Wank - Not Just for Fandom Anymore!

Pet intelligence wank

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 15:13:58 GMT

The Guardian: Cats outsmarted in psychologist's test.

You can imagine how well this goes with the readers. Besides the predictable flood of pet owner butthurt and anecdotes of clever / stupid cats / dogs / mice / owls, there are plenty of genuinely funny comments as well as a side wank on the validity of test methods and statistics, obligatory calls to talk about world hunger instead or discuss the intelligence of various nationalities, and, naturally, Hitler and his pets make a bonus appearance. I think one could play classical wank bingo in here, but some of the stories make it all worthwhile.

Don't call me Liz, BITCH.

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 05:45:26 GMT

Possible political_wank? I'm posting it here, since the "politics" are largely incidental. So-and-so asks Jim McDermott's secretary for an audience, and addresses her poorly ('Liz' rather than 'Elizabeth'). HOLY SHIT, you did not just go there!

A few weeks ago, the assistant e-mailed Becton seeking a meeting with McDermott and a client, JPMorgan Chase. Days later, the assistant checked back in and unfortunately began the e-mail with “Hi Liz.”

Becton curtly replied, “Who is Liz?”

When the assistant wrote back with an apology, Becton turned up the heat. “I do not go by Liz. Where did you get your information?” she asked.

The back-and-forth went on for 19 e-mails, with the assistant apologizing six times if she had “offended” Becton, while Becton lectured about name-calling.

Please, please check out the email exchange hosted on Politico.

As a slash fan and writer, I'd appreciate a bit more respect.

Sat, 06 Jun 2009 20:09:25 GMT

(This is maybe more fandom_lounge-y, but most of the comments are fairly wanky.)

Local rag reviews book, enrages slash fans.

Take me out to the ballgame so I can sue your ass.

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 06:11:38 GMT

Tony LaRussa is the manager of the St. Louis Cardinals, but not the Tony La Russa posting on twitter. So Tony is suing twitter "claiming an unauthorized page that used his name to make light of drunken driving and two Cardinals pitchers who died damaged his reputation and caused emotional distress."

He was found drunk and asleep behind the wheel of an SUV with its engine running. I don't think he needs help damaging his reputation. And his butthurt comes with lawyers.

My Clothes are For Everyone - except YOU.

Thu, 04 Jun 2009 19:06:05 GMT

From a mouse on Wank Report.

High-end fashion blogger, Susie Bubble, tries on an unfortunate creation by Pamela Hogg and posts the photographic results to her blog.

The designer's PR is not amused and demands the pictures be taken down for reasons that change with each discussion.

Defense of the designer ensues. Nasty defense!

http://pipeline.refinery29.com/daily_links/gaga_at_opening_ceremony_paul.php

"Susie Bobble isn't ugly but she's not pretty either. She's an average looking girl who loves above average looking clothes and therein lies the problem.

Message to Ms. Bobble: Make your own clothes from patterns and leave Pam and other talented designer pieces for the more suitable, pretty and slighter girls or women."

Susie pulls down the photos but is hurt and it's not from pulling off the tightest Spandex this side of the Power Rangers.

The imbroglio becomes the talk of the town.

Meow with a side of wank.

ETA: Deena of "Fat Girls Like Nice Clothes Too" has her own hilarious response.

Street Preacher, Internet Shitshow: Batshit Boogaloo

Thu, 04 Jun 2009 03:30:25 GMT

Dan Lirette is a bag of small, cheesy dicks. We've already been over it, but let's review:

Dan Lirette is a married preacher who's so obnoxious that he's rumored to have been banned from every Wal*Mart in Canada. Last summer, he impregnated one of his church interns and then abandoned her, because he is a coward who avoids responsibility for his behavior. The resultant baby had a profound birth defect, but being pro-life the mother chose to enjoy the short time she had with the child. In the meantime, she blogged about it, receiving attention (both positive and very negative) for what she was doing.

Something Awful came upon the scene and wondered, who's the daddy? They connected the dots back to Dan Lirette, who is, shall we say, displeased with this turn of events. He alleged that SA is a demon-possessed cult, he attempted intimidation tactics against SA owner Lowtax, he called the Kansas City FBI. You know, reacting just as any reasonable and mature human being would when taken to task for past disgressions. Oh, did I say "reasonable and mature human being"? I meant to say "crazy sociopathic cockbib," my bad.

And now, hear this.

