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Thursday, December 8th, 2011
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1:35 am - Web standards wank!
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adevyish
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SCENE
A small coffee shop in San Francisco, lit by tasteful lamps and the glow of a dozen laptops. At one table sits Jeffrey Zeldman in his trademark blue beanie, musing at an article about adaptive web design. Across the shop sits Paul Irish, reading code commits and updating his blog. People linger around them, slowly absorbing knowledge of how to build a better-designed website and contemplating how to dispose of Internet Explorer 6 forever.
IRISH: We gather here today to launch Move the Web Forward, to advance our community and elevate the web platform.
The crowd oohs.
IRISH: I thank all of you who contributed—especially Dimitri, whose twittered words gave this project life, my co-conspirator Divya, and Mat, who put his blood and tears into this project.
There is a round of appreciative back-slaps and toasts.
IRISH: We're launching on Blue Beanie Day, the day of celebrating web standards. I am sad to say that Jeffrey Zeldman, whose blue beanie we all admire, didn't mention anything about us at all in his eulogy of blue beanie merchandise.
Crowd boos.
ZELDMAN: (gets up) I talked about this project all over the place, despite the ill-written website that lacked information on who was behind it. I cannot believe you would sink to this kind of whiny character assassination. You did the same thing with my magazine when we've reached out to you again and again. I suppose you must have a grudge against me. F— off.
DIVYA MANION: Please stop the drama. Drama is not a part of web standards.
BYSTANDER: We barely survived the browser wars, please don't start a web standards war. Ian Hickson is already about to start web standards war!
IRISH: Actually, you didn't link to Move the Web Forward. At all. Please stop using such negative language.
BYSTANDER 2: I have the internet! And the internet says you only posted this to Facebook! Not to Twitter or Google the Plus!
MANION: The web has been rotting, stagnant for a decade. What has anyone else managed to do? We're going to change that.
ZELDMAN: Paul, I've reached out to you again and again, and you just continue publicly trash-talking me. Whatever. Let's steer clear of each other but don't bring me up in your blog again. Also Divya, I totally like like this project but, seriously, I hate Paul.
A man enters the coffeeshop. Close inspection reveals him to be Jonathan Hoefler, purveyor of fonts.
HOEFLER: (tugs down his scarf) In the screenplay version of this conversation, we'd now answer the knock at the door to find a smiling, hapless fellow distributing religious pamphlets. He'd say something conciliatory and serene, and we'd yell at him to fuck off, slamming the door. Then we'd take stock of the situation, and share a good belly laugh.
Hoefler buys a coffee, and exits the shop.
BYSTANDER 3: Are we internet famous yet?
COFFEESHOP OWNER: We're closed.
*
Background: Jeffrey Zeldman co-founded the Web Standards Project and A List Apart, an online magazine about web development that is now publishing books and hosting conferences. Paul Irish co-created HTML5 Boilerplate, the new web development playground tool; contributes to jQuery, on most reputable websites and many ill-reputable ones; and works for Google. Jonathan Hoefler is responsible for many famous fonts.
Discussion paraphrased from Paul Irish's blog. Twitter has been replete with head-shaking and popcorn gifs.
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(24 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, November 18th, 2011
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10:13 pm - I SAID GOOD DAY, SIR
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6:05 pm - Customer service: You are doing it so, so very wrong.
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seiberwing
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Meet The Extra Reading Company, a "library of unique and amazing educational documents to which users can subscribe for access." Unique would indeed be the word, as Bridget Scanlon recently discovered (note: contains ableist slurs). Her price offer for a subscription to their website was met with ruder and more bizarre responses that probably took far more effort to write than a simple 'no. thank you' would have.
Bridget doesn't take this unprofessional behavior well, and word spreads. A post about the issue is made on Reddit, where it is discovered that the company has also been taking artwork from DeviantArt to use in their content. Joshua Mason, head of the company and increasingly suspected to also be the entirety of its staff, makes a post to the thread in an attempt to justify himself. It...does not so much justify as explain a few things about this company's PR policies.
