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Nabiki GMYW ([info]nabiki_gmyw) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2004-04-29 12:51:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:Unrepentant

Quiz: are YOU going to hell?
First time poster here. Rock my world.

Ok, I'm not sure this qualifies, seeing as though there's no forums to bitch in, but I just found it too funny for words:

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<a [...] you're>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

First time poster here. Rock my world.

Ok, I'm not sure this qualifies, seeing as though there's no forums to bitch in, but I just found it too funny for words:

<a href="http://www.needgod.com" Find out if you're going to hell in one esy click!</a>

At first I couldn't tell it was a parody or not. Anyway, it's just teh funneh!

(Post a new comment)


[info]innermuppet
2004-04-29 06:07 pm UTC (link)
Yep! I'm going to hell!

I knew that already but *woot* now it's official!

Ooh! Ooh! I think i'm starting to burn already!

(Reply to this)


[info]melange
2004-04-29 06:38 pm UTC (link)
It's kind of funny that they say that lying is a sin, since they were lying about it being in the Ten Commandments. That site claims that 'Thou shalt not lie' is the ninth commandment, and they're quite wrong. I went to school in a church, and everyday we used to count how many commandments we were breaking (mostly due to an on-going note war between us, and the Sunday school kids), so I know that #9 is about stealing.

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[info]yeats
2004-04-30 02:05 am UTC (link)
Well, that actually depends on whose commandments you're reading. For us Catholics, the ninth is my personal favorite--"Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's wife". (Because this is both separate from adultery, and from coveting his things.) For Protestants and Jews, however, the site holds water.

Check out here for a good comparison chart.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]ladysorka
2004-04-29 07:36 pm UTC (link)
Aw... it didn't like me when I told it that going to hell doesn't concern me.

Why would it? I've already got a great condo reserved right on the shore of the Eastern lava flow. I plan to have drunken orgies by the firelight at least once a week. It'll be great fun!

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[info]cleolinda
2004-04-29 10:16 pm UTC (link)
Ooo, I think your condo is on the same street as mine!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]visp
2004-04-30 12:06 am UTC (link)
Save a spot in the orgy for me.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]lillyv
2004-04-30 09:33 pm UTC (link)
I'll bring the juice boxes!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]kijikun
2004-04-29 08:18 pm UTC (link)
That was amusing. It sure doesn't it like it when people say they arent concerned about going to hell.

(Reply to this)


[info]chash
2004-04-29 08:54 pm UTC (link)
You know, I answered "yes" to breaking to first commandment without remembering what it was. I'm actually pretty sure I haven't broken it. I mean, I don't have a god, so that doesn't count as having a god before their god, right? Woot! There's totally a commandment I'm not breaking!

Also, it amuses me that the bible only says men can't lust after women. God never told me I couldn't lust after men! Wooooo! Go straight women and homosexuals! Your lust is blessed!

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]darkwitch666
2004-04-29 09:00 pm UTC (link)
It doesn't matter if you say you broke it or that you didn't. If you say that you didn't, it just tells you that you're lying because TEH BIBEL SAYZ that no one could ever possibly keep that commandment all the time.

So then you've broken the first commandment, *and* the ninth (which, strangely enough, is the one about stealing, not lying. Unless my second-grade nun teacher was wrong, lol.)

It *was* good for a laugh, though.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]yeats
2004-04-30 02:06 am UTC (link)
*coughs*That's what they meant when they say "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife"? Awesome!

High fives on the ninth commandment!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]darkwitch666
2004-04-30 03:43 am UTC (link)
I think that's ten. Apparently nine is don't lie, but somehow I remember learning them in different order (eight was lying, nine was coveting your neighbor's goods, ten was coveting your neighbor's wife.) Apparently, I was a bad Catholic even when I thought I was a good Catholic.

:snort:

Guess I'm *really* going to hell now.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]sagralisse
2004-04-30 05:11 am UTC (link)
I hate to break it to you, but I'm looking at the Protestant #10, and it specifically forbids coveting thy neighbor's ass.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re:
[info]chash
2004-04-30 12:03 pm UTC (link)
Is that like not looking at my neighbor's paper in class? They tell me not to, and I don't on purpose, but sometimes I just see it out of the corner of my eye and I CAN'T HELP IT! WHY, GOD, WHY DID YOU GIVE ME PERIPHERAL VISION AND LOVE FOR HOT DONKEYS?!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]sagralisse
2004-04-30 04:16 pm UTC (link)
Obviously God is like whassername in Mommy Dearest. One minute He's throwing you a party and telling you that he loves you, and the next minute He's shrieking at you and making you scrub the grout. I bet he'll snark at you in his will, too.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]llama_treats
2004-04-29 09:06 pm UTC (link)
Link go bye-bye.