Since the baby died, the SA thread was closed and goldmined, but Dan Lirette is still busy being butthurt. His new target is Encyclopedia Dramatica, which has articles on both him and the intern (I shouldn't have to warn you about disturbing images on ED, right? Two words: dead baby). He decided to fight fire with fire and created his own version of ED called Encyclopedia Parodia. The anonymous source on wank_report says that EP was once filled with ""hilarious" articles slandering everyone who dared to go against him, including SA and EA member ZoSoZodiac, whom he offered a $500 reward for the personal information of." Unfortunately, Dan Lirette has a habit of bahleeting, which is why I had to link to Google cache. Lucky for lulz, there are screencaps and quotes on Dan Lirette's ED page.

Additionally, the autoaim links in the previous post are now blank, allegedly due to a C&D from Dan (autoaim previously hosted mirrors of Dan's wacky preacher videos, now all completely deleted). ETA: Actually, I guess Dan Lirette is completely mad. Carry on.

Dan's home forum, moncton.net, in the meantime has been devastated by warring between SA goons and moderator Paladin. From what remains, it's pretty clear that Paladin loves deleting just as much as Dan Lirette does, and will eliminate not only anything that reflects badly on Dan Lirette, but anything that seems even vaguely suspicious. This has the effect of making the forum look like Swiss cheese, with half-empty threads that now lack logic and leaving regulars either angry or confused. Moncton.net, and its companion chat room, were eventually shut down; it even made the local news!

The source concludes with:

The only thing that would make this whole situation even crazier is if he found caito's post and decided to team up with Lady Sybilla to ruin caito's life. (Though, the combined power of their narcassism might create a black hole...)

~~I am torn between epic lulz and~~ do not want.

The, you fucking shithead. The.

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 01:17:34 GMT

This is a short and sweet one-man show, but it packs quite a wallop.

David Mack, the author of several Star Trek novelizations and other assorted works, is displeased with the copyediting of his current book. According to him, the editor was much too heavy-handed, essentially rewriting his material. So he calmly informed his publisher and they sorted everything out in a manner that left all parties involved satisfied.

Oh wait, I mean he posted a threatening rant on his public journal. I always mix those two up!

Die, Stupid Copy Editor, Die!
31 May 2009 in Personal | No comments

Some stupid (and luckily for him/her, anonymous) copy editor apparently took it upon him/herself to almost completely rewrite the manuscript for my latest novel, Star Trek Vanguard: Precipice. I learned this when I was handed a stack of pages slathered in so much red ink that I thought it had been left at the scene of an ax murder.

This idiot copy editor is going to wind up wasting a week of my time, because that’s how long it’s going to take me to go through the novel page by page with an eraser, undoing the damage this motherfucker has wrought upon my prose.

Jackass copyeditor who did this, whoever you are, if you read this, don’t ever fucking touch one of my books again. And pray to whatever god you believe in that I never find out who you are or where you live.

Die, you fucking shithead. Die.

Shockingly, David received some private negative feedback about this post and deleted it. But don't worry—the one he replaced it with is longer, whinier, and just as entertaining.

Note to Would-Be Commenters
1 June 2009 in Personal

For those of you who might not yet have noticed, I moderate all comments here on my official blog. In practice, that means if you come in here looking for a fight, I can simply decide not to let your comments see the light of day.

To those of you who felt as if it were your right to go all high and mighty on me because I needed to vent after seeing what an overzealous copy editor did to my latest mauscript, spare me your indignation and your insults.

The ms. went to production with a cover sheet from my line editor that specifically requested a “light” copy edit with queries. My editor is the one who gave me the erasers to fix this mess.

What came back was a wholesale rewrite, including arbitrary changes of sentences, deletion of sentences and paragraphs, recasting of sentences, and a host of other intrusive changes that, in the world of professional publishing, are outside the purview of a copy editor. Those privileges are reserved for a book’s line editor (i.e., the editor who acquired the book and works directly with me).

I have been writing books professionally for 10 years. I know the difference between a proper, light copy edit and a heavy-handed writer wannabe who imagines he or she can write my book better than I can. I do not object to the many sensible notations that most copy editors make, or the myriad small errors they help me fix. I do, however, object when one of them takes it upon him/herself to second-guess my creative choices.

Contrary to popular belief, even in this modern digital age, much of the book publishing industry still operates on hard copy with handwritten notations. It’s an industry in which traditions die hard. That is why I have the original ms. on my dining-room table, marked up in red pencil; that is also why I have a pair of erasers that I am using to undo invasive and uncalled-for changes.