( Cut for length, more minor use of slurs and misogyny. )
It's very, very hastily deleted. But who is this fearsome hag they call Deborah Markus? She's the editor of the magazine Secular Homestchooling who's been the target of both insults and bizarre paranoia by ERC, to the point that they vandalized her magazine's Wiki page (note bottom paragraph). That saga could be a FW post in itself, but she's summarized the matter nicely. It seems they've got a habit of posing on message boards as enthusiastic teachers who talk up the company.
An anti-ERC facebook page is formed. Further plucky girl detective work turns up at least two more blatant self-promotions by alleged teachers who are most likely Joshua Mason in a flowered dress and sunhat.
The company website itself is down for about 48 hours after the story breaks, but when it returns it reveals even more problems with their idea of customer service. The only content is image files (even of their text, no idea why), but I've helpfully transcribed some of their Q&A section to demonstrate their dedication to customer service.
( No slurs, just rudeness. )
And they'd really like to help you nurture your beautiful young children's developing minds. Charming little business.
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(48 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, October 15th, 2011
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5:50 pm - New management takes over fashion game, pulls death spiral.
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dandywolves
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Some background first: MissBimbo is, to quote the website "a virtual dress-up game for fashion girls". It's been around since 2007, and is a spin-off of a french website. It got some media attention when it first opened, because some of the content was deemed inappropraite for young girls - in order to pass level 12, your bimbo has to get a facelift as well as a boob job. If you google "Miss Bimbo, a lot of articles come up on the first page about it. For the record, even though it seems to be aimed as tween girls, a lot of the active users are older (I don't want to say the majority because I don't have actual data on that, but in my experience it's pretty close).
So, around mid-September, MissBimbo came under new management. Kind of. As far as I can tell, two of the original founding member split off and started their own company and decided to take the website in a new direction. From the September 23rd most post:
Miss Bimbo was always an anti establishment, non politically correct entity.
So we are going to cherish our roots and create a non conformist fun place to hang out for people who think Barbie, Stardoll and Farmville are boring!
Miss Bimbo is seen as anti establishment so we are going to embrace it and stop worrying about political correctness, media opinion and corporate nonsense. Long live the Bimbo
Basically, from the information given in that post and others, this means bumping the registration age up to 13 and a "a gradual shift to a more liberal and adult site and community in terms of themes, language and humour". That's okay, right? The mods promise that there will be new clothes and themes and fun things like that, and everyone's happy.
Until Thursday, when people log in and see this (NSFW - if you don't want to click it is... well, it's a cartoon doll with a giant comical black mess of pubic hair).
( beaver wank thisaway! )
current mood: Obsessed
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(184 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, October 12th, 2011
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5:10 pm - The Serious Side of Salad
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visp
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Once upon a time, someone in facebook posted a "Why Geeks Make Better Boyfriends" list. Britney St. Patience felt the need to point out its inaccuracies. She prefaces it with "Sure there are geek guys out there who are great partners. But being a geek does not guarantee that a guy will be a great boyfriend."
It's a pretty standard 'Nice Guy' deconstruction.
The main highlights are:
Myth #3: Geeks are low maintenance
Supposedly geek guys make great boyfriends because they can subsist on pizza, Mt Dew, and your affection. Just wait until you meet one who will ONLY eat pizza and maybe 3-4 other foods, like some sort of overgrown five year old. It took me nearly a decade to get my computer programmer ex husband to eat salad. My Star Wars obsessed ex boyfriend could not be taken to nice restaurants because he refused to wear anything except ripped jeans and nerdy tees and would not eat anything he could not pronounce. LOW MAINTENANCE MY ASS.
and
Myth #6: Geeks appreciate women
This one is, by far, my favorite geek guy myth. The myth of the guy who spent all of high school playing D&D but secretly wanting someone to love and when he finally gets a girl he imprints on her and covers her in puppy-like devotion. OMG WHERE DO PEOPLE GET THIS SHIT? You know what really happens when guys don't get laid in high school or college and spend all their time reading coming books and filling their spank banks with Buffy the Vampire Slayer fanfic? They fill their little nerd brains with unrealistic expectations, waiting around for what one of my gamer friends calls a "magical pixie girl". An unattainably hot woman, who will love the nerd boy not in spite of his nerdiness but because of it and somehow his life will be transformed by her love. And he shall get a job. And he shall move out of his parents basement. And he shall cease to be whatever it is he dislikes about himself because the magical lady doth love him. But woe to any girl who does not live up to his fantasy. She will be treated with the same regard as yesterday's Mt Dew cans.
