in college now, and I've seen other people who should take time off just as much.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

cleolinda
2004-04-27 08:56 pm UTC (link)

I got super-mega-burned out with one semester to go, and managed to drag myself to enough classes to barely pass--after 3-1/2 years of being on the dean's list, which just depressed me more. I wish I could have taken time off, but it seemed ridiculous when I only had four months left. So I ended up taking a year off between college and grad school (I'm looking at a PhD now), and it made a world of difference. I was scared silly to go back to school, but I ended up changing my course of study and really, the whole thing changed my life for the better.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: mydemand 2004-04-28 01:43 am UTC (link)
	I was burnt out too, but after secondary school. Stress, unfriendliness, and panic-anxiety diorder made me a complete nutcase during my final year, and I DEMANDED a year off to recuperate. During that year I did everything else - went on trips, did workshops, take dance class, anything. It was the most worthwhile year. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	notjo 2004-04-28 01:47 am UTC (link)
	I had the same problem. I even had a teacher sit me down and say, "Look, you need to take a break or you're going to fall apart." But NO! I had to be a TROOPER. rolls eyes (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: mydemand 2004-04-28 03:52 am UTC (link)
	HA! Everyone was DISCOURAGING me from taking a break. I even got told off by one of the admins for wanting to return home early from school one day - "I have an MC! I still come to school! You and your petty headache!" It took a lot of arguing with my parents before they let me have the break. sigh. The concept of a break here in Malaysia is unheard of. o_O (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: notjo 2004-04-28 04:29 am UTC (link)
	Ah. I'm in China right now, and the idea that I might want to take a day or two off to be sad that a friend of mine had a heart attack and is in the hospital is completely strange to them. I keep being told "Cry. If you cry, they'll give you anything you want", but... eh. (Reply to this)(Parent)

nevadafighter
2004-04-28 02:35 am UTC (link)

I had to take time off after high school, too. I didn't get accepted into the college of my choice, people (teachers and fellow students) were all telling me to take a year off, and quite frankly if I'd started college right after HS I'd have burned out and flunked. I was borderline sociopathic after HS—I hated everyone and college would have been unbearable with that kind of attitude.

I know people were a little harsh on this girl but I can understand people being angry because she's only in school for the insurance when there are people who would kill to be able to college. She should start looking into alternatives so that she doesn't have the guilt that it sounds like she has about classes. (And yes, I am one of the people who suspects that she's making some things up now that she has some sympathy going for her. *shines "Official Cynic" button*)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	ladybirdsleeps 2004-04-28 04:02 am UTC (link)
	If she's telling the truth, she might not have any alternatives -- private health insurance doesn't cover pre-existing conditions, so if her problems aren't already covered, they're not going to be. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	vasaris 2004-04-28 04:34 am UTC (link)
	That depends on where you are. In my state you cannot be refused coverage for a pre-existing condition. What I find odd is that she gets coverage at all. When I turned 18 that was pretty much it for the health insurance I had through my mother. (Well, they covered me until the end of high school, but that was it.) (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	ladybirdsleeps 2004-04-28 09:49 am UTC (link)
	Huh, what state do you live in? Are you seriously telling me that if I become your neighbor, I can purchase private health insurance that will cover pre-existing conditions? How's the weather there? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	vasaris 2004-04-28 05:54 pm UTC (link)
	Washington. Mind you, they can make you wait a while before actually providing said coverage (anywhere from 3 to 6 months, I think) but they do, eventually, have to pay. And I have to admit that the waiting period thing sucks, but at least they cannot refuse outright. Weather depends on time of year. Right now its sunny and not too warm :) (Reply to this)(Parent)

	panthea 2004-04-28 05:25 pm UTC (link)
	Word. My roomie's sister is staying in college even though she could technically graduate, because she's having health issues it's cheaper for her to pay for another year than to try to find insurance that will cover her. Which is all kinds of fucked up, but there you go. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	(Anonymous) 2005-03-25 10:33 pm UTC (link)
	Hear hear. Espesially that bitch who said "and fucking go to class". (Reply to this)(Parent)

	c_chan 2004-04-27 06:18 pm UTC (link)
	Wish I could offer my two cents to this, but I'm as bad as her. (That is, if she stopped going to class for a reason that isn't a good one) And I regret it every facking day. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	kijikun 2004-04-27 08:17 pm UTC (link)
	Sometimes it would be nice to go back and bitch smack our younger selves. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: c_chan 2004-04-27 08:34 pm UTC (link)
	Agreed. Though, I think I'd do much more than bitchsmack myself. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	cpip 2004-04-28 06:52 pm UTC (link)
	Same here. Rowr. Oh, wait, we weren't discussing RPS/Time Travel Slash? Er... nevermind. No, seriously, I'd beat myself but good. "And why the hell don't you grow some backbone and tell the girl you're leaving already?!" (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	kijikun 2004-04-28 07:09 pm UTC (link)
	discussing RPS/Time Travel Slash? I'm intrigued by your idea and would like to receive the newsletter... (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	cpip 2004-04-28 09:39 pm UTC (link)
	Hey, if I could go back in time, I might do myself, sure! :p (Reply to this)(Parent)

	(Anonymous) 2005-03-25 10:41 pm UTC (link)
	Same here "Why the hell don't you grow some fuckin backbone? major asskick" (Reply to this)(Parent)