To the person who thought they were being impossibly clever by pointing out typos in my Twitter comment about this mess, it might behoove you to keep in mind that Twitter is an informal medium. Also, in Internet-gamer parlance, such typos — particularly “teh,” which was done deliberately — are often intentional and used to convey both intense feeling and humorous intent.

The reason I can’t simply write “STET” on the ms. is that, in my experience, doing so is rarely sufficient to prevent the unwanted edits from being carried forward by production. The only real insurance against the propagation of unwanted changes is literally to erase them from the ms.

Lastly, to all of you who deigned to lecture me that because I choose to use my personal forum to vent my rage rather than scream out my window and create a public disturbance that would bring the local constabulary to my door, and to all of you who therefore concluded that I must not be much of a writer, I would just like to point out that you are confusing two unrelated issues. The manner in which one vents in anger bears little relation to how one composes prose in a calm state of mind. To evaluate a writer’s oeuvre based on such an offering would be tantamount to judging all of Hemingway’s or Brautigan’s respective works based on their suicide notes.

Homophonia

Mon, 25 May 2009 18:12:48 GMT

Over at Awkward Family Photos Greg has some tips to make the site better. And the site posts his "unintetional" but hilarious email.

Comments range from LOL to STFU. It's pretty polite.

Greg realizes the error of his ways.

"I walked headfirst, hubristically into that trap. And honestly, because I don’t post on the internet much, it was sort of thrilling to BE the douchebag laughingstock who gets slammed by a gazillion anonymous di**-weeds taking pot shots."

Some of the commentors think he's funny and taking it well. Others are wondering what "the internets" are. His email sounded kind of passive agressive to my tin ear.

Mostly I'm just looking though the amazing photos.

eta: Bonus wank! NSFW or possibly your gag reflex. (Photo of small child playing with knitted peen. So if that's a trigger? Do not click.) :D Thanks missm. I think.

Adult Novelty Wank

Mon, 25 May 2009 05:45:03 GMT

This small wank involves male anatomy... and bibs! Under a cut as it may be a bit NSFW.

I first learned of CockBibs while reading Jezebel, which featured a post called CockBibs: Keys To Not Getting A Blow Job, about a new adult novelty intended for easy clean up for men after oral sex.

Says Jezebel:

The slogans on the CockBibs are so stupid, and the mental image of dangling a piece of cloth off an erect penis is so ridiculous, that it's impossible to imagine that they could ever be truly utilized, because most women who came face to face with such a thing would either laugh too much to actually suck a dick, or be completely turned off by the dork attached to it.

Supposedly, the inventor was inspired to create the CockBib after being a "victim of another sloppy blow job," causing Jezebel editor Tracie to quip, "If they're going to be babies about it, a bib is fitting."

Of course, the inventor of the CockBib ~~accepts these criticisms in stride and behaves graciously as he continues to market his product~~ emails Jezebel a whiny screed that concludes with

I Do have to thank you guys though because you have inspired a new CockBib and that CockBib shall read... " Jezebels Need Only Apply!"! Maybe then you guys will lighten up and stop slamming CockBibs.

On a side note, someone from the magical land of CockBibs tried to hassle Amanda Hess on The Washington City Paper's blog, where she'd written a post called The Five Most Inappropriate Cock Bib Phrases. In an email to Jezebel, Hess said that someone with the same IP address started posting comments with multiple handles. The comments began as lame PR ("I would buy 1 lol!") but got personal when the poster started using "Amanda Hess" as a handle:

Oh I am such a purde that I just had to make my point by going out of my way to distinguish myself from myself simply because I have have nothing better to do than to try to out smart other people in a feibel attempt feel better about my self.

As you can see I have a lot of time on my hands while waiting for my CockBib to arrive so I guess I will just keep makinging myself look desperate, boring and foolish!

Jezebel commenters bring things like "earth logic" into the conversation (and even get a little Spartacus-y about Amanda Hess), and we all know that never goes down well with wankers - er, I mean sloppy beej recipients. The CockBib baby emailed Jezebel again, making even less sense than the time before:

What is this shit? I created the CockBib.... and this is the mutherfucking thanks I get?

It was my understanding that feminist were supposed to to have some level of intelligence, and if not that at least some common sense. I not at all surprised at your readers comments which broadly displays their lack of self respect and decency.