So, a little harsh, but all in all not a matter for anger, right? Wrong!
( And how! Also, an anorexia trigger warning because what starts out as a 'No One's Perfect' rant turns into a very strange argument over salad. )
What follows is an extended debate over whether asking your spouse to eat salad is controlling, an act of deepest love for your dearest one, or something in between. Over salad.
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(269 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, April 21st, 2011
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7:57 pm - Wanky BNF: RL Version
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nifflet
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Small, but it just goes to show that creator entitlement and pomposity extends far beyond fandom.
Background: Sylvia's Enchilada Kitchen is a Mexican restaurant in Houston that gets critically lauded at every turn. Also, the Houston Chronicle runs a newspaper segment where people can air their grievances against a restaurant wherein they had a bad experience. Also also, the owner/operator of Sylvia's can't take criticism.
Hilarity ensues. (WARNING: There's some race!fail in the comments, so read at your own risk.)
( Sylvia's response to the complaint below )
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(89 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, April 15th, 2011
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8:57 am - VegNews pisses off vegans everywhere
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braisinhussy
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Thanks to a mouse at ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/community.gif) wank_report for this!
VegNews is "an award-winning vegan magazine and website packed with recipes, travel, news, food, reviews, and so much more."
"So much more" apparently means stock photos of meat used to illustrate vegan recipes. Comments are posted, comments are deleted, and users are banned when they point out that using photos of meat (some of them poorly photoshopped to remove bones) seems contrary to the tenets of the magazine.“Thank you for your interest in VegNews. However, your inappropriate and mean-spirited commenting has violated the policy of VegNews, and we have and will continue to remove any future comments. Please know that we welcome constructive criticism from all viewpoints, and rarely unpublish comments from readers. Should you have any constructive feedback, feel free to email me directly. I’d love to hear from you.” People are extremely not happy. (But their wanking is done in the most non-violent, humane way possible.)
VegNews posts a non-apology. Surprise, surprise, it doesn't go over well.
(Gothamist's closing line about this debacle is priceless: "Should VegNews change its name to CarnNews, was their apology enough, or is this all just much tofu about nothing?")
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(93 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, April 2nd, 2011
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1:42 pm - I don't know how, but this wank is definitely LJ's fault.
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| Monday, March 28th, 2011
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9:19 pm - "You are a big rat and a snake with poisenous venom."
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| Saturday, March 26th, 2011
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3:09 pm - Cheezeburgers, Contessas, and Cancer
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monkeyarcher
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reading the comments and seeing the reaction of my roommate (while he said that he understood where I was coming from on this, he also gave me that look that tells me that he wonders why anyone ever lets me out in public, I realized that this was an error in judgement on my part.
I have moved this to http://www.journalfen.net/community/unfunny_fandom/profile as was suggested. Honestly, I don't know why it didn't pop into my head to post it there to begin with.
I sincerely apologize for my lack of cluefulness (I accept this as a word...it fits).
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(21 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, March 8th, 2011
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2:46 pm - Happy Mardi Gras
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| Saturday, March 5th, 2011
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2:33 pm - "Kitty does WHAT?!"
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| Saturday, February 26th, 2011
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6:43 pm - Chivalry bookshelf; well, that's an ironic name!
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solelyfictional
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I came across this first on AbsoluteWrite, but its the Armour Archive Forums that really provide the wank. I'm afraid I know nothing about the Society for Creative Anachronism, though after reading the thread I find I quite like them! Feel free to correct me on any specifics. It's worth noting that while I'll use screennames where possible, the vast majority of people commenting in the Armour Archive forum include their real names in their signatures.
It starts innocently enough, with a request for book and DVD rec's on a certain kind of arms/armour. Specifically, a book by one Brian Price. And as a secondary query:
On a side note: I was told today that there is some controversy about Brian Price of the 'John Clements' level of infamy. What is that all about?