::is sad::

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[info]crickets
2004-04-29 09:29 pm UTC (link)
Hell gets a starring role and Jesus is mentioned almost as an afterthought. Tch, some people are far too fond of their fire and brimstone. I blame violence on television.

(Reply to this)


[info]sagralisse
2004-04-29 09:39 pm UTC (link)
Being an agnostic, it's difficult for me to break that first thingy.

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[info]anu
2004-04-29 11:04 pm UTC (link)
AHAHA. I was raised in that religon.

And guess what? I'm going to hell. I don't care.

In fact - it'll be fun! PAR-TAY!

(Reply to this)


[info]visp
2004-04-30 12:11 am UTC (link)
Meh, I fail to see why some old Hebrew War God's lackey has any claim on my afterlife choices, but hey, I'll drop by every now and then for the orgies to see you all.

(Reply to this)


[info]sagralisse
2004-04-30 01:07 am UTC (link)
I answered all of them the right way and I still got this:

It has already been established that you would be guilty of breaking His commandments. Even if you were able to perfectly keep 9 of the commandments for your entire life -- you have broken the first commandment (Question #8). The First of the Ten Commandments is "You shall have no other gods before me." That means that we should love God with all of our heart, mind, soul and strength. The Bible tells us that no one has kept this commandment (see Psalm 14:2-3).

Please don't be discouraged. We urge you to be patient and to continue on. Our straightforwardness is motivated by a genuine concern for your soul.

Goddamned rigged test. I K33L U!! Right after I get done givin' it to yo mama!

(Reply to this)


[info]pipssister
2004-04-30 02:01 am UTC (link)
I always do badly on these tests... then I hit a Christian thought pattern that I can't answer truthfully and have to leave. Ah, well.

(Reply to this)


[info]iczer6
2004-04-30 02:51 am UTC (link)
I gotta say, I would SO sell my eye for a million bucks, I've got two and I'm pretty nearsighted to boot.

Icz

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roxannelinton
2004-04-30 03:16 pm UTC (link)
Surely with our million dollars, we could just buy new, better eyes?

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]bohicamouse
2004-04-30 03:17 am UTC (link)
The Seventh of the Ten Commandments is "You shall not commit adultery." If you've ever looked at another person with lustful thoughts, according to God's standards, that makes you an "adulterer."

Wait, I thought that was only if you were married . . . damn comparative religions course, you have taught me nothing! Except that my professor could psychically talk to animals as a child, there was that story.

(Reply to this)


[info]c_chan
2004-04-30 05:34 am UTC (link)
According to another website someone gave me years ago, I was already going to hell because I'm:

- left-handed.
- watched my laundry spin in the washer/dryer.
- watched carebears and darkwing duck.

So, it's no surprise I'm still going to hell.

Hope someone saves a seat for me!

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]ahiru
2004-04-30 01:57 pm UTC (link)
Carebears and Drakwing Duck send you to hell? Wow, good thing I've already got a seat saved down there. (Hey, does that mean they let you watch Darkwing Duck reruns in hell? Cause that would rock.)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re:
[info]c_chan
2004-04-30 04:13 pm UTC (link)
Hey, does that mean they let you watch Darkwing Duck reruns in hell? Cause that would rock.

I think so. :D

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]birdyexmachina
2004-05-01 02:41 am UTC (link)
Your icon got that song stuck in my head. Must go listen to it now...

As for the images - is that Yu-Gi-Oh? If so, I obviously didn't keep watching it for long enough.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]ahiru
2004-05-01 06:50 pm UTC (link)
Yup, the images are from Yu-Gi-Oh. Specifically, the Battle City finals, where Yami Malik is a glorious little psycho and people who lose their duels are counted lucky if they get to stay conscious.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]selene_avis
2004-04-30 10:05 pm UTC (link)
Why would left-handedness send you to Hell? And what is crystalwank? (I've heard it before...)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re:
[info]c_chan
2004-04-30 10:08 pm UTC (link)
I'm not sure about the left-handedness, so I really can't explain that. It was something to do with in the past and...yeah. I should look that up.

CrystalWank is the huuuuuuuuge 70+ page wank about a girl named Crystal Gamgee, some photos she claimed were hers, and some Photoshop sketches.

If you want a quicker rundown of it, check [info]metaquotes, where all teh funneh has been quoted.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re:
[info]selene_avis
2004-04-30 10:24 pm UTC (link)
Shiiit. That's a lot of wank!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]littlest_lurker
2004-05-01 04:03 am UTC (link)
- left-handed

You too? Maybe we'll room together :D

LEFTYS REPREZENT OMG YO!!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re:
[info]c_chan
2004-05-01 04:37 am UTC (link)
:D Ooo, yay! I'd love to room with a fellow wanker.

REPRESENT YO

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]selene_avis
2004-04-30 10:06 pm UTC (link)
It's not very wanky, actually, but it is funny.

(Reply to this)

  
   
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