About Jezebel commenters, he says:

I have never seen such unladylike like behavior in my life. They sound like a bunch of dirty mouth male bashing whores running to jump on the "I'm gonna hate CockBibs because she said she hates Cockbibs" bandwagon! I don't give a fuck what your degenrate readers (the ones who made those nasty comments) think about my product.

He even goes on to address the readers, even calling a few name by name for personalized fuck you's.

Mysteriously, Urban Dictionary now defines a cockbib as "a person who whines excessively about a common, everyday occurrence that the vast majority of people have no trouble handling or do not even recognize as a problem."

ETA: Amanda Hess apparently sought out the illustrious inventor of CockBibs for a brief and illuminating interview.

Olive to Wank

Tue, 19 May 2009 22:13:22 GMT

You guys like food wank right? How about some Olive Oil wank? That's what I call a well lubed wank.

lovethatlovage posts a picture of their stovetop on picturing food. sjaustin then comments on their olive oil storage method and it devolves. As if that's not fun enough, lovethatlovage then drags the issue over to stupid_free where sjaustin gets in the first comment. Calls of grudgewank ensue and people start discussing their favorite food wanks of the past.

What's your favorite/most delicious food wank?

Grendel: Real Ultimate Power!

Sun, 03 May 2009 00:39:45 GMT

Are you stressed out from school? I am stressed out from school. And thus, obviously, I went to academics_anon for all my destressing needs!

Grendel Comes To Troll

Im reading the poem Beowulf at school, and the teacher gave us some questions to answer and i'd really appreciate it if you help me out :)

[snipped questions]

( You can answer all or any of the questions you choose :) Thanks!)

Oh, you can imagine how this was received!

Other than the obligatory "This is not a homework community!", we have:

- zeppelin imagery
- answers guaranteed to give you an A++++++ grade!
- Beowulf has Real Ultimate Power!
- "I can see Russia from my house!"
- It's tough being a savior
- the student's teacher showing up (except not really)
- Jedis and
- more general snark

(And, for bonus lols, Grendel Action Figure)

There's more. It's fun. The post is older - from October, and I'm fairly positive the OP is a troll, but I'm certain I'm not the only person who has broken-brain syndrome from uni-work and can appreciate this.

The day the Earth went to wank.

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 04:03:35 GMT

Hey! It was Earth day not too long ago! Yay! In celebration of Earth Day, Jen over at Cake Wrecks decides to post about Earth Day related cakes gone horribly wrong.

Jen includes a cake intended to be Spaceship Earth (ETA: that she made, by the way) and makes a joke about it. Fortunately Jen's readership is ready and willing to let her know that the cake is actually Epcot, about 200 times. The comments are wanky, hilarious, and generous amounts of ass kissing towards the end.

This does not bode well with Jen's inner Disney child, and she amends her post with the following:

" To the scores of you telling me this is supposed to be Disney's Epcot Center: Um, yeah, I know. See, the ball at Epcot is called Spaceship Earth, NOT Epcot. Give a Diz Geek a little credit, eh?"

Unfortunately her inner Disney child is still smarting as the next post is provided by her husband, his explanation being...

"Hey everybody. This is john (the hubby of Jen) taking on today's post since Jen is...um...busy. Yeah. So how 'bout that post yesterday, huh? It's like one minute everything's all hunky-dory, and then next thing I know Jen's threatening to strike over something to do with a Disney font. Last I saw, she was on the couch in her memory foam slippers with a pint of Chunky Monkey and watching SGA reruns. I believe her exact words to me were, "YOU write it!!!" And I see the facial tic is back. Greeeaaat."

This, of course, starts a game of finger pointing.

And cake was had by all!

ETA 2: If two posts of butthurt wasn't enough for you, Jen also likes to tweet about it!

Relevant tweets:

# I love you guys. Really, I do. But if ONE MORE PERSON tells me the cake today is the ball from Epcot, so help me, I will not post tomorrow.9:04 AM Apr 28th from web

# No really, for fun, go count how often I'm told you can tell it's Epcot by the Disney font: http://tinyurl.com/d3zrn7 (*headdesk* & repeat!)9:05 AM Apr 28th from web

# In case some of you thought I was making idle threats yesterday: http://tinyurl.com/cgm6fk (Hats off to John for stepping up!)10:03 AM Apr 29th from web

# The comments today are nearly as entertaining as yesterday's. Still, y'all be nice: nobody's an idiot OR a moron, k? Can't we all get along?10:09 AM Apr 29th from web

ETA 3: As pointed out by willywanka, apparently Blogger is responsible for bahleeted comments on Cake Wrecks.

franticallysimple puts it best, "Does this mysterious comment deletion have anything to do with the Epcot Center, now owned by Disney?"