There's some vague rumblings about Price, but no one seems to know anything specific (or anything up to date). Various books are recced, including Christian H Tobler's books on the Liechtenauer tradition.
All's going swimmingly until Tobler himself drops by with a request people don't buy his books. Specifically, his books published by Price.
( From here, it gets long. Doesn't it always with publisher wank? )
TLDR:
Long ago, in days of yore,
a poster asked a rec for.
Many a book was suggested
but the authors asked purchases be arrested.
The publisher was such a knave
their royalties he'd never paid.
Not only this, a poster cried
his workmanship must be decried!
His gauntlets break,
his pins are stolen;
no man of honour,
would buy from this golem.
The publisher deigned to appear.
The accusations he tried to clear.
Royalties were owed since 2006
because he was in a financial fix.
Lady Charlotte, maid of the hour,
Came forth from her library bower
And offered proof of money owed
and plagiarism! by the cartload.
Worse than that, a business near
to their hearts had disappeared.
What of the insurance bought?
These were the answers posters now sought.
His reknown tattered
His reputation black
Brian Price
Would not be back.
( and the ETAs begin )
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(39 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, January 27th, 2011
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12:00 pm - Its the multiple community, sockpuppets are like, the point
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xelloss
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Do you know about multiples/plurals? They are a group of people, or perhaps a group of groups of people who believe that they have many minds or souls sharing one body. But don't say they have DID, or mention alters, this is "healthy" ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif) multiplicity! The kind that basically comes from spending too much time role-playing.
Now days, the multiple community keeps most of its drama behind closed doors. Drama that usually has to with the people who don't have Sephiroth in their system looking down on those who do, or incessant bitching about who is just pretending, and who actually needs to get some psych help because they really aren't pretending, while the rest of the community is probably only pretending to not be pretending. Its a big old pretend-fest.
But yesterday, some wanker decided to air their wank in public for all to see! They created a journal where all multiples could post anonymously and bitch about the other multiples they hated.
And thus, Pluralanon was born! 100+ comments of bitching, backstabbing and circlejerk.
Its especially funny when the uninivated rest of the community shows up.
And its entirely possible that there were only 2 real live participants, with the rest of them being imaginary!
ETA: Original thread is now deleted, but they are back in a new one in Glorious Technicolor.
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(155 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, January 17th, 2011
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3:41 pm - Who gets the Final Word? Wankers do.
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solelyfictional
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I actually wrote this up for my writing blog, but there's too much wank here not to share it further. I've expanded it a bit, especially this there's already new info from when I posted it there this morning.
Publishing is outdoing itself this year. First One was just a warm up. Enjoy!
So, on new year's day, a company called Decadent Publishing release a book by debut author Graylin Fox. Later that day, Graylin receives an email to her private account alerting her to a negative review on blog The End is Not the Final Word. She tweets about it.
Graylin claims she was then contacted privately on twitter by someone who seemed very interested in the review, to get her opinion of it. Decadent also see the review. They're confused, because this isn't a site they sent a review copy too, and they're a little suspicious. They describe it as 'not a legitimate review site'.
(at this point, I suggest you go take a look at The End is Not the Final Word. It set off some red flags for me, after so many years watching fandom_wank, but not enough to say anything.)
Shortly afterwards, this post appears on the review blog, accusing Decadent of going through their purchase records to provide the author with private information about the review blog owners, and of accusing them of piracy. Decadent reply to this post offering to let one of the reviewers out of his/her contract with Decadent, if s/he thinks so poorly of the company.
At this point the rest of the web gets hold of the story and start sharing their opinions. Decadent look pretty bad. It doesn't help their case that as word spreads they start posting passive aggressive music videos on their twitter and facebook. They do respond to some of the accusation over at Dear Author (contacting Jane directly) but don't answer all of the questions. They give us their word they never shared purchase information with anyone, nor were any real names swapped. The Enders don't reply to DA's request for their side of the story.
