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Dan Fogelberg's ([info]llama_treats) wrote in [info]otf_wank,
@ 2004-05-11 19:35:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood:*thud*

You can even find wank on Ebay!
...and plenty of it.

This particular wank starts with sundancereal, who preaches about the eeeevils of PayPal:

Who gave eBay the Right to Place an Advertising Logo for Paypal on Our Auctions??? No One! Yet, we pay for our auctions, and there is nothing in this for us! Not One Nickel!!! Only an Irritation to Our Buyers, and Bids Slacking Off, because the Icons Detract from the Buyers Ability to Read our Titles!

Just for the heck of it, here's an example of one of sundancereal's auctions. Please notice the distinct lack of a [real] PayPal logo.

Anyhoo, sippingtea attempts to make a suggestion or two:

Instead of wasting her time on eBay discussion boards, the OP should go to college and take some freshman level business and economic courses to help her gain an understanding about corporate America. And while she is at it, she can take a business class on entrepreneurship so as to gain an understanding of how to sell profitably in the competitive internet marketplace. It is a foolish waste of her time and energy to keep coming to this board, bellowing about a payment option service and how the parent company chooses to integrate the payment service into their auction and search formats. A better use of her time is for her to study, learn and analyze, and gain an understanding of how to be profitable with her sales. Otherwise, I will repeat myself, if she doesn't like the environment in which she sells her products, or does not wish to change her product mix, or does not wish to adapt to the selling environment, then the answer is simply to stop selling on eBay.

It goes downhill from there. For five...I mean 14... freaking pages.

And just for the hell of it, here's Ebay by Weird Al Yankovic for your listening pleasure.


(Post a new comment)


[info]kijikun
2004-05-12 12:57 am UTC (link)
Yeesh, maybe s/h/it should reformt their listings instead of bitching about non existant logs.

Plus I'd much rather pay through paypal. It's safer, easier, and faster. A few cents if a small price to pay to have my funds protected.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]llama_treats
2004-05-12 01:38 am UTC (link)
The PayPal h8ers are out in force at ebay. Their logic usually goes like this: "OMG a buyer reported me to PayPal 'cos I lied in my listing and now Paypal won't give me my moneeeeeeey!111one!" (or, on the flip side "I didn't read the listing and paid $5 billion for a reproduction of Al Lewis' sphincter because I thought it was real and PayPal won't refund my moneeeeeeey!one42BBQ1!1").

It's really irritating.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]kijikun
2004-05-12 01:40 am UTC (link)
I've never had a issue with paypal and wish more place would expect it. I've had people bitch at me for not taking that western union thing and asking for walmart or postal money order only.
*rolls eyes*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]phosfate
2004-05-12 04:31 pm UTC (link)
The only issue I've ever had is people who run PAY ME WITH ANY CREDIT CARD VIA PAYPAL graphics, completely with credit card icons, and then say "Oh, no, I can only take PayPal that isn't via credit card." Dicks.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re:
[info]kijikun
2004-05-12 05:10 pm UTC (link)
Gah I hate those idiots too. If your going to expect paypal as payment dude get verifed or open a buisness account.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

No, I'm not bitter
[info]llama_treats
2004-05-12 07:47 pm UTC (link)
The people who annoy me are the ones who don't read the listing and then say, "Oh. You only take PayPal? I don't have an account."

What part of "PayPal ONLY" did they not understand?

Bastards!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]smo
2004-05-12 06:44 pm UTC (link)
My ass wears a hat for PayPal. I pay all my bills on it and 99% of my eBay transactions.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]marginalsanity
2004-05-12 01:07 am UTC (link)
I Have Many Options for Payment! Please Choose Whichever Method You Would Prefer!

EXCEPT PAYPAL OMG EVAAOOOOLLLL!!1"

(Reply to this)

Throw another regret on the fire...
[info]elkins
2004-05-12 01:16 am UTC (link)
Oh, this one was good! I don't even use EBay, and I enjoyed it mightily.