Bakery wank, anyone?

Wed, 22 Apr 2009 12:06:03 GMT

Okay, this is small, but full of delicious WTF. It's also entirely in Polish - luckily for you all, it's my native language, and thus I can offer you a full translation!

A bit of background: I'm moving to Scotland this summer, my fiance will be attending the University of Dundee, so we're hoping to get a small place together. Last time I was in Scotland for longer than a month, I started really missing Polish-style bread, so I'm wondering if there's anywhere I could get that while I'm in Dundee without having to resort to my family mailing me some.

A quick Google search brings me to Emito.net, a community website for Polish immigrants in the UK. From there, a search for "dundee bakery" finds me this discussion thread.

All smallcaps and giant leaps of logic were faithfully preserved from the original.

o o: looking for confectionery or bakery in dundee

as above,is there a polish bakery in dundee?

cropa: no. Dundee is a town in Scotland as is nowhere as close to Kalisz as you might think. they have a shitload of scottish bakeries and confectioneries, but no polish ones - sorry

o o: thanks,scottish cakes don't taste half as good as polish

cropa: okay.

I don't want to argue, because if someone never leaves tesco and has no friends in Dundee they can't know where to go on sunday for a good cake or ice-cream. But, ah well. If someone assumes scotsmen are dumb and can't do anything right, then... there's no point. The fact is, I know good bakeries in poznan, but I also know lousy ones. The same goes over here. I think you should look for some friends who have a similar worldview.

gabrino ...: @cropa - What are you so offended about? OP never said scotsmen were dumb or couldn't do anything right, Just wanted to know if there was a polish bakery in dundee ( there might be, right? ) and he has the right to have his own opinion when he says he prefers polish cakes. I prefer polish bread but I don't think scotsmen can't produce anything good. On the contrary I think their sweets are very good

Just a small note

cropa: I never said OP said scotsmen are dumb.

gabrino ...: OK, you're riht . I expressed it badly . but you implied he thinks that when you wrote : quote "But, ah well. If someone assumes scotsmen are dumb and can't do anything right, then...

cropa: exactly - i stated my opinion. i think if they open polish bakeries etc. here there won't be any point in promoting poland as a tourist destination. dunno - maybe i'm wrong.

gabrino ...: then maybe you should start a new thread on emito titled: polish bakeries in dundee vs. promotion of polish touristry in poland .. And vent your frustration that way. In general I find your comment to be very rude
Because this thread seems to be about whether ther eis or isn't a polish bakery in dundee. Because OP likes polish cakes. I don't think there's any more to it than that.

cropa: I think otherwise and a difference in opinion is cause for a discussion.

gabrino ...: but o o didn't express any opinion. He just said he likes polish cakes. That id not an opinion ,that is a matter of what he likes or not. i don't think you should discuss that. like you don't discuss tastes. You like it or not, that's it. I'm not going to try to convince anyone how awesome chocolote icecraem is , if someone likes say berry. And it's also not a reason for some political discussion.

cropa: scottish cakes don't taste half as good as polish

this isn't an opinion?

sorry, it doesn't add up

gabrino ...: all right, I won't drag out this discussion any more, it leads nowhere But I'm sure you'll agree that your comment wasn't the nicest in the world. And generally that's my main beef. Even if you want to state your opinion, it would be cool if you could do it in a nice way. And if you think the answer you wrote is perfectly ok, then think of how other people talk to you. if this is normal for you

cropa: i'll agree it wasn't the nicest - but i don't think everything has to always be written nicely

And so, that baffling aside done, the rest of the thread proceeds on the original topic, someone recommends a Polish baker who does cakes on demand, and I find out that apparently Polish bread can be found in most large supermarkets in Dundee. Score!

Let me tell you a few things about my friend Roy G. Biv

Sun, 19 Apr 2009 18:25:29 GMT

Rainbows, you guys. There is wank about rainbows.

But why isn't your book selling?

Fri, 17 Apr 2009 23:07:19 GMT

It's all the fault of literary agents, who are single-handedly destroying literature everywhere!