Graylin, however, decides it's about time to give her side of the story, supporting Decadent's claims, but very vague about how she knew who the anonymous Enders were. People are already wondering about an older post on the Enders blog, namechecking Graylin for 'Worst Author Behaving badly moment". Do I smell grudgewank? Oh yes, I do.
Back over at Dear Author, someone else decides to name names, and outs two of the Enders as Belladonna Bordeaux/TJ Killian/Lee Morris and Sandra Sookoo, a claim which is backed up by Graylin. Belladonna, at least, is/was an author with Decadent. Under the name Lee Moriss she used to own Eirelander publishing. Someone else over at DA points out Graylin isn't the only author previously associated with Eirelander who's received a negative review from them: Aasiyah Qamar/Zaynah Mondee was one of Eirelander's editors, but had to quite for personal reasons. It's nothing like as vitriolic as Graylin's but it is a little odd consdering one of the reviewers actually worked on preparing the book for publication.
Oh, and icing on the cake? If you glance back at the Best and Worst of 2010 post on the Enders blog, you'll notice the Best books of 2010 go to Belladonna Bordeaux, Sandra Sookoo, and TJ Killian.
As yet, the Enders haven't commented on the new revelations. Decadent seem to be sitting on their hands now (too little too late, IMO, but I suppose it's an improvement on linking videos), and Graylin seems to be trying to keen to put it behind her, but other authors and interested parties are invested in keeping the wank alive. And, well. It's better than working myself into a tiz about my upcoming holiday, so I've brought popcorn to share.
ETA: The Enders forward Decadent's emails to Dear Author though the Ender's side of the conversation hasn't been made public yet (there's also still debate about whether Decadent shared purchase information or not and whether they accused the Ender's of piracy). Sandra Sookoo is denying any involvement with the Enders.
Also, AbsoluteWrite's thread, which is desperately trying to stay on topic.
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(51 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, January 15th, 2011
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9:58 am - First One Digital Publishing--Sign Away All Your Rights and PAY Us For It!
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duraniedrama
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So a new ebook publisher called First One Digital Publishing and they're holding a contest called Who Wants to be an Author? Sounds nifty, right? Then you have a look at the rules.
Okay, must be original, must be in English, Microsoft Word format, yadda, yadda, yadda . . .
( Waaaaait a minute . . . )
Laura Anne Gilman is not impressed.
Neither is Janet Reid.
Nor John Scalzi.
Okay, so a budding self publisher does something stupid and writers warn them about it. Where's the wank, exactly?
That would be where Karen Hunter herself shows up in the comments of Janet Reid's blog and also in the comments in this thread at the Absolute Write forums.
Could I, a 20-year veteran in publishing as a writer and publisher, afford to put out a contest that rips people off? I'm not desperate. The goal is to truly find the next great author, something not too many people are actually looking for. What's been your success track record?
Note she asks for the 'success track record' of Janet Reid.
On Absolute Write, she drops such gems as:
And regarding the term "major publisher," which seems to be a point of conversation, First One will be releasing 5-10 titles a month. I think that's pretty major. Don't you?
LOL...to most of the responses. Here's the deal: If you want to be a part of something bigger than what you're currently doing, join us. Be a part of the solution, not a part of the naysaying and the problem. It's very easy to sit on the sidelines and poke holes at everything. It is far more difficult to get out there and do something different. That's what we're doing.
Again, we're grateful for the feedback because it certainly forces us to do a better job, which we will. But it seems as if the comments and the criticisms are not edifying. If your goal is to be a boo-bird. Good job. If you're goal is to help change publishing, get in the game and let's play.
And play they do. Two pages so far and it may yet blossom into greater things if she comes back to bawwwww some more.
ETA: Smart Bitches, Trashy Books weighs in. (Thanks to midnight_hawk for the tip.) The comments also link to a "contest" by Evil Reads, with additional suggested clauses in the comments. (khym_chanur finds quite possibly the best one here.)
It's also hit sf_drama. (Thanks to seiberwing.)
ETA Part Deax: aaaaaand, the rules now lead to a 404 page. (Per John Scalzi via sistercoyote.)
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(166 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, December 23rd, 2010
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7:35 pm - No, really? Really.
