Once upon a time, someone in facebook posted a "Why Geeks Make Better Boyfriends" list. Britney St. Patience felt the need to point out its inaccuracies. She prefaces it with "Sure there are geek guys out there who are great partners. But being a geek does not guarantee that a guy will be a great boyfriend."

It's a pretty standard 'Nice Guy' deconstruction.

The main highlights are:

Myth #3: Geeks are low maintenance
Supposedly geek guys make great boyfriends because they can subsist on pizza, Mt Dew, and your affection. Just wait until you meet one who will ONLY eat pizza and maybe 3-4 other foods, like some sort of overgrown five year old. It took me nearly a decade to get my computer programmer ex husband to eat salad. My Star Wars obsessed ex boyfriend could not be taken to nice restaurants because he refused to wear anything except ripped jeans and nerdy tees and would not eat anything he could not pronounce. LOW MAINTENANCE MY ASS.

and

Myth #6: Geeks appreciate women
This one is, by far, my favorite geek guy myth. The myth of the guy who spent all of high school playing D&D but secretly wanting someone to love and when he finally gets a girl he imprints on her and covers her in puppy-like devotion. OMG WHERE DO PEOPLE GET THIS SHIT? You know what really happens when guys don't get laid in high school or college and spend all their time reading coming books and filling their spank banks with Buffy the Vampire Slayer fanfic? They fill their little nerd brains with unrealistic expectations, waiting around for what one of my gamer friends calls a "magical pixie girl". An unattainably hot woman, who will love the nerd boy not in spite of his nerdiness but because of it and somehow his life will be transformed by her love. And he shall get a job. And he shall move out of his parents basement. And he shall cease to be whatever it is he dislikes about himself because the magical lady doth love him. But woe to any girl who does not live up to his fantasy. She will be treated with the same regard as yesterday's Mt Dew cans.

So, a little harsh, but all in all not a matter for anger, right? Wrong!
( And how! Also, an anorexia trigger warning because what starts out as a 'No One's Perfect' rant turns into a very strange argument over salad. )
What follows is an extended debate over whether asking your spouse to eat salad is controlling, an act of deepest love for your dearest one, or something in between. Over salad.

Or, competition to be the most self-righteous of all!

So in Seattle on Friday night there was the monthly Critical Mass event. (For those who don't know Critical Mass, it's a biking event where a large group of bikers mass together and bike through a city.) It took a violent turn when an annoyed driver hit some of the cyclists, then had his car attacked and got beaten up himself when he came out of his car. Yes, that is not funny, but it gets there, really.

The Slog, the blog of Seattle's alt-weekly the Stranger, picked up the story on Saturday. And that's where it gets generally entertaining.

The first post originally was just a mention of it happening, but was then edited to contain two conflicting eyewitness reports. And that's when the comments start, as well. Many have some irritated things to say about Critical Mass. Many people have critical things to say about the people who have critical things to say about Critical Mass. Some people are just being dicks.

Extremely pro-biking (and general troll-magnet, whatever she posts on Slog) writer Erica C. Barnett makes her first post, and there's more comment grumpiness, as well as a bit of name-calling. Fairly tame.

Another writer, Jonothan Golob, rants about the actual street that this took place on. More bitching. Check out Samantha at 25- she's copy-pasted her (rather long) rant into each comment.

Now, Erica has an opinion. As do the people in the comments- I'm particularly fond of the exchange between comments 16 and 30:
Also: why are so many slog commentators so hostile to bicyclists, to critical mass, and to anything that smacks of even mild civil disobedience? It seems like the majority of comments come from people with barely disguised vigilante fantasies, which is scary.
Posted by Trevor | July 26, 2008 8:52 PM
@16 "mild civil disobedience"??? What bullshit. You obviously know NOTHING about civil disobedience.

God, bring back the good old days of ACT UP! and Queer Nation and the like when people were performing acts of civil disobedience FOR A PURPOSE.

Your CM parades are no more of a "civil disobedience" than online petitions demanding the return of One Calorie Diet Coke to your local Fred Meyer.

Another eyewitness report! And he's a lawyer. Comment irritation approaching...uh, large amounts.