Excerpt:

The substantial and nearly unassailable wall that separates you from us has been under construction for decades. You can find the names of its architects and gatekeepers on your telephone-callers list, and in your email in-box. They are the literary agents—that league of intellectual-property purveyors who bring you every new manuscript you ever see, those men and women who are so anxious to gain access to the caverns of treasure they believe you sit upon like some great golden goose that they would likely hack one another’s heads off were they not united by one self-serving mission: to ensure that quality fiction never hits your desk.

Just a tiny bit of entitlement, elitism, and self-delusion.

And some responses...

So small, yet so sweet

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 13:19:20 GMT

This shit is bananas!

(Edit: first icon in replies is NSFW, might be others too; otherwise it's just bizarre threads on food consumption.)

Same sex couples physically can’t have children, therefore, there is no point to the relationship.

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 06:24:10 GMT

Anti-gay ad in the Salt Lake Tribune is posted for discussino at KVNU’s For The People
http://kvnuforthepeople.com/2009/02/16/anti-gay-ad-in-the-salt-lake-tribune/

The comments are a general chorus disgust at the content and making fun of the horrible design. Until "Kaye" chimes in, starting with "I’m straight but I have plenty of gay friends" and ending by bringing Hitler into it. After that it's non-stop fun.

ETA: My mistake. This should be in unfunnybusiness.

ETA2: To clarify: Homophobia is not funny. People who invoke Godwin's should be mocked mercilessly.

Wesleyan University Wank

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 06:01:02 GMT

So, there's this group on the campus of Wesleyan University (in CT) called Eclectic. They used to be a fraternity, but went co-ed, and subsequently were forcibly separated from their alumni association when they burned "fuck the alums" into the lawn of their house. They are famous for having sold all of their furniture for cocaine, and also for throwing awesome concerts and large sweaty all-campus dance parties (which themselves are famous for the MDMA present).

Naturally, a place like that is going to cause some problems. Namely, they have been shut down for the semester. The reason this is exciting is because Wesleyan is a very web 2.0 campus, with both an active student run blog (linked above) and a super-active Anonymous Confession Board, the latter of which has a lot to say. A TON. Opinions. Conspiracy theories.
Jokes .

There is of course a segment of campus that is outraged, and a petition is circulated. Even people who claim to be unassociated have strong pro-Ecletic, anti-student government opinions.
However, people are skeptical that Eclectic is in the right. They remain unconvinced weeks later.

Eventually, outrage dies down and the zeitgeist shifts, so the Sound Co-Op, which provides cheap PA systems and setup for the whole campus (and is populated primarily by Eclectic members), decides that they be boycotting the ENTIRE CAMPUS until Eclectic is served justice (i.e. reopened without consequence). General sentiment is that this is ridiculous and calculated. Meanwhile, there is a lot of very deep-cut Wesleyan handwringing about our reputation as an "activist" status.

ETA: And the petition is now closed due to "spam," ie trolling (no, I'm not concerned that it was anyone here).

Save a horse, whack a cowboy

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 02:25:25 GMT

Oh, ponies. Like so many girls who grew up in the city, I think ponies are ace. They can do anything and are awesome and some of them even talk in your head and make you all emo & special. I <3 (imaginary) ponies, for they are perfect.

As with all things awesome and squee worthy, there is a Live Journal community for squeeing! Over ponies! (But not imaginary ponies, real ponies, so these ponies do not give you magical Mary Sue powers, woe, so the community is actually more like "Let's talk about our horses and discuss things about horsemanship." I am very disappointed at the lack of "how to have sex on my emo magical pony" posts.) It's pretty-heavily female, as one would imagine, so when a Boy Pony Owner shows up, there's a bit of !!! Boy! going on.

Boy Pony Owner is Chuck McDonald, aka wildhorseblog, aka "I know everything because I am a boy, don't you know?" He first introduces himself to the comm in a wank-free post on March 18, which I am only mentioning because his inevitable [SPOILER!] FLOUNCE! occurs on March 21.[/SPOILER!]

Basically, Boy Pony Owner wants to use the comm for some self promotion of his own special way of making horses do things. I didn't follow it, but not everyone thinks that Boy Pony Owner's ideas are all that magical, interesting or new. So, when someone comes along, having trouble with her horse's loading and asks for advice, there isn't a squeeing acceptance of the awesomeness of everything Boy Pony Owner suggests.