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| Thursday, December 9th, 2010
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11:20 am - If Not For The Wank
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ghostmaster
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Query Shark is a blog where aspiring writers can send their query letters to be looked over by professional agent Janet Reid, and then promptly chewed up, spit out, and glared at it by an angry lamniformes*. Oh, and there's something about insightful critique or some nonsense about helping authors or something silly like that. Anyway...
Query 189 (scroll down for the original version) is a Gilligan's Island/Hawaii 5-0 crossover fanfic in which the Gilligan's Island cast is all suspected of murder and also there is something about magical bat guano and I don't know what this guy was smoking, but I want some. Cue about...ohh, 60 comments of "well, it's an okay idea, I guess, but you should really just post it on FF.Net". A few enterprising web sleuths dig up the author's website, but don't post it for the sake of anonymity.
Cut to a few days later. The comment count has gone up to 73, and the author submits his revised query (which you already noticed in my above link). Now...well, let's let the author explain it, shall we?
"IF NOT FOR THE COURAGE adheres strictly to the legal definition of parody, and thus uses derivative characters under the fair use doctrine. Nevertheless, parodying our beloved seven stranded castaways might very possibly cause a stir. Are you afraid of a bit of controversy? If not, then read on…"
Apparently, a handful of people telling you that you can't publish fanfic and you fail at parody is "controversy" now.
"But where is the wank?" you ask. "This is just a dogpile on a clueless author. It's not like he came back to argue!"
Meet Jason Bloomberg. Jason has C/P'ed selected lines from all his detractors and turned them into praise for his fanfic. It's okay because he admits that they've been edited at the top of his sidebar. Also, bad press is still good press, I know what I'm talking about because I didn't just read Wikipedia, no one has ever written a fanfic where none of the characters were unrecognizable, this book isn't for fans of the show except when it is, and it's an irrefutable parody because Gilligan is gay.
Back at the query, everyone just boggles at the author's giant balls, but it seems to be winding down. I don't expect any future revisions to get much attention, so let me conclude with this delightful quote:
"But questions still remain: will agents and/or publishers steer clear? Would the copyright owner still sue? Will this book create a stir because it uses characters without permission?
My response: bring it on."
*probably used this incorrectly, but thinks it made the sentence sound nice anyway
**It occurs to me in retrospect that this could totally have gone in FW. Somehow, my brain just saw "Query Shark wank!" and ignored the whole "fanfic about Gilligan's Island" part.
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(81 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, December 7th, 2010
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2:21 pm - That's not frosting on the cinnamon buns!
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platedlizard
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Since tetradecimal took the bullet for me, AND my finals are over, I bring you beautiful, wonderful, lovely Cinnabon wank.
Over on Bad Service unbrokenwings posts a recent story about running into a debit card minimum at Cinnabon while purchasing a drink. She works under hot lights and gets thirsty, and Cinnabon has the biggest, cheapest drinks. unbrokenwings usually only purchases drinks there because she has a wheat allergy and cinnamon buns make her want to hurl. Fair enough, right?
Well, sjaustin is not going to let that stand! How dare unbrokenwings go into a place that sells products she finds nauseating to buy other products she likes! Even after unbrokenwings says she finds most other places that sell food to have the same effect on her, sjaustin is still unrepentant!
I'm arguing with you because you're contradicting yourself all over the place. Slow day? No, it's called "lunch." Most people who work those cushy office jobs get a whole hour in the middle of the day to do with as we please.
Gosh, you would think the food at every place being nauseating would be more motivation for you to bring your own drinks. Maybe you're exaggerating just a bit?
darsynia tries to use logic, but it is of no use!
Dear God this is so beautiful, I think I might cry.
And then, to add a beautiful wank topping to the wank-cake, the wank is posted to SF_Drama and sjaustin shows up in the comments!
And then I dance around in circles because I know a wank like this mean CINNAMON BUN RECIPES IN THE COMMENTS AND ALSO I GOT 20 OUT OF 19 ON MY ENGLISH FINAL YAY!!!!
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(166 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, December 4th, 2010
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3:54 pm - #AAAFail
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