We have our requisite paranoid OP, who capitalizes like a seventeenth-century theologian on crack ("Only an Irritation to Our Buyers, and Bids Slacking Off, because the Icons Detract from the Buyers Ability to Read our Titles!"), and who is quick to detect conspiracy afoot in the shadowy upper eschelons of EBay management:

You know it's very easy, for eBay to make it look like I'm in the Minority here on this Issue, since So MANY ORIGINAL POSTS HAVE MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEARED!

We also have the War of the Childhoods:

You must have had a wonderful childhood never being wrong. Unfortunately, after you left home the real world must have been a shock to you that you have not recovered from

You want to start on my childhood, Why don't we Look into Yours! Where Nothing was Discussed with Openness, where Truth was Hidden under a Barrel, where the Ability to Show One Shred of Human Kindness was Non- Existent!

(Is there a jurisimprudence law about insulting other people's childhoods? Perhaps there ought to be.)

And then we have the tracking of posting times to "prove" that one of the participants is...um... well, not sure, really. To prove that she "has no life?" To prove that she doesn't really live in Florida as she claims? It's unclear. But very, very wanky.

The crazed OP is, however, capable at times of a rather strikingly poetic idiom:

One day Diva, when Your Regrets Pile Up like Cord Wood just before a hard winter, you'll know what I'm talking about!

"Honey? It's getting a tad chilly in here. Would you throw another regret on the fire?"

This one kept me amused for quite some time. Thanks!

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: Throw another regret on the fire...
[info]llama_treats
2004-05-12 01:23 am UTC (link)
Glad to be of service. There's wank all over them boards, but nowadays it's mainly about the category changes. (Trust me, you don't want to know.)

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Throw another regret on the fire...
[info]alpheratz
2004-05-12 04:50 am UTC (link)
We have our requisite paranoid OP, who capitalizes like a seventeenth-century theologian on crack

*gaspchoke* That just made my day.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: Throw another regret on the fire...
[info]smo
2004-05-12 06:45 pm UTC (link)
The sad thing is, I know exactly what they mean.

[/English geek]

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Re: Throw another regret on the fire...
[info]lcsbanana
2004-05-12 06:46 am UTC (link)
You want to start on my childhood, Why don't we Look into Yours! Where Nothing was Discussed with Openness, where Truth was Hidden under a Barrel, where the Ability to Show One Shred of Human Kindness was Non- Existent!

...it's...it's PAYPAL. You're discussing Paypal.

God, this is beautiful.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]lurker32
2004-05-12 01:23 am UTC (link)
Whoa. What? Jesus, lady, did Paypal eat your firstborn?

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]kijikun
2004-05-12 01:29 am UTC (link)
Heh that I'd pay to see.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]lurker32
2004-05-12 01:48 am UTC (link)
PayPal: Like Moloch in a way.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]tempslut
2004-05-12 07:01 am UTC (link)
Somebody PLEASE make a "Paypal Ate My Firstborn!" icon.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]lurker32
2004-05-12 01:17 pm UTC (link)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]tempslut
2004-05-13 04:30 am UTC (link)
*lusts*

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]lurker32
2004-05-13 01:54 pm UTC (link)
*preens*

Steal at will.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]seventy_three
2004-05-12 01:35 am UTC (link)
Hehe. She'll accept "Cash in a Well Concealed Envelope." *immature snort*

Honestly, I don't know what she's bitching about. With trashy quality shit artwork like the Dooby Do ashtray, the money must be pouring in.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]bubosquared
2004-05-12 05:23 am UTC (link)
"Dear Seller, I have put the cash for this auction in an envelope and concealed it in one of the books on my shelf. Please send me my item now."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]kijikun
2004-05-12 06:51 am UTC (link)
::diea laughing::

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]bubosquared
2004-05-12 08:25 am UTC (link)
I'm just sayin', that's my kind of payment option!