Boy Pony Owner cannot sort out why folks might not be jumping on the Boy Pony Owner Is Awesome Bandwagon, so buymeaclue responds by very patiently, with reference to the rules of the comm explaining it to him.

So, of course: FLOUNCE!

If what I have to say is not appreciated, then I'll leave. In fact I think that's a good idea. I think that as a professional trainer, posting in an online forum opens me up to too much drama and it can get personal too easily. This won't help my career, so I'm going to bow out now.

Candidly, I think that part of the reason I'm getting resentment here is because I'm young and male. Some of you ladies don't want to hear advice from a man, particularly one who suggests you might have done something wrong. Even though, I haven't gone after anyone personally. I've only spoken out against stud chains, etc from my own personal experience and I stand by that.

Everything I've posted in this community has been done with unimpeachable class, courtesy and professionalism. If I'm going to catch hell because I'm presenting myself as knowledgeable, then I bid you all good day. At the end of the day, your opinions of me don't really matter anyway because when it comes to horses I get results. Particularly since none of ya'll are actually paying me.

I think Boy Pony Owner could have done better on the dismount, myself, but then, I think ponies should be silver with blue eyes and special angst-adding abilities.

Oooh, the shrinkage!

Thu, 19 Mar 2009 04:05:37 GMT

Over on Best Week Ever (a blog of the VH1 show of the same name that I discovered while clicking around on Steve Colbert's site) I found this highly fascinating account of Eric Nies stripping himself bare to save his dog from an icy lake. Nies is, apparently, the "hot guy from the Grind" if you were wondering.

WELL! There are very few comments but it seems like every one of them is a misspelled slap at people who are misspelling their comments.

Smashley sez: @ @ EL G: Technically it would be: “THESE ARE the type of people who also read this blog and comment.” You are referring to two seperate people who made mistakes in their comments. And you know the old saying, “people who live in glass houses…” I wouldn’t criticize others without at least proofreading my own comment. (I really hope I didn’t make a grammatical mistake in this comment…)

There's also some conjecture as to WHY IS HE NAKED as well as a fan who is a little too defensive of the guy's career. Ah, chilly willy, I was amused all around.

Save Spuds Mackenzie!!1!!

Sun, 15 Mar 2009 05:14:30 GMT

Soooo, a three year old kid broke out the Crayola washable markers and went to town on the family dog.

This being Cute Overload the response was immediate and predictable.

HORRIBLE PARENTING!

BAH! HORRIBLE CHILDFREE OVERREACTION!

YIKES! HORRIBLE THROW ON THAT COUCH!

Do you have alfredo in a can? Well, let him out!

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 16:53:06 GMT

So, hourglasscreate makes a post to the cooking community which includes a recipe for "Easy Fettucine Alfredo" which she supposedly got off of a Campbell's Soup can. This does not go over well.

ETA: Aaaand the second link has gone bye-bye. Now how will I find a recipe for boiled water? ;_;

ANOTHER ETA: She's wanking it up again in a whole new post! This time, it's about "sloppy joes".

Pound for pound this is one of the most befuddling wanks I've seen

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 04:04:30 GMT

A question about a common symbol leads to three pages of cross-Atlantic warfare.

There's really nothing more to say.

Feministing Porn Wank

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 06:28:36 GMT

Over on feministing.com, Steven asks So I am wondering what the view of porn are here. How it affects men, women, society. Good affects, bad affects, all that stuff. among other things and spawns wank.

Lilith Luffles scores with the first mention of Andrea Dworkin's view of porn. In the replies to that, RuPaula and meeneecat debate women's cum shots.

Sarah whines that people who like porn don't watch her porn and has low reading comprehension.

In the same thread, porn stars (and all sex workers) are slaves of the patriarchry. Actually, all women are slaves of the patriarchy and nothing more than their bodies.

Rachel in WY complains that porn is made for men.

MASHBengal thinks written and animated porn are worse than live action porn and more demeaning. timothy_nakayama asked for her thoughts on yaoi, but she doesn't respond.

kaitlynva demands that someone think of the children.

Your fantasy is wrong. You're just a tool of the patriarchy.

Hair today, wank tomorrow

Fri, 20 Feb 2009 15:55:20 GMT

marveen posts in bad_service about a crappy hairstylist.

amazonvera lets everyone know that if you only pay $12 for a haircut, you deserve what you get and you shouldn't bitch about it.

Short but ~~sweet~~ worth every penny.