This eyewitness also claims that no one 'surrounded' the driver. In this comment thread, a new version of Godwin's Law is called for, probably as a result of this...

I agree with #24. Critical Mass is more of a local terrorist group than any sort of "civil" disobedience group and should be treated as such. Your terrorist tactics are made even more dangerous by your mob mentality and lack of leadership. I'm sure you'll ALL come forward in your pot-smoke smelling rags and plead your case as the down-trodden underdogs who pedal for peace instead of drive to fuel the oil companies pockets. But, that doesn't give you the right to beat drivers to death because you don't like them. We don't like you either. Posted by WestSeattleCyclist | July 27, 2008 9:34 AM
DING DING DING. Is there a Godwin's Law corollary for "terrorist"? If so, we have a winner!
Posted by pox | July 27, 2008 9:45 AM

Finally, this morning, Slog got a report from the driver. It's worth reading mostly for this phrase, of the driver describing the situation: “I’m gay, the person with me was a lesbian and we were a attacked by eco-terrorists. It’s the most Seattle thing that could have happened." Most commenters like the driver's statement more than the Critical Mass eyewitnesses, since he says he's sorry, at least in the first few comments. Then, they start bickering over how he could have not known he was in first gear. And then it goes in several different directions of wank.

A commenter relates a very long story about how his friend once pulled a knife on a driver that tried to hit him, which was apparently the right thing to do in that situation. Someone else disagrees. They debate who is a dumbass.

In another continuing theme, The charming skeptic thinks that everyone against Critical Mass is a cop. Like Porkchop Sandwiches, who thinks that Critical Mass might be breaking the law by blocking traffic all the time. Skeptic thinks Porkchop is definitely a cop, because why else would he think that's a problem?

There's also the continuing theme of Critical Mass as some form of civil disobedience- Judah, who posted the story about his friend pulling a knife on the driver, compares cyclists/CM participants to King, Gandhi, and the Black Panthers. He then gets called a sanctimonious fucker. Another call for a new corollary of Godwin's Law- this time about groups comparing themselves to Civil Rights groups (he may have a point there). Judah does not like people making fun of him, and tries to win obscurity points by instead comparing the situation to pea growers v. corn growers in central Washington, while also calling one of his critics an 'argumentative little weasel'.

In the latest Slog post, Erica suggests that readers contact local media to complain. Some attacks on Erica's journalistic integrity ensue. rb is still wondering what Critical Mass protests have ever actually done, which causes another commenter to snap back asking what any parade has ever done? rb responds by saying, at least they have permits, and also do these things.

Skeptic still thinks everyone against him is a cop. #7 Rider thinks Skeptic is being a jerk. Skeptic does not believe that #7 Rider really rides the bus, because the only proof that Skeptic has is that #7 Rider says he/she rides the bus.

Gadfly says that everyone- cyclist, driver, cops, media- fails on an epic scale.

I am inclined to agree with him.

And this is likely to be ongoing. Just wait until it's Monday and all the regulars get back...

And, if Slog isn't enough, bonus wank from pishbadlarr: the Seattle community at Livejournal and lots of it on the seattlebikes community as well.

but wait! there's more! (from quartz): wank in the comments from another blog, including corking = kidnapping/false imprisonment! (Side note: man, bikers are angry at those Critical Mass sorts, aren't they?)

I don't think I've ever seen BoingBoing wank here - is there a reason for that or just that nobody thinks to look there? The place explodes at least once a fortnight, and an experienced wanka can pick where the good stuff is gonna hit. The lastest 'splodey on the forum follows one of Cory Doctorow's posts - Hot day fun for kids - paint the house with water!

You can probably see where this is going: the "Don't you know there's a drought on?" folks are slugging it out with the "let the kids have their fun" folks, so there's fun for all.

Just a tip - for those who don't regularly frequent BoingBoing, it's a moderated forum - if someone has pissed a mod off you'll see their post come up "disemvowelled" - you can usually make out what is being said if you want to hard enough.

I couldn't find any tags that said "conservation" or "environmentalism", so I've left them off - sorry!