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]smo
2004-05-12 06:47 pm UTC (link)
"Please place in unmarked brown paper lunch sack (NOT shopping bag) behind Prudential Center on the first Friday of the next month when the moon is in Scorpio."

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


(Anonymous)
2004-05-13 02:24 am UTC (link)
dude, the Pru scares me. I won't get near it. Or the John Hancock, for that matter. Those buildings are way too tall.

and how did I know even before I looked at your user info that you were talking about Boston's Pru?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]smo
2004-05-13 02:21 pm UTC (link)
Beats me. Do you live in Boston, too?

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]iczer6
2004-05-12 01:52 am UTC (link)
Someone who does not like the site as much as you have babbled about not liking them for the past month and a half should have moved to a site where you would feel loved and appreciated since you are of the opinion that ebay does not love and appreciate you.

Now I want an 'Ebay doesn't love me' tee-shirt.

Rock on dude, rock on.


(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]sagralisse
2004-05-12 04:36 pm UTC (link)
I want someone to make that teeshirt and sell it on Ebay.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]kijikun
2004-05-12 01:53 am UTC (link)
Oh dear good I just read more, and people are screaming about ebay letting thrid parties adversitse on their listings. Isn't paypal owned by Ebay or something to that effect?

And it IS a bit more diffuclt than saying item not as descrbibed to paypal. Plus most smart people will if a customer has a problem try to work something out with them. /wank

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]kuribos_shoe
2004-05-12 02:51 am UTC (link)
Isn't paypal owned by Ebay or something to that effect?

Yes, it is.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]kuribos_shoe
2004-05-12 02:54 am UTC (link)
Who gave eBay the Right to Place an Advertising Logo for Paypal on Our Auctions??? No One!

STEP ONE: Check URL of auctions
STEP TWO: Note "ebay.com" domain name
STEP THREE: Question answered!

(Reply to this)


[info]hylian_shadow
2004-05-12 03:21 am UTC (link)
Back away from the shift key, sundancereal. Back away.

Random capitalization makes Link homicidal.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]kijikun
2004-05-12 03:39 am UTC (link)
But we like hawt!homicidal Link!

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]hylian_shadow
2004-05-12 05:17 am UTC (link)
That is true. Hmm. Maybe I should Type Like this more Often?
God, I'm goofy this evening...

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]puipui
2004-05-12 11:52 am UTC (link)
If it gets us more Hawt Hawt Link, then yes, please do.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]iris
2004-05-12 04:34 am UTC (link)
Trust is What I Build & Quality is the Only Thing I Sell!

That's funny. 'Cause, y'know, I thought you were also selling tacky hippie ashtrays.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]tempslut
2004-05-12 07:06 am UTC (link)
I wonder if she also sells tit-shaped mugs.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)


[info]iris
2004-05-12 07:25 am UTC (link)
No luck, but apparently her items will help you find an Oasis of Sanity.

The iris-print blouse she's selling both frightens and offends me.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]ladybirdsleeps
2004-05-12 07:50 am UTC (link)
This wank makes my eyes cross, and not in the good way.

(Reply to this)


[info]necronomist
2004-05-12 11:35 am UTC (link)
OT: Why the fuck would I buy that on Ebay when my local convenience store has that next to the British candies?

For real, Aeros, Toffee Crips and Cadbury Flakes next to ugly ass stoner ashtrays. It's like for all your stoner impulse purchases or something.

(Reply to this)(Thread)


[info]phosfate
2004-05-12 04:38 pm UTC (link)
*drool*

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]smo
2004-05-12 06:48 pm UTC (link)
Word. They even sell Zig-Zags and Phillies Blunts.

(Reply to this)(Parent)


[info]starfish
2004-05-12 09:23 pm UTC (link)
Oh, my fucking god, that is the ugliest, scariest thing I've ever seen.

Hard to believe no one's bid on it yet.

(Reply to this)

